The Hundred Faces were in confusion.
It was no joke: they had barely managed to kidnap the "queen" when they were attacked by the Lion King's knights, who, in theory, shouldn't have interfered in the territory of the Sun Pharaoh due to a non-aggression pact.
"Mistress, these types are not simple," reported one of the assassins. "And... I don't feel any bloodlust. They are only defending and seem to be trying to suppress us, not kill us."
The Hundred Faces bit her lip.
Damn it, since when were the assassins from the Mountain Village treated like petty thugs?
"They think we're no match for them? Bastards!" she spat.
With fury in her eyes, she threw a dagger, but it merely bounced off with a clang against a huge shield, clearly belonging to the Lion King's side. The girl with the shield immediately rushed forward, clutching one of the dropped daggers in her hand.
"Kkh!"
Meanwhile, Deadpool and Da Vinci, barely fending off the attacks of the "white masks," went on the counteroffensive. Of course, according to the plan – not to kill, but only to incapacitate. However, the assassins, noticing that they weren't being killed, took it as arrogance, and their onslaught only intensified.
"Listen, maybe it's time to say that there's been a misunderstanding?" Deadpool shouted.
"We can say it, but they seem to have gotten even angrier!" Da Vinci replied.
Despite the enemy's numerical superiority, Ritsuka's group began to gain the upper hand thanks to their coordinated actions. Seeing that the situation was taking a turn for the worse, the Hundred Faces hesitated and commanded her subordinates:
"Retreat! Leave the queen here."
"But we captured her with such difficulty! It's a shame to leave the spoils!"
"If we drag her with us, these upstarts won't leave us alone. Then they'll figure out our refuge. I can't risk my kin and refugees for one girl. Back!"
At the signal of the Hundred Faces, the masked figures instantly withdrew from the battlefield.
"Phew... they're finally gone," Da Vinci exhaled.
"You know, they remind me of someone..." Deadpool thoughtfully scratched his chin, watching the disappearing shadows. "Don't we have anyone like that in Chaldea? Hmm... familiar faces."
Soon, he put away his weapon and called out to Mash, who was standing aside, breathing heavily.
"Hey, Mash, great job. And, uh... drop the knife."
Mash, who was in some kind of stupor, snapped out of it, found a clenched dagger in her hand, and dropped it in fright. Apparently, the tension was so high that her fingers trembled slightly. Deadpool, not missing a beat, approached and placed his hand on her shoulder.
"Relax. I won't ask what that was. Just relax. Your job is to protect the kid. Don't go overboard."
After uttering these short phrases, Deadpool made Mash lift her head. She gave a weak smile, indicating that everything was fine.
"Thank you, Mr. Pool."
"Thanks don't put food on the table, go to the kid. He looks like he's about to get heatstroke over there."
As Mash, recovering, hurried to Ritsuka, Da Vinci began to carefully examine the bundle dropped by the assassins. It was a huge bundle that could easily fit a person.
"Wow. It looks like they really kidnapped someone. Judging by the direction, they were dragging her into that mountain gorge."
"What, did they decide to steal some rich merchant from a caravan to extort a ransom?" Deadpool suggested. "Well, robbery is profitable in such a remote place."
Exchanging words with Da Vinci, he began to unroll the fabric.
Inside, there was indeed a person. But judging by her attire, she was clearly no ordinary individual.
"By the looks of it... an Egyptian woman," Da Vinci mused.
"And what's on her head? An ornament or real ears?"
Before them lay a woman in a luxurious, provocatively revealing outfit, such as one might find only on ancient frescoes. Her head was adorned with a headdress resembling jackal ears. Both her clothing and her noble facial features made it clear: this was a person of at least noble birth.
"Mmm... yummy... oh great Pharaoh... spare me... mmm... strawberry ice cream is mine... hr-r..."
Usually, kidnapping victims don't sleep so peacefully, let alone talk in their sleep. Perhaps she had been drugged, but the fact remained: the lady was in the realm of dreams.
"Well, why are we standing around? Wake her up," Deadpool urged.
"Me? Why should I?"
"Then I'll wake her up."
"...No, better me."
Suspecting that Da Vinci might beat the stranger soundly with her staff and then blame it on him, Deadpool decided to take the initiative. He leaned close to the woman's ear and whispered:
"Blood, toads, lice, flies, pestilence, boils, hail of fire, locusts, darkness, death of the firstborn."
As soon as he listed the ten plagues of Egypt, the woman's eyes snapped open as if she had been electrocuted. Fury blazed in her gaze. She jumped up and roared at Ritsuka's group:
"You, Moses! How dare you mock the great Pharaoh! There will be no forgiveness for you! Know then the punishment of Nitocris!"
Hearing the angry tirade about Moses and pharaohs, Da Vinci sidled up to Deadpool and whispered:
"What did you say to her to make her so furious?"
"Nothing much. Just quoted the Ten Commandments... I mean, the plagues from Exodus."
Deadpool proudly crossed his arms over his chest, for which he immediately received a painful kick to the ankle from Da Vinci. Who would have thought to wake an ancient Egyptian woman with something that still gives any inhabitant of the Nile Valley chills.
"Wait! Moses isn't here! Who are you people?!" Nitocris finally focused her gaze. "Aha! So you're the ones who kidnapped me! Foolish foreigners! And your outfits... and your faces... suspicious!"
Coming to her senses, Nitocris immediately drew the wrong conclusion and menacingly waved her staff.
"W-wait, calm down! Lady Pharaoh? We saved you. We didn't kidnap you!" Ritsuka tried to explain, trying to look as friendly as possible.
But Nitocris had no intention of lowering her weapon.
"Liar! I was preparing strawberry ice cream for the great Pharaoh, it looked so delicious that I decided to try a spoonful... and immediately lost consciousness! And I woke up here, in front of you. And you still dare to deny it?"
The circumstances of the "kidnapping" sounded, to put it mildly, absurd, but it was not easy to convince the angry woman.
"Listen, pointy-ears. Why would we want you? Do we look like robbers who... okay, our appearance is peculiar. But still! We don't care about you!"
"Silence! And these are jackal ears! How dare you mock the appearance of the wise god of the underworld! Besides... the land you stand on belongs to the great Pharaoh! Who allowed you to trespass here without permission?!"
Faced with such impenetrable arrogance and stubbornness, Deadpool merely demonstratively picked at his ear.
"Are you ignoring me?! Oh, really... Fine! Then know the power of the Pharaoh! Appear, Sphinx!"
Nitocris struck the ground twice with her staff, and from the shimmering heat, a huge shadow materialized, descending right in front of her. The very Sphinx that had recently pestered them with absurd riddles had returned.
"Oh, great Nitocris. Did you call me?"
"These madmen tried to kidnap me and are now rampaging on Pharaoh's lands. Teach them a lesson!"
"It shall be done..."
The Sphinx began to turn, but upon seeing familiar faces, it froze like a stone statue. Though, it was made of stone anyway.
"What are you waiting for? Punish them immediately!"
"..."
"Hey! You recognize us? You promised we passed the test and could "stay for a while" here!" Deadpool waved his hands, breaking the awkward silence.
While Nitocris fumed, the Sphinx, finding itself in a very awkward position, carefully averted its gaze from Deadpool.
"Oh? Pretending not to know us? Hey, kitty! We're buddies!"
When the Sphinx turned away completely, Nitocris, completely bewildered, squinted suspiciously.
"Alright, come here. We need to talk."
"Yes, ma'am..."
"And you stay put and don't move!" she threw at Ritsuka and the others. "I need to clarify something!"
Nitocris, moving a good distance away, beckoned the Sphinx over and, as soon as it approached, smacked it across the nose with her staff. The Sphinx, like a punished puppy, whined and began to roll in the sand – even though it was a stone statue, tears spurted from its eyes.
"Who allowed you to overstep your authority?!" she hissed. "And what's this about a test? How long can you lure innocent foreigners onto our territory with your stupid antics?!"
Nitocris grumbled in a low voice so that Ritsuka and the others wouldn't hear her.
"But... my task is to raise sandstorms and drive away strangers," came the booming voice. "But I swore that if someone passed the test, they could 'briefly' cross the lands of the Sun King... And besides, this power was given to me not by the queen, but by the Great Sun King himself."
"Your excuses are blasphemy!" Nitocris cut him off. "Didn't you do anything properly in life, that you're doing this now? You ask your stupid riddles about 'four legs in the morning and two at noon,' because of which outsiders are always wandering here... Work properly! I will report the incident to the Pharaoh myself."
Nitocris, not hiding her irritation, hit him on the nose again. The Sphinx, with a miserable look, began to rub its bruised spot.
"Hmm-hmm. Excuse me?" Deadpool cautiously approached and called out to the arguing pair. "Are you done with your meeting? We're a bit in a hurry, maybe we can just go?"
"Don't even dream about it!" she snapped. "First, you'll be punished! Sphinx!"
"...As you command," it replied with obvious reluctance.
The Sphinx, deciding it had nothing left to lose, lunged at Deadpool. On reflex, he pulled out a grenade and threw it at the opponent. A small explosion erupted, and pieces of stone flew off the Sphinx's muzzle, but it didn't cause serious damage.
"Damn it, you scared me!" Deadpool cursed. "You should warn people, you Egyptian scarecrow!"
"Such is the will of the great Pharaoh," the Sphinx boomed. "And the will of the Pharaoh is the will of the heavens. Accept your punishment!"
To a majestic roar, a heavy foreleg descended upon Deadpool. Not wanting to repeat past mistakes, he did a backflip and drew his pistols.
"Hey, old lady, look at him! He's cheating!"
"Well, then we'll have to play by the rules too," Da Vinci replied.
Mash and Da Vinci immediately took up combat positions. The plan was simple: Deadpool distracts attention, Da Vinci provides support, and Mash covers Ritsuka.
"Wow, you know tactics?" Da Vinci whistled in surprise, seeing how Deadpool, whom she considered pure instinct, acted quite thoughtfully.
"Actually, before I ended up here, I traveled the world and killed people professionally," he grumbled indignantly. "Do you think you just need to pull the trigger to kill someone? I have a brain too!"
Distracted by the argument, Deadpool pointed at Da Vinci and was immediately crushed by the Sphinx's paw. However, miraculously withstanding the monstrous weight, he managed to stick a C4 charge to the beast's paw pad and rolled away.
"Enough ancient stuff for me... Feel the power of civilization!"
He pressed the detonator. The explosion ripped off the Sphinx's paw. It staggered, but at the last moment, it spread its wings and pushed off the ground with force, soaring into the air.
"Uh... aerial units are a problem now..." Deadpool belatedly regretted blowing off its leg, but it was too late.
"Does anyone have 'Dragoons'? Or at least a 'Goliath'? Okay, forget it. I'll handle it myself."
The Sphinx, cutting through the air, dived at Deadpool like an eagle at prey. Da Vinci tried to cover him with magic, but without much success – to inflict serious damage, she needed to get closer.
"Mash! Shield!"
Mash reacted instantly. She angled the shield, creating an improvised springboard. Deadpool, with a running start, jumped onto it and tensed up like a coiled spring.
"Fire!" he commanded.
Mash pushed the shield upwards with all her might. Deadpool, gaining extra acceleration, shot into the sky like a bullet, straight towards the hovering Sphinx.
"If you don't want to come down, then I'll come up to you!"
To make the beast fly closer, Deadpool fired a few provocative shots in its direction. The Sphinx, despite its size, moved swiftly and soon found itself within reach.
"Time to use what Spider-Man taught me!"
He fired a carbon fiber grappling hook, generously coated with glue. The hook stuck firmly to the Sphinx's body. Deadpool clung to it with a death grip, enduring the furious shaking, and began to close the distance.
"Oh... oh... I'm going to... puke... Ugh-ugh..." He was tossed from side to side so violently that his head spun, but he stubbornly climbed up until he finally straddled the monster.
"You dare trample my back?!" the Sphinx roared. "Only the chosen are allowed to touch me!"
The beast thrashed even more furiously. Deadpool, holding on tightly with his hips, began to stick C4 charges directly onto its flapping wings. Then he drew a grenade and pulled the pin with his teeth.
"Hasta la vista, baby!"
Shoving the grenade deep into the joint of the armor on the Sphinx's back, Deadpool gave it the middle finger and plummeted down like a stone. The Sphinx desperately tried to shake off the "gifts," but the grenade detonated, causing a chain reaction of C4. The stone body disintegrated into pieces.
"Problems with stubborn opponents?" Deadpool chattered as the Sphinx's debris rained down on the sand. "Universal remote-controlled C4 explosives! Order now! Incredible price – only thirty-nine thousand eight hundred dollars! Buy three boxes for the price of two when paying with 'Chaldea-Pay'! Call immediately!"
"Well, that's two-one in my favor!" He triumphantly stuck out his tongue, teasing Da Vinci.
Nitocris, however, didn't even bat an eye, watching the death of her guardian.
"Did you really think the Sphinx could be defeated so easily?" She smiled mysteriously and shifted her gaze to where Ritsuka and Mash stood.
Noticing this look, Da Vinci turned pale.
"Ritsuka! Mash! Watch out!"
But it was too late.
A pillar of sand erupted behind them, and a giant paw grabbed both of them. From the dunes, the true guardian of the great Pharaoh's lands slowly rose – a colossal Great Sphinx, of which the previous monster was merely a shadow.
"What the hell? Is that the Obelisk Tormentor now?!"
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan