"I'll chop off your other limbs too, so stand still and wait!" Mordred's loud shout went unanswered. The steam robot's red lens flared, and it released thick clouds of steam, disappearing from view.
"Ah, you scoundrel! You think you can escape?!"
"...Forces... unequal... retreating...," the mechanism rasped.
The massive metal hulk soared into the sky and vanished into the night mist.
"Pah, boring tin can. And here I was hoping to get a good workout..."
The battle was over. Sheathing her sword, Mordred turned to Mash and Ritsuka, who were frozen behind her.
"Are you out of your minds?! There's such thick fog in London right now, going outside is pure suicide."
"Sorry... we didn't fully grasp the seriousness of the situation," Mash apologized politely under the knight's heavy, dismissive gaze.
"Oh, come on, we're just jumping into the thick of it!" Dedchu chimed in, hopping onto Ritsuka's shoulder. "By the way, want a pancake?"
Mordred stared, dumbfounded, at the strange creature in the red suit, resembling a raccoon, which also spoke human language.
"A talking raccoon? Are you mages? Though wait... you seem to be a Servant."
Sensing the Servant aura from Mash, Mordred demanded an explanation, and the group briefly outlined the situation.
"Ah, so that's how it is? So we're allies now? Heh-heh, fine then. My Master always sits locked up and just bossed me around. Lazy piece of shit..."
Glad for the appearance of allies, Mordred extended her hand to Mash and officially introduced herself:
"Servant, Saber. True name – Mordred. Knight of the Round Table and the rightful heir to King Arthur."
"Mash Kyrielight. And this is my Senpai..."
"Fujimaru Ritsuka, nice to meet you."
It was Dedchu's turn, but he had already leaned against the nearest wall, striking a dramatic pose.
"A cold Londoner. Or simply CLP – Deadpool. Nice to meetcha!"
When the red raccoon winked absurdly, Mordred's face contorted with disgust. Without a hint of shame, she blurted out:
"Ugh, so cringe!"
"Mister Pool, but aren't you from Canada?" Mash reminded him.
"Hey, Canada is part of the Commonwealth! So, the blood of a Londoner flows in my veins! So I'm officially considered a cold Londoner."
"You can't be fixed..."
Watching the raccoon pontificate about his "London blood," Mordred couldn't help but burst into laughter. After she finished laughing, she nodded at the group with a satisfied look.
"You're quite amusing. Follow me to my Master. It's safe there, at least."
Under Mordred's lead, they passed several blocks from the battle site.
"This is..."
"Baker Street? It says 'Baker Street'!" Ritsuka pointed to a sign at the beginning of the street. Mash and Dedchu immediately stared at the sign with wide eyes.
"Mother of God, it's really Baker Street! Benedict Cumberbatch, have mercy! So, this is where...!"
"The most famous detective in the world!" Mash's eyes sparkled with delight.
Ritsuka paused for a moment, trying to match the address with the identity of the great detective.
"Ah! That's the one!"
Finally, it dawned on him too.
"What are you waiting for? Come in quickly. If you stand around at the doorstep, I won't save you when those creatures attack again."
Hurried by Mordred, they rushed inside.
Stopping in front of the door numbered "221B," the friends swallowed. The address matched perfectly. The guess about who the grumpy Saber's Master was turned into certainty.
"Please be Benedict... Please be Benedict... Doctor Strange, Cucumber, Mister I-i-i... please!" Dedchu crossed his fingers in a fervent prayer. Mash also froze in anticipation.
"Hey, Master! I'm back! And I brought guests – they also have a Master-Servant!"
"Aaaaaah!!"
Mordred unceremoniously flung open the door to a dark room, and a pained cry came from the corner – the sudden light struck the owner in the eyes.
Amidst piles of books and stacks of documents, a rustling sound was heard, and a figure of the Master appeared before them.
"Please, don't slam the door like that... I've had a bit to drink, and my head is splitting."
His gaze was hazy, his focus blurred, and his appearance utterly disheveled. His messy hair and unkempt beard made one doubt: could this really be the greatest detective?
"What?! Tony Stark?!" Dedchu was in shock. Mash shared his astonishment.
"We're coming in, Master."
"Don't touch anything! Everything! It's all in its place... Please!"
Despite the detective's nervous warning, Mordred's armor brushed against a stack of books, and it crashed down with a bang.
"Oh, for heaven's sake. If it's night, either sleep or work, choose one! You're always such a hassle, Master."
"There's hell knows what going on five blocks from here, what sleep is there? By the way..."
The detective, staggering from the effects of the medication, shuffled around the room and only now noticed that his Servant was not alone. Squinting, he peered at the uninvited guests.
"So, a trio... One Servant. With a shield like that, it must be Captain Ame... no, no. A Shielder-class Servant. You, kid. Judging by the mark on your hand – her Master. Hmm... a scratch on the neck, a light tan, the hand was recently injured. Your posture leans slightly to the right – you're used to staying close to your Servant. And the raccoon on your shoulder..."
The deduction flowed like a machine gun. Mash and Ritsuka were amazed: he had figured them out in an instant upon their first meeting.
Then the detective stared intently at the red raccoon and asked cautiously:
"We... haven't met before?"
"It's a space raccoon!" Dedchu whispered. "Remember: my voice is like Ryan Reynolds. His is like Bradley Cooper. Don't confuse us! Ahem-ahem... Well, I'm part of the Disney family now too, too bad we missed each other there. Nice to meet you, Mr. Stark. Anyway, want a pancake?"
The detective looked at the red creature for a long time, who chattered no less than himself, and at the end began to spout nonsense, addressing the void.
"First of all," the detective said slowly, "I am not Mr. Stark. Holmes. Sherlock Holmes. Second... I won't refuse a pancake."
Holmes immediately snatched the treat, generously dipped it in maple syrup, and took a bite with relish.
"Hmm. Not bad. Perhaps even better than Mrs. Hudson's. I like this raccoon. Yum yum."
Finishing the pancake in two bites, Holmes pointed Ritsuka and the others to the empty seats.
"Hey, Motti. Make us some tea."
"What?! Am I your butler to serve tea? Do it yourself!"
"I command you by the power of the Command Spell. Mordred, bring tea."
"Don't waste spells on such nonsense!"
When Holmes showed the back of his hand, where two spells out of three remained, Mordred, with veins bulging on her forehead, gave him a smack on the back of the head, stopping the waste.
"Usually Mrs. Hudson serves it... but she's on vacation," Holmes added with a hint of melancholy, which did not escape Mash's notice.
"Be that as it may, what are your names...?"
"Mash Kyrielight. Senpai's Demi-Servant."
"Fujimaru Ritsuka. Mash's Master."
"Dedchu... I mean, Deadpool. Nanny to these two."
Resting his chin on his hand, Holmes studied them, shifting his gaze to Ritsuka's Command Spells.
"Are you from the Clock Tower too?"
"Excuse me?"
"Apparently not. Got caught up in it? Though... the scouts from the Tower said nothing about a Shielder. Perhaps you're from another world? Just like in those fantasy novels about transmigrators?"
Ritsuka faltered under Holmes's barrage of guesses. It became clear: in this Singularity, the mages of the Clock Tower were actively involved, and Sherlock Holmes was somehow drawn into it.
"Actually, I was investigating the murder of a prostitute when I was suddenly kidnapped by types calling themselves 'mages.' Well, I knew where they were hiding anyway."
After a pause, Holmes continued:
"In short, these mages claimed that certain spiritual entities – Servants – were behind the murders, and told me about the Holy Grail War. Since it was related to the case, I decided it would be fun to take the job. And then..."
The door burst open with a bang. Mordred, in full armor, barely containing her rage, brought in a tray with tea and snacks.
"...And then I met this impudent Silver Knight."
Holmes seemed to enjoy her irritation. He began cracking walnuts with a satisfied look.
"For you to! Ever! Make me! Do! This again! I'll kill you, Sherlock!"
"By the power of the Command Spell, I order Motti..."
"Don't you dare!"
Mordred's patience snapped. Her armored fist slammed into the detective's face. Holmes fell backward with a smashed nose.
"Listen, there's already a Sherlock Holmes in this game. Then why is this one like this? Wait, if this is him, then Watson is Jude Law?!"
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan