*One more year later.*
Still suspect mom. So year secretly buying pregnancy pills, grinding powder, spiking her fitness-shake mix. Yeah, maybe awful—but better than surprise rugrat. Had to scout city pharmacy selling to me. Not near home; looks at eightyo buying pregnancy pills... loaded. Phrase "not for me—for friend"... shouldn't said first pharmacy. Panicked, what do.
Forget shameful; back Magic search—yoga flop, remembered Asians! Acupuncture body points popular. Approached prepared, no rush—want learn acupuncture. First two months massage lessons, hands ached fuck. Seems 5-10min knead body nothing—but fatigue like pullups minute two. Paid extra home massages—masseur, work it. Home tyranny power abuse—what do.
Then sought point books etc.—none. Week begged parents "needles in body" courses. Half year sketched tons body-point drawings, learned stick needles right, tested self. Feel... amateur. No Magic/internal reserves help. But now self-help numb leg—not useless.
Words can't convey pain/humiliations passed... Just passed. About life here general. Sum ten-year Japan anime existence—skipped grades, no biggie.
Poorly learned Japanese/English—no choice, mandatory. Legalized Russian somehow, brag three languages. Yeah, achievement! Library had Chinese-Japanese phrasebook, but no dive.
No friends, no childhood girlfriend—reasons many, main—no cute/pretty girls seen. Or socialphobe? Mmm, not... whatever, not toss half-understood smarts—uncommunicative. And scary truth—no Magic in me. Local Squib, or Muggle.
Why Harry Potter terms? My notebook, jotting world memories; recalled Elf? Von? Melorn? Mmm, sure surname—elf sacred tree vibe, first sounds airy elfy, but doubt full name.
What "von" linker—dunno. Aristos love such status prefixes like count? Added number end, generation big. Don't remember, unimportant.
Important—recalled! Often mentioned Mage's Association and Clock Tower. Guessing England, main London Clock Tower—local monument/sight, whatever. Doubt only spot; main branch, Hogwarts lite. They find pupils! Don't believe hereditary Mages only; fanfic mentioned First-generation magus, him lofty aristocrat turned pleb. Plausible!
Local Magic—magical circuits, everyone has! No acupuncture lessons mention; poking needles find... ok did, concluded energy not physical. Closest HP Wand analogy, but circuits short/thick conductivity... hereditary magus exalt/aristocracy praise.
But aside circuits—Magic source determines Mage or not. Means planet pop—Mages or Squibs! No third. Or Muggles not Squibs, label irrelevant! Have or not!
To what? HP analogy—potential Mage found somehow; banal kid Magical outburst! Enter me—either unique, or no Magic core. Why unique? Six years meditation/self-control; emotional unbreakability rivals oak—Star Wars, textbook Jedi.
Eh, kids gush emotions, rage/joy/freak. Anime/fanfics bright emotions Magic amps! Me none; mind curse like cobbler, but real anger/rage even then absent.
Yesterday test theory: park abandoned spot, stick beat bush trying rage/anger. Minute one light fatigue/existential pointlessness. Two same. Three mild annoyance fail. Few more strained, got wasted time/realization something wrong me.
Chemistry thought—adrenaline jab—but nah, unlikely help. Even night pharmacy/hospital break-in find, no 10yo dose—heart attack death at ten Darwin Award.
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: patreon.com/Granulan