Monday morning.
Vex didn't go to work.
Didn't go to college.
Didn't leave his room.
Just. Stayed in bed.
Staring at the ceiling.
That scream. Still there. In his head. Wouldn't leave.
Every time he closed his eyes. There it was.
Muffled. Terrified. Pain.
He'd done that. He'd caused that.
No. Wait. He didn't cause it. He just. Delivered.
But wasn't that the same thing?
If you hand someone a knife and they stab someone. Are you guilty?
Yeah. Probably.
Accessory. That's the word.
Vex was an accessory to. What? Torture? Murder?
He didn't know. Didn't want to know.
But he couldn't stop thinking about it.
Someone knocked on his door.
"Vex? You okay?" Mom's voice.
He didn't answer.
"Vex. I know you're in there. Are you sick?"
"Yeah," he said. Voice rough. Hadn't used it since last night. "Stomach thing. I'm fine."
"Do you need medicine?"
"No. Just. Need to sleep it off."
Silence. Then footsteps walking away.
Vex closed his eyes.
That scream.
Fuck.
He grabbed his phone. Regular one. Seventeen missed calls. Mostly Kairo. Few from Tobi. One from an unknown number.
Messages too. Didn't read them. Couldn't deal with it.
Put the phone face down.
The burner was in his nightstand. Hadn't looked at it since last night.
Didn't want to.
But. Had to check eventually.
Pulled it out.
One message: "Good work last night. Expect more jobs like that soon."
More jobs like that.
More people.
More screams.
Vex's stomach turned. Actually turned. He sat up. Ran to the bathroom.
Made it just in time. Threw up. Nothing in his stomach really. Just bile. Burned his throat.
He stayed there. Kneeling in front of the toilet. Breathing hard.
Couldn't do this. Couldn't keep doing this.
But what choice did he have?
None. Same as always.
Someone pounded on the front door.
Loud. Aggressive.
Vex got up. Wiped his mouth. Walked to the living room.
Mom was already at the door. Opening it.
Kairo pushed past her. "Where is he?"
"Excuse me?" Mom said. Angry now.
"Vex. Where's Vex?"
"He's sick. He's sleeping."
"Bullshit."
Kairo saw Vex. Standing in the hallway.
"You," he said. Walked over. Fast. "Where the hell have you been?"
"Sick," Vex said.
"Don't lie to me. I've been calling you for two days. Two days, Vex."
Wait. Two days?
Vex looked at his mom. "What day is it?"
She frowned. "Tuesday."
Tuesday.
He'd lost a whole day. Monday was. Gone. He didn't remember Monday.
Just. Laying in bed. Staring.
"Vex?" Mom stepped closer. "Are you okay? You don't look good."
He looked down at himself. Still in the same clothes from Sunday night.
Hadn't showered. Hadn't eaten.
"I'm fine."
"You're not fine," Kairo said. "Look at you. When's the last time you ate? Slept? Showered?"
Vex didn't answer.
Mom put her hand on his forehead. "You don't have a fever. But you look. Terrible."
"I'm fine."
"Stop saying that!" Kairo's voice was loud now. Angry. "You're not fine. You haven't been fine for weeks. And I'm done pretending to believe you."
Mom looked at Kairo. Then at Vex. "What's he talking about?"
"Nothing."
"Vex—"
"Nothing!" Louder than he meant.
Everyone went quiet.
Vex breathed. In. Out. Tried to calm down.
"I'm just stressed. That's all. College. Money. Everything. I'm just. Stressed."
Mom stared at him. That look. The one that saw everything.
"Okay," she said. Didn't believe him. "I have to go to work. But we're talking about this later."
She grabbed her purse. Left.
Door closed.
Just Vex and Kairo now.
"Sit," Kairo said.
"I don't—"
"Sit. Down."
Vex sat. Couch. Kairo sat next to him.
"Talk," Kairo said.
"There's nothing to—"
"I swear to God, Vex. If you say nothing one more time."
Vex looked at him. Kairo looked. Really worried. And angry. But mostly worried.
"I can't tell you," Vex said. Quieter.
"Why not?"
"Because if I do. People get hurt."
"People? What people?"
"Everyone. You. Senna. Tobi. My mom. Lira. Everyone."
Kairo's expression changed. "Vex. What did you get into?"
"I can't—"
"Are you in a gang?"
Vex's heart stopped.
How. How did he know?
"I. No. I'm not."
"Don't lie."
"I'm not in a gang."
Technically true. He wasn't in the Crimson Fangs. He just. Worked for them.
"But you're involved with one."
Vex didn't answer.
"Fuck." Kairo ran his hand through his hair. "Fuck. I knew it. I knew something was wrong but I thought. I don't know. Drugs maybe. Or debt. But gangs?"
"Kairo—"
"Which one? Crimson Fangs? Steel Serpents? Who?"
"I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"Because if I do. They'll come after you."
"Let them."
"You don't understand. These people. They don't care. They'll hurt you. Kill you. Just for knowing."
"Then we go to the cops."
"No."
"Vex—"
"No cops. They'll just make it worse."
"How could it possibly be worse?"
Vex laughed. No humor in it. Just. Bitter.
"You have no idea how bad it can get."
Kairo stared at him. "Then tell me. Explain. Because from where I'm sitting, you're destroying yourself and I don't know how to help."
Vex wanted to tell him. Wanted to explain everything.
But that scream. That guy. The blood money.
If he told Kairo. Kairo would try to help. And trying to help would get him killed.
"I can handle it," Vex said.
"Can you? Because you look like you're about to break."
Maybe he was. Maybe he already had.
"I'll be fine."
"Stop lying."
"I'm not—"
"Yes you are!" Kairo stood up. "You're lying to everyone. Your mom. Your sister. Me. Senna. Tobi. Everyone who cares about you. And for what? To protect us? We don't need protecting. We need you to be honest."
"I can't."
"Then I can't help you."
Kairo walked to the door. Stopped. Turned back.
"When you decide to stop being a martyr and actually let people in. Call me. Until then."
He left.
Door closed.
Vex sat there.
Alone.
Again.
Everyone was leaving. One by one.
Senna. Now Kairo.
Soon. Everyone would be gone.
And maybe that was better. Safer for them.
His phone buzzed. Burner.
Message: "Tonight. 11 PM. Same corner as before. Standard delivery."
Standard delivery. Packages.
Not people. Just packages.
Relief. Then guilt for feeling relief.
What was wrong with him?
Vex put the phone down.
Looked at the apartment. Empty. Quiet.
He should shower. Eat. Do something.
But he just sat there.
Staring at nothing.
That scream still echoing.
Always echoing.
Hours passed. Sun moved across the sky.
Lira came home around 4. Saw him on the couch.
"You okay?" she asked.
"Sick."
"You look it." She dropped her backpack. Sat next to him. "Kairo called me. Said you're not doing good."
Great. Now Kairo was talking to his sister.
"I'm fine."
"Vex." She turned to face him. "Something's wrong. I know it. Mom knows it. Everyone knows it. Why won't you tell us?"
Because if I do you'll get hurt.
"It's nothing. Just stress."
"Is it money? Because I can work more hours. Or—"
"No. Lira. No. You're not working more. You need to focus on school."
"But if we need—"
"We're fine. I'm handling it."
She looked at him. Really looked. Then her eyes got wet.
"I'm scared," she said. Quiet.
"Of what?"
"Of losing you."
His chest hurt.
"You're not losing me."
"It feels like I am. You're here but. You're not here. You know? It's like. You're disappearing."
She wasn't wrong.
He was disappearing. Into this. Into the debt. Into the lies.
Soon there'd be nothing left of who he used to be.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Don't be sorry. Just. Talk to me. Please."
He wanted to. God he wanted to.
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm trying to protect you."
"From what?"
"From everything."
She grabbed his hand. Held it tight.
"I don't need protecting. I need my brother."
Vex looked at her. Sixteen years old. Still a kid. But not really. Not anymore. Life in Ashward grew you up fast.
"I'm right here," he said.
"Are you?"
No. Not really. But he couldn't say that.
"Yeah. I'm here."
She hugged him. Tight. He hugged her back. For a minute. Just a minute.
He felt. Human again.
Not a delivery boy. Not a criminal. Not an accomplice.
Just. A brother.
She pulled back. "Promise me you'll be okay."
He couldn't promise that. Didn't know if he would be.
But he nodded anyway.
"Promise."
Another lie.
She went to her room.
Vex sat there.
His phone buzzed. Regular one.
Text from unknown number: "This is Senna. New number. Don't call me. Just. Be safe."
So she still cared. Even after everything.
He typed: "You too."
Sent it.
Put the phone down.
10:47 PM.
Thirteen minutes.
Time to go.
Time to put on the mask. Pretend everything was normal.
Deliver packages. Make money. Pay off debt.
One delivery at a time.
Vex stood up. Got his jacket.
Walked to the door.
Stopped.
Looked back at the apartment.
His home. His family.
Everything he was doing this for.
Everything he was destroying himself to protect.
Was it worth it?
He didn't know anymore.
But he couldn't stop.
Couldn't quit.
Couldn't run.
So he'd keep going.
Until the debt was paid.
Or until he broke completely.
Whichever came first.
Vex opened the door.
Stepped out.
Into the night.
Into the lie.
Into the darkness.
Again.