"Did the kids leave yet?"
"…."
"Man, did the kids go already?"
"Yeah. They're gone. Open your damn eyes this is on you, being so loud."
"You get over here. If the kid comes out again"
The game room.
Dee's room.
Or the slaughterhouse.
"I heard everything. Bringing toys home to mess with the kid, coming back late drunk like a stray dog and you still have the nerve to yell at me, the one who stays home every day. Drunk and sleeping naked, not even ashamed in front of the kids. And then you dare mess with my kid again. You looking for trouble?"
"What the hell is wrong with you, dragging me in here just to ask that? I'm drunk. I want to sleep!"
Man bared his teeth at his sworn enemy who had somehow been promoted to legal spouse.
He swept everything off the gaming desk into a messy pile laptop, keyboard, accessories stacked precariously at the edge then dropped down onto the desk, one knee raised.
Deliberate. Provoking.
He knew exactly how much this gamer hated anyone touching his precious setup.
The kids' father stared at the drunk, eyes darkening.
Something low in his body twitched, an itch he knew too well.
He stepped closer, locking eyes with the one who had planted a foot on his beloved desk forgetting, for a moment, that this was an ex-thug who'd started fights for far less than this kind of provocation.
"Don't mess with my kid, you drunk bastard."
"I'll mess with my kid all I want. What are you gonna do about it?"
Man reached out and grabbed him hard between the legs, squeezing without mercy.
But the big guy didn't even flinch he leaned in instead, grinding forward shamelessly, thrusting into the grip like he was offering it up.
Just a touch, and it was already hard.
Was that a cock, or a damn pestle?
S
Solid as hell.
"Want to get hurt, huh? Grabbing my dick like that… you want it, don't you?"
"As if I'm scared of you dying, you fucked-up Dee."
"Yeah, I'll come for sure right inside you."
Grab
"Dee! You asshole!"
"I just opened the fridge and found this too. Next time I'll shove it up your ass so you won't dare mess with my kid again. Choose. Either I fuck you, or you fuck this thing for me to watch that's your punishment for messing with Wan, my precious son."
"What kind of bullshit charge is that?! Let go! If I'm fucking something, I'd rather take the carrot than your freaky dick, you bastard."
Man squinted at the orange thing in his husband's hand as it tapped against his lips.
The hardness there dragged his thoughts back to the days they'd nearly beaten each other to death who would've thought a stupid scouting camp would end with a scout knocked up before graduation?
Riiip
Man's black underwear was hooked off his hips.
Instead of being tossed aside, it was clenched between teeth, hanging loose and swaying.
Rough hands pressed into the bend of his knees, forcing his legs wide against the gaming desk.
His slit was fully exposed, flushed red and twitching right in front of a shameless father who'd momentarily forgotten just how dangerous his spouse could be.
Man reached out, snatched the carrot from Dee's hand, and used the tip to hook down the elastic waistband of his husband's pants, prying free the thick shaft straining for air.
Thump.
A heavy, oddly altered piece of flesh different from ordinary men thanks to reckless boredom.
Beads embedded along the length like a twisted spiral.
Man might complain, but his half-lidded eyes were glued to the oversized thing pushing into a hole until the tip scraped raw.
Then he glanced down at his own clean, pale carrot never having conquered any holes, only ever touched by hands and tongues and felt a sting of pity.
Two lengths throbbed side by side, hard and unyielding.
His was just right not too big, not too small, pale with a rosy hue, looking almost unused.
His was darker, longer, thicker. The head swollen, the shaft studded with rounded beads spiraling down unnatural and unsettling.
"What the hell did you do to your dick?"
"Got the beads implanted months ago. Cool, right?"
"Cool my ass. It looks fucked up."
"Wanna ride it? Bet you'll be leaking in seconds."
"Go jerk off."
"Why would I? I'm legally married, you know. I could fuck you to death and no one would say a thing. Been there, done that."
"Marriage isn't a condom what the hell are you bringing it up for? You're not a bull, you're a damn buffalo, Thongdee."
"I can fuck legally."
"I'm fucking my orange husband."
"Damn. Your slutty face looks even stranger than my pestle. It's fine I'm not jealous. I'll just sit here and watch. Go on. Stroke it. Taste it. Right here."
Scrrrape
He dragged a gaming chair over and dropped into it, settling himself right between his thug of a spouse's legs.
He propped his feet up on the armrests, front-row seat, so close he could feel his breath brushing over the tip of his spouse's smaller cock.
"You're damn skilled. Know every angle, every trick. All those stick-shaped vegetables you keep buying you secretly use them for shit like this, don't you? If you're horny, just say it. I might be busy, but I can always swing by for a ride."
"Shit shut up. I'm sensitive. I'd rather slide the carrot in at an angle than let your damn pestle stretch me that wide."
"Animal. Thrusting your hips, fucking a vegetable right in front of me… Makes me wanna lick so bad."
"Pay up. Or you don't get to lick."
"Heh~ greedy little bastard. My money comes in tomorrow will that do?"
Dee grabbed a charging cable from nearby and bound Man's legs wide open against the gaming desk.
Long legs folded and spread, pinned apart.
The carrot was driven back into the slick groove now genuinely wet, glistening under the light.
"Uuuh!"
"Why'd you stop? Thrust faster. Is it really that good getting fucked by something that isn't your husband's?"
Dee grabbed Man's flat chest, fingers kneading, then pinched at his small nipples while bending down to watch that needy slit being rammed again and again, thap thap thap.
He spread the flesh apart and dragged his tongue left and right, licking it slick.
Man hooked one leg over Dee's broad shoulder, rocking his hips down onto that long tongue while pumping the carrot back into his tight groove, drunk on the sensation.
Slap slap slap slap slap
"Oooh how much you paying? Ahh so good ah ah haa"
"Thousand for the juice."
Smack smack smack smack
Dee sucked and licked along that narrow seam, eyes fixed on his spouse writhing and bucking, hips snapping back to meet each rapid thrust.
"Ah ah unngh, my hole so good fuck, it's soaked."
"Man. I'm gonna put a baby in you. I want my mom's condo in Pattaya. She said she'll only sign it over if there's another kid."
"What the hell did you just say ah Dee, what are you doing? Why're you rubbing your cock on my hole?"
"I'm fucking you too. If you won't let me, I'll take it anyway I'm seeing red."
"Uuuh don't shove it in ah shit, pull the carrot out first!"
"I'll do them both. Wanna see who fucks you better."
"Asshole! Fine then you're doing the housework too."
"Okay~"
"You even know what I'm gonna make you do?"
"If you let me fuck you, I'll help with the kids more. I'll cook, wash dishes, mop, do laundry, wash the car more often. Not all the time though I've still got games to play."
"Why are you giving in so easily?"
"' Cause I wanna fuck. I'm too lazy to go screw someone else our kid hates that. You're the same. The day you sleep with someone else, our oldest'll disown both of us."
"Who'd do that anyway? Young master Wan's scary as hell."
"Deal."
"My hole's gonna tear, you fuck!"
"Think of it like getting fucked by the legal husband and the side piece at the same time. You like it, don't you? Look at that carrot so horny it's making me hard too."
"Don't bullshit me. You're the one who brought the carrot, and you dragged me into this room yourself. You wanna fuck but still act coy, you idiot. Gonna take the long way around the world or what?"
"So what do you want me to do? One nod and you'd follow me anywhere. Shit tight. Your hole's sucking me in like crazy, Man. You're huge how's your hole this slutty? Hup!"
"Ugh ohhh fuck so tight… it's all the way in my gut!"
Man pressed a hand to his own belly, filled to the hilt, feeling like that freakish thing was about to punch through his stomach and turn this into a horror show.
Dee grabbed the white snake tight, holding himself back from coming, eyes locked on the burning hole stretched wide, swallowing two thick shafts at once. The harder one rammed in fast and fierce, making the big body bounce like riding a bucking beast.
"Taking two big ones like that damn impressive."
"You're thrusting too fast I'm gonna lose it unngh!"
"Squeeze your tits for me. Do it I'll watch. My hands are busy."
"Shit fucking this fast are you in a hurry or what?!"
"I'm just.."
"Ahhh fuck so good damn it those beads scrape so deep!"
"You like it when I grind, right? I'll lift you up."
"Do whatever you want, asshole!"
"Heh bitch in heat."
"Ah enough pull it out pull the carrot out fuck, it's smashing my prostate my stomach hurts unngh so deep I'm gonna die ah ah aaaah!"
Man spasmed, chest arched, head thrown back, eyes blown wide as he screamed.
That dangerous, massive shaft thickened even more by the pearl beads spiraling from head to base scraped and churned the soft walls inside with every push and pull.
The bright orange carrot was driven deep too, nearly disappearing to the grip.
His pale, solid chest was slick with sweat, gleaming yet the one who'd been complaining the loudest licked it anyway, from throat to quivering peak.
Man's legs trembled, torn between fleeing and riding it harder. Dee's club had been huge since they were in school every time they'd pissed side by side it'd sparked a rivalry. Who would've thought he'd end up shoving it up his own ass like this.
Man's mouth hung open, spit stringing and dripping onto Dee's tight abs, six-pack ridges begging to be touched.
He clawed at that sculpted stomach, staring into a lewdly handsome face boring into him, while inside he cried nonstop legs spread wide, greedily taking that big shaft into his shameless hole, driven until his eyes rolled back.
It felt indescribably good.
Dee yanked the carrot out with a sharp pull, the narrow groove gaping and hollow for a moment.
He eyed the orange stick slick and shining, soaked from being wedged inside his drunken spouse, lips curling as he licked them, gaze hungry.
Man's body was obscene arms thrown back, head tipped up, panting hard, heart pounding so loud it felt like it burst from his chest.
"So gooey~"
Dee dragged Man down to straddle his lap on the gaming chair, smacked one hand against that firm, smooth ass, then kneaded the dripping hole open.
With the hot, swollen, slick head, he rammed his own shaft back in again.
Eyes blazing, he glanced at the carrot pulled free and grab bit down on it, chewing hard, disappearing almost halfway.
Crunch crunch
"What the fuck are you eating it for, you dickhead ah ah ohhh too much I'm stuffed your thing's pushing into my guts aaaah!"
"You know the more kids we have, the richer we get. Your parents and mine are signing so much stuff over to our three brats. Our job's to pump out kids and help the family businesses this is peak filial piety."
"You've never been smart. Why're you so sharp about shit like this?"
"Stop whining. Just moan for me that's enough~"
Thud!
"Uuuuhhhh!!"