she made my coffee right.
three sugars.
just like i liked it
before you.
she kissed me with lips
that used to silence my rage.
but now i only feel
the silence.
she asked me
what song i'm humming.
i said
i didn't know.
but i knew.
it was Jet.
your favorite fucking band.
again.
she bought tickets
to a play i said i liked.
but all i could think about
was the time you laughed so loud
at Friends series
because i was too busy
watching you.
she wore red.
she smiled.
she looked like love.
but love—
love smelled like vanilla and cigarettes,
sounded like Bon Iver
on a rainy drive,
tasted like cheap ramen at 3 a.m.
with you.
i tried to love her like i used to.
i swear to god i did.
but every time she says
"i love you"
i hear your silence
echo louder than her voice.