The next day, I woke up at 6 a.m. I eat something I found in the kitchen, wash up, and wear an oversized long-sleeve tee, sweatpants, sneakers, and a beanie. All are in shades of yellow.
I have no choice; all my clothes in the wardrobe are in shades of yellow except for uniforms. I forgot why I even like yellow at this age.
I note to myself that I have to change my wardrobe and buy some clothes in muted colors.
I grab the cream-colored backpack and light yellow flask.
Before opening the door, I put on a face mask. Although Star says it helps me suppress the debuff of the blessing, I'm not used to showing my face in public. Plus, it becomes an instinct, a habit that ingrained in me.
After locking the house, I unlock the mango-colored bicycle and take it outside the gate. After locking the gate, I climb onto the bicycle and start pedaling.
Today, I plan to go to the rental studio where I usually go whenever I need to practice something that requires a large mirror to see my movements.
Our house doesn't have mirrors, and no one actually bothers to put one up because it only irritates us whenever we see our own faces. But we don't have anything against mirrors. We can actually stand in front of one without smashing it into pieces.
After pedaling for a long time, I hit the brakes and stop. My heart is beating fast, I'm breathless, and my entire legs are numb.
"Did I bike for an hour?"
[ No, 10 minutes. ]
"What?!" I gasp. "I'm so breathless and already out of energy, and I only pedaled for 10 minutes? Has my body become so useless?"
It's supposed to be a joke, but—
[ Yes. Besides weakened endurance and physical ability, your body is now prone to minor illnesses. ]
"Seriously?" My mouth parts.
[ Seriously. ]
"If a bad guy approached me right now, do you think I could fight them one-on-one like I used to?"
[ No. You're basically a weak chicken right now. ]
"Chickens are quite formidable, though," I whisper weakly.
[ And your point? ]
I groan. "Oh, please don't sass me. Your character development is too fast; we're only in chapter 3. Calm down."
[ Host, please have some self-restraint. ]
"Ugh… whatever." I release a frustrated sigh. "I think I was supposed to go somewhere, but now I'm stuck here in some unknown place. Where the heck even am I?"
I look around. I only then realize that there are a few people where I am. I see the establishments on the side that are open. I see a group of girls in the distance; their bodies are facing my direction, so they're definitely going to pass by where I am.
Should I ask for directions?
Ugh, but they're talking to each other. I think it's rude to suddenly interrupt their conversation. Plus, they're talking so excitedly. I don't want to break that.
I lower my head and instinctively hunch my back, wanting to blend into the background.
Maybe I'll ask the next people who pass by.
Oh, oh, oh! They're coming.
I'm a statue. I'm a stone. They can't see me, and I can't see them. I habitually repeat this thought in my mind. When they silently pass by, my tense shoulders relax, and I let out a soft sigh.
[ Weirdo. ]
"The audacity to say that to me!" I whisper.
[ Um, Host. Actually, you can talk to me mentally. Let's avoid being misunderstood as abnormal—it wouldn't be good for your image. ]
"Image my ass. You didn't tell me we could talk using my mind! I've been talking to you aloud the whole time. Wait," I pause, then immediately sigh in relief when I realize that I only talked aloud inside the house. Then, I softly complain, "You almost made me look like someone with a mental disorder."
[ Host, look to your left. ]
I immediately turn my head to the left, unease rising, only to see two tall figures walking out of the building wearing face masks.
My body tenses, and I prepare to run.
[ Host, they are wearing practice clothes. You can check that building. ]
"Why?"
[ Aren't you going to practice? ]
Oh, right. I forgot about that.
I wait for the two tall figures to walk far ahead. When they turn into an alley and disappear from my sight, I bravely march toward the building like a soldier ready for a danger that might sneak up on me.
I carefully open the sliding door and peek inside. When my eyes meet another pair of eyes behind the counter, I jolt like a cat terrified.
I calm myself.
First, I see the name of this establishment: "E.T.'s Studios", hung above, and below it is a price list.
100 for 1-hour rent.
That's the only thing I've seen, but I already recognize that this establishment is definitely a rental for practice rooms.
After realizing it's not some illegal club inside, I confidently slide the door open and stride to the counter.
"Hello, welcome to E.T.'s Studio," an enthusiastic female voice greets me.
"Hello." I greet back and say without hesitation, "I want to rent a room for 10 hours." I put the 1,000-paper bill on the counter.
She pauses, then taps on the keyboard. After a soft ding, she puts a small card in front of me and takes my bill.
"Please approach me here to freeze your remaining hours if you have to leave before your time ends."
"Mm, thank you."
"Your room is on the second floor. The stairs are in that direction."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome!"
After bowing my head slightly, I walk toward the stairs she pointed to. When I reach the second floor, I look at the numbers on the closed doors.
206. 206.
After a few steps, I finally manage to find my room. I look at the scanner beside the door, then at the card in my hand, and put it on the scanner.
After a beep, the door unlocks. I push the door open and get inside.
I remove my face mask and start tying my hair.
When my whole body reflects in the wall-size mirror, I immediately notice something.
"Did my eyes also get damaged because of that?" My head tilts, observing my face reflected in the mirror. "Even though I'm not fond of looking at my reflection, I clearly remember that I could see my face."
Not like now. In my eyes, my face is blurred, almost blank. I suddenly remembered an anime movie that I watched in my last life.
My situation is kinda similar to the dude's situation in a certain scene. Dude doesn't have prosopagnosia, his situation was caused by psychological and emotional struggles.
[ Yes, Host. You currently have mild prosopagnosia, and since it's not innate, it's not difficult to cure. ]
I nod, finally understanding why everyone's face looks so blurry to me. I thought I had become nearsighted—turns out it's because I've become face-blinded.
After that small episode, I put my bag and flask aside.
Taking out my ballet shoes, I put them on. Standing, I tap my feet on the floor to adjust the shoes and familiarize myself with how they feel.
I plan to practice and familiarize this body with ballet for now, the dance I'm familiar with. When my body becomes flexible, has enough endurance, and can handle other types of dance, I plan to start practicing idol dances.
First, I do a warm-up: neck rolls, shoulder rolls, arm circles, torso twists, and a light march. Then I do ankle rolls, calf raises, gentle pliés, and leg swings for lower-body activation.
After that, I do light stretches: hamstring stretch, butterfly stretch, and side stretches.
I do pliés, bending my knees while keeping my heels on the floor. They're used to prepare for jumps and turns. Then I do relevés, rising onto the balls of my feet.
I go out of balance and almost fall headfirst, but thanks to my fast reflexes, I immediately put my hands in front of me. They cushion the impact and save my face.
My face is inches from the floor. I thought I'm safe, but my arms tremble and betray me.
To save my nose, I turn my face and let my cheek have a kiss on the floor.
I remain lying on the floor like that.
Dying to restart anew… I don't regret that.
The only thing I regret is doing it without giving the system a heads-up.
Now, I have to endure this weak body to do strenuous activities so I can debut. But my suffering will definitely end eventually, because I've heard idols almost have no personal or rest time. They become spinning tops due to their busy schedules.
Thinking that I have to practice until I collapse on the ground in the future, I wish I could turn back time to discuss things before I start.
[ You okay? ]
I have no energy to answer.
[ You know, you can back out anytime. You don't have to do the mission. I'm not forcing you. ]
"Yes, yes, of course. You're not forcing me." I roll my eyes as I push myself up. "If I back out, then what am I going to do? Watch my lifespan decrease until it reaches the point where I'm about to die?"
"There are so many possible upgrade directions. Why do you have to choose to become a Stardom System?"
[ FYI, if it weren't for you suddenly jumping and flying into the ocean, I wouldn't have been forced to upgrade. In addition, based on my core program calculations, this is the most suitable path to fulfill your wish. ]
"To reveal this magical face and possibly have perverted fans who might try to kidnap me anytime?" I say sarcastically.
[ As I said, Host, I will help you suppress the debuff of your blessing. Besides, to achieve what one wishes for, one must be ready to pay some price, right? ]
"Yeah," I softly agree. "Sorry for my rudeness and lashing out."
[ No problem, Host. I understand your situation. ]
"Thanks."
"Just a warning, though—some symptoms of my illness are quite unpleasant and irrational," I give it a heads-up. "And my personality changes are quite annoying, I tell you."
I sigh heavily and cover my face with my hands. "Gosh, this is so embarrassing. Why do I have to be aware of all the symptoms happening to me and be sober at the same time? It's like I'm watching another me, with a completely opposite personality, doing things I could never do. It's cringe, you know."
[ Like now? ]
I freeze, suddenly conscious of what I just did.
Spilling out all my thoughts without care like that… it's definitely not because of my illness.
I pretend I didn't hear it and instead get back on my feet, starting all the ballet routines I used to practice.
I quickly get into the zone, and whenever I'm in it, I didn't notice how quickly time passes around me. It's as if I'm in a special space where time itself is frozen.
I don't know how many times I fall because of balance problems. I don't know how many times I stop to catch my breath. I don't know how many times I collapse to the floor because my body gives up. And I don't know how many times I push myself up to continue practicing.
I can feel my limbs trembling, my body aching, my heart pounding so loudly, and my lungs constantly craving oxygen.
But I don't care about my physical decline. In my mind, all I think is:
So this is what they call giving their all to achieve their dreams.
If this is a small part of the price I have to pay, I can do it. As for the other parts, I will do it.