Caspian's POV
The pain hit me halfway across campus.
I doubled over, grabbing my chest. It felt like someone had reached inside my ribs and was squeezing my heart with a fist made of broken glass. I couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. Could barely stand.
"Caspian?" Marcus grabbed my arm. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
I wasn't okay. I was dying. Or at least it felt like I was.
This was the mate bond. Punishing me. Making me feel every bit of pain I'd caused her.
"Fine," I managed to gasp. "Just... give me a minute."
The pain didn't stop. It got worse. Sharp and hot and constant. And underneath it, my wolf was going absolutely insane.
GO BACK! GO BACK TO HER! FIX THIS!
He was clawing at my insides. Literally clawing. I could feel him trying to take control, trying to force me to shift and run back to the assembly hall. Back to her.
I gritted my teeth and fought him down. "No. We made the right choice."
RIGHT CHOICE? YOU DESTROYED US!
The pain spiked again. I actually fell to my knees this time. Students walking past stared at me. Some looked worried. Most just looked confused.
Marcus crouched next to me. "This is the bond, isn't it? It's hurting you because you rejected her."
I nodded. Couldn't speak. The pain was too bad.
"Maybe you should—"
"Don't." I forced the word out. "Don't say I should take it back. I can't. She's human. It would never work."
But even as I said it, I saw her face in my mind. The way she'd looked at me when the bond first snapped into place. Like I was everything. Like I was her whole world.
And then the way she'd looked after I rejected her. Destroyed. Broken.
The pain got worse. I didn't think that was possible, but it did.
Marcus helped me stand. "Come on. Let's get you back to your room before you pass out."
We made it to my dorm somehow. Marcus practically carried me the last hundred feet. He dumped me on my bed and I curled up, hugging my chest.
"Is it always going to hurt like this?" I whispered.
"I don't know," Marcus said honestly. "Nobody in our pack has ever rejected their mate before. You're kind of in new territory here."
Great. Just great.
My phone rang. Mom. Of course.
I answered it because ignoring her would only make things worse.
"Caspian!" Her voice was bright. Happy. "I heard about the assembly. Darling, I'm so proud of you!"
I closed my eyes. The pain in my chest throbbed in time with my heartbeat.
"Thanks, Mom."
"You made the correct choice. A human mate would have been absolutely unacceptable. Can you imagine? The shame it would have brought to our family? The Ravencourt line has standards to maintain."
Every word she said made me feel sicker.
"She seemed nice," I said quietly. I don't know why I said it. Maybe because my wolf was still screaming at me. Maybe because the pain was making me delirious.
"Nice?" Mom's voice went sharp. "Caspian, nice doesn't matter. You need a mate who can produce strong heirs. Someone with good bloodlines. Someone the pack will respect."
"Right," I mumbled.
"Your father and I have already been talking to the Nightshade pack. Their daughter Astrid would be perfect for you. Beautiful, strong, excellent fighter. We'll arrange a meeting next month."
My wolf snarled.
NOT OUR MATE. NEVER OUR MATE.
"Sure, Mom. Whatever you think is best."
She talked for another ten minutes about bloodlines and pack politics and duty. I barely heard her. All I could think about was Iris's face.
When Mom finally hung up, I dropped the phone and pressed my hands against my eyes.
"You okay?" Marcus asked.
"No." I sat up slowly. The pain had faded to a dull ache. Still there. Still constant. But at least I could move now. "I need some air."
I walked outside. It was getting dark. Students were heading to dinner. I should go too. Eat. Act normal. Pretend everything was fine.
But my feet carried me somewhere else. Across campus. To the freshman dorms.
I stood in the shadows between two buildings. Looking up at the windows.
I didn't know which room was hers. But I stood there anyway. Watching. Waiting.
What are you doing? I asked myself.
This is pathetic.
But I couldn't make myself leave.
Then a light turned on. Third floor. Second window from the left.
My wolf stirred.
Her. That's her.
I didn't question how he knew. He just did. The mate bond might be broken, but some part of it was still there. Still connecting us.
A shadow moved past the window. Her. Iris.
Was she crying? Was she okay? Had she eaten dinner?
The questions hit me like punches. I had no right to care. I'd given up that right when I rejected her.
But I did care. I cared so much it hurt worse than the physical pain.
Another shadow joined her at the window. Another girl. They seemed to be talking. The other girl hugged Iris.
Good. She had someone. She wasn't alone.
I watched for another hour. Just standing there in the dark like some kind of creep. The light in her window finally went out.
I should leave. Go back to my dorm. Get some sleep. Tomorrow would be better. The pain would fade. I'd forget about her.
But I knew I was lying to myself.
I'd never forget her. Not her face. Not the way the bond felt when it first clicked into place. Not the way I'd destroyed it three heartbeats later.
My wolf spoke for the first time in hours. His voice was quiet. Broken.
You destroyed something irreplaceable.
"I know," I whispered into the darkness.
And you can never get it back.
"I know."
I turned to leave. Finally. But then I heard something that made me freeze.
Crying. Soft but clear in the quiet night.
Coming from her window.
She was still crying. Hours later. Because of me.
The pain in my chest exploded. Worse than before. So bad I actually gasped out loud.
This wasn't just the mate bond punishing me. This was guilt. Real, crushing, terrible guilt.
I'd hurt her. Badly. On purpose. In front of everyone.
And she was up there crying because of it.
Fix this, my wolf begged.
Please. Go to her. Apologize. Take it back. We can still fix this.
But I couldn't. My parents would disown me. The pack would never accept her. She'd be in danger every single day.
I was protecting her. This was the right thing to do.
Wasn't it?
I stood there listening to her cry for ten more minutes. Each sob felt like a knife in my heart.
When the crying finally stopped, I walked away. Back to my dorm. Back to my perfect life.
But nothing felt perfect anymore.
And as I climbed into bed that night, one thought kept circling through my mind.
What if I'd just made the biggest mistake of my entire life?
What if rejecting her wasn't protecting her at all?
What if I'd just destroyed the only thing that could have ever made me
truly happy?
And the worst part?
I already knew the answer.