"Darling, you're home," Lovelyn said as she hugged her wife, not minding the scattered groceries on the ground.
The hug was warm, a familiar king. Charlie's body reacted before her mind could catch up, her arms lifting slightly, hovering in the air as if unsure where they belonged. For a brief second, she stood there stiff, the smell of groceries and soap filling her nose, her heart thudding loud enough that she wondered if Lovelyn could hear it. Her mind raced faster than her breath.
Charlie did not know what to do. Should she ask about her whereabouts, or ask the question straight out, are you cheating on me? The words burned at the back of her throat, sharp and ready, but she swallowed them down. She stayed quiet. Silence felt safer, even though it hurt more. For a moment, she swallowed all her questions and wrapped her arms around her.
"Yes, baby, I am home."
Her voice sounded normal to her ears, but inside, everything was shaking. She held Lovelyn just a little tighter than usual, like she was afraid she might disappear if she loosened her grip.
After they both picked up the groceries, Charlie helped her carry the bags and walked toward their apartment door. Her fingers brushed against Lovelyn's hand once, and the contact sent a small jolt through her chest. She wondered if Lovelyn felt it too or if it meant nothing at all.
"You were out?" Charlie asked.
The question slipped out carefully, casual on the surface. She tried to sound uninterested, like this was just another normal evening.
"Yes, darling. We were out of veggies, so I went to get them."
"Oh."
That was all Charlie managed. One small sound. She nodded as if that explanation made sense, as if her chest was not tightening with every step.
Charlie put in the apartment pin and the door opened, making a welcome home sound. They installed it a year ago so whoever was inside would know someone had arrived. The sound echoed through the apartment, bright and cheerful, completely unaware of the tension walking through the doorway.
"Mummy, Mama."
Both twins rushed toward them the moment they heard the sound. Their feet pounded lightly against the floor, laughter bubbling out of them as they ran. They always knew when their parents were back. Love and Bluey were identical twins. They might look the same, but one could easily tell them apart. Love wore glasses and kept his brown hair neatly cut, while Bluey did not wear glasses and styled his brown hair in a high taper with a textured fringe.
Charlie bent down to hug both kids, kissing their cheeks, holding them close for a second longer than usual. She breathed them in, grounding herself in their warmth. Lovelyn took the groceries back from Charlie and headed quickly to the kitchen without saying much.
"I will go make dinner," she said.
Charlie watched her walk away, watched the familiar movement of her shoulders, the sway of her steps. Everything looked the same. That scared her more than if something had been different.
"How long have you two been alone?" Charlie asked the kids.
"No, we are not alone. Uncle Charles is here too," Bluey said.
The words hit her harder than she expected.
"He is here?"
Charlie straightened slowly and walked toward the living room. There, sprawled comfortably on the couch, was Charles, her younger brother, eating popcorn and watching a movie like he is the owner the place.
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
He did not even look away from the screen. "Can't you see? Babysitting."
"Babysitting, or are you busy on my couch eating my popcorn?"
Charlie reached out and took the popcorn from him without asking.
"Hey, that's my popcorn. Give it back."
"I think it's time for you to go home. Bye bye."
"No. Big sister said I can stay as long as I want, and she promised to give me..."
Charles refused to get up from the chair. Despite being 23, he was a big pain in the neck. He always had been. He was even more trouble than their youngest sibling, who was still in highschool. Normally, Charlie would argue with him, tease him, maybe even laugh. But her mind was somewhere else entirely, replaying images she wished she could forget. Her brother's annoyance was the least of her problems.
"How long has she been gone?" Charlie asked.
She stepped closer, standing directly in front of him, blocking the TV. The kids' voices drifted in faintly from the kitchen where they now stood with Lovelyn.
"Who?" Charles said, leaning sideways, trying to peek around her.
"Lovelyn. What time did she leave?"
"I don't know. She's in the kitchen. Go and ask her," he said, irritation creeping into his voice.
Charlie's jaw tightened. Before she could stop herself, she reached forward and angrily grabbed his collar, pulling him just enough to make him finally look at her.
"Tell me what I asked you, Charles."
His eyes widened. "Big sister, what time did you leave to go get the vegetables?" he called out loudly.
"What are you doing?" Lovelyn asked from the kitchen.
"Asking her for you."
Lovelyn came out from the kitchen wearing an apron and holding a knife. The sight of it made Charlie's stomach twist for reasons she could not explain. Charlie quickly let go of Charle's collar, her hand dropping as she shook her head slightly at him, silently begging him to stop talking.
"What happened, Charlie boy?" Lovelyn asked.
Her tone was light as usual.
"Your wife here is asking what time you left for the grocery store since I don't know. You should help answer her."
"No, I wasn't asking," Charlie said quickly, the words tumbling out too fast. "I only wanted to know how long he has been here. He is always in our house. This is not his house. He should leave."
"But you said you wanted to..."
Charlie kicked him, cutting him off. She turned to Lovelyn before Charles could say another word.
"Let me help you in the kitchen."
In the kitchen, the boys were washing vegetables at the sink. Water splashed lightly as they worked, their small hands focused and serious. Even though they were not tall enough, two small stools were always kept nearby for them to stand on. Charlie watched them for a second, guilt tugging at her chest. She forced herself to look away.
Lovelyn was busy cutting carrots, the steady rhythm of the knife filling the space between them.
"You know how much I love for the kids to eat fresh vegetables, so I drove two hours to every store trying to find fresh carrots."
Charlie stared at the carrots, lined up neatly, bright and clean.
"Carrots are carrots. They don't have to be fresh, you know. The kids won't get sick," Charlie said.
"Have you forgotten when Love got food poisoning? For a whole week he was stooling nonstop, and then Bluey got infected too. They both vomited for weeks. I have to be careful and not get them sick," Lovelyn said with concern.
The concern sounded real. It always had.
"Yeah, I remember. That was when they were 7 months old. I thought I was going to lose them. From that moment, you always spent your time finding fresh vegetables and newly made products, even if it took you hours," Charlie said.
As she spoke, memories flooded in. All those long grocery trips. All those excuses. The times Lovelyn came home late, tired, apologizing. Charlie wondered if she had been seeing other people under the excuse of shopping. She remembered the times she came home early and found Charles babysitting the kids. She had never once thought Lovelyn would be in someone else's arms.
Charlie stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Lovelyn from behind as she cut the carrots. She rested her head on her shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to her neck. Her heart raced as she inhaled deeply, trying to catch any unfamiliar scent, maybe perfume, maybe something that did not belong to their home. There was nothing. Just Lovelyn. Just familiar warmth.
"Darling, what are you doing? The kids are right here," Lovelyn said.
"Can't I kiss you again? I missed you, baby."
"At least wait until after dinner and the kids go to bed. Then we can do whatever you want, darling."
"I can't wait," Charlie said.
The next words came out wrong. Flat. Empty.
"Lovelyn, are you fucking someone else?"