The hospital room faintly smelled of disinfectant and medicine.
I looked blankly at the ceiling, laying motionless beneath the thin white sheets. My injured leg suspended and wrap in heavy bandages. The steady beeping of the monitor beside the bed was the only proof that time was going. Six days had passed since the incident. Six long days, hopefully staring at the ward door for him.
He never came.
My phone rested on my chest, my eyes unconsciously shifted to the ceiling, I've memorised every cracks in the ceiling, the nurses footsteps passing the ward. Each time footsteps approached my ward, my heart leaps in joy only to sink again after they fade away.
I smiled bitterly.
He was never coming.
I remembered my father last cruel words before departing, "If you can't dance, what use are you?" He spoke with disdain. I replayed his words endlessy while trying to be optimistic, ' He's my father, he won't leave me,' My hope was met with later regret.
I have always being the perfect daughter, good grades, beauty,intelligence. Being a dancer was never my talents but to please my father, i excelled in it, praised and recognized. Dancing was my dad's only remembrance of mum, the woman I can hardly remember. I trained until my muscles scream, trying to become like her.
My wishes were answered wrongly, he did looked at me with softness which always felt like he was boring into my soul but I didn't mind. I began to chase that softness like a fool for years but genuine praise never came.
My heart tinged with sorrow, the only thing that made my father to look at me was taken away from me by an accident.
" She will be able to work after the surgery but i advise that she should restrain from all strenuous activities. She won't be able to dance," The doctor had said, those
words stung more than the pain in my leg.
"Miss," My trance of thoughts were disturbed by my attending doctor. I was snapped back to reality.
" If you're not able to get a guardian's signature, I'm sorry but we can't do anything. You've recovered and your disharge proceeds is processing, you can leave in the evening," The doctor said, no ceremony, straight to the point.
I sighed understanding what she meant.
"Please give me one more day, I'll get the signature by tomorrow," i looked at her with twinkling hopeful eyes.
She stared at me for two..three seconds before nodding reluctantly. She checked my vitals and monitor before leaving the ward.
After she left, I breathed a sigh of relief enveloped in the silence of the room which was soothing since I've been in the ward for some days.
My fingers trembled as I unlocked my phone instantly led me to phone call, my heart clenched at the ignored and unanswered calls to my father. With shaky breath, i dialed his number and it led me to voice mail coldly requesting me to leave a message. I turned off the phone with heavy heart. My body ached as i tried to stand up, leaning on the bed edges, a nurse who saw me while delivering my food helped me up. I hated seeing pity and sympathy in the eyes of onlookers,it made me look weak and useless than I was.
" I hope you'll do the surgery," She said, patting my hands for reassurance.
I smiled faintly.But didn't respond.
I walked with my crotches and hailed a taxi home.
Home?
It was cold, the servants merely glanced and returned to their assigned tasks, i limped towards the study, it was quiet neat and empty. The fireplace was cold and tidy. A cruel realization hit me; He was not home.
I left and tried calling which only went straight to voicemail. Dozens of unanswered messages stared back at me. I took a deep breathand called his office line, after a few rings, it was picked by a woman, probably his secretary.
" Good afternoon, this is…."
I cut her off
" Where's my father,"
Silence
" Miss Odette, President Brown's not available, he's in a banquet organised by the Shaw Corporation," She replied unrestrainedly
I was silent for a while, my nails dugged into the skin of my hand.
" Thank you," I replied in a quiet tone and turned off the phone.
The thoughts of going back to my dormitory crossed my mind but i quickly evade the thoughts. As much as i hate to go back yo the hospital empty handed, I still prefer my dignity. I don't want to be ridiculed by my haters.
I sat on the roof edge of my college building, stacking a squeezed paper.My eyes were dull and lifeless.
My mind suddenly went to my uncle, the man who is more of a father to me. His family was the people she could call family, their warmth never made me alone.I opened my cousin's chat and hesitated.
My thumbs hovered the keyboard.
'I miss you guys,' I typed
The reply came quickly causing me to chuckle.
'We miss you, we'll bring souvenirs,'
A small smile formed on my lips. For a moment, the weight on my chest eased. I imagined their hearty laughs a little envious.
I continued with my series of questions.
'When are you coming,'
' in the next two weeks,'
My vision blurred, tears slid from my eyes to my cheek and dropped on my face.
' I love you guys,' I typed back and released the phone beside me, I didn't bother checking the reply.
I touched my hurting chest.
"I've made up my mind," I muttered quietly and then jumped off. As I wad descending my heart lightened. " I wished I had never looked my mum, maybe…"
Silence
I felt light and was confused.
' Aren't I dead,"
I opened my eyes to see darkness all over.
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