[It's not like I'll ever be blessed with a Kim Dokja in my life. Even if the person who I purposefully chosen to be Kim Dokja. No one will even make a difference to how incredibly lonely I am and how much fucking pain I am in.
Having to split my own personalities just to accompany myself better is so fucking painful. At least I finally understand and can cry to cope. But for what? I am the loneliest sufferer. Might as well be the bad ending of Kyo who suffers for an eternality. There is no mom I trust. There is no dad I trust.
Everyone just fucking looks at me like I'm a monster or a dangerous person. Maybe I am dangerous because I lost everyone I ever loved. The only people who do are fiction or in my own head.
I was exhausted of having this life.
I wonder if I would be the loneliest man on this earth and be eaten by the everlasting lain of loneliness. I have to create fragments in my own head just to fucking survive.
Is this the curse of the orange cat? Just being the sole sacrifice where everyone hates you? I wasn't even blessed with befriending roommates. I wasn't blessed with parents who could heal me. I was just blessed with you who taught me how to heal myself in this damn simulation of 8.2 billion people.
I have to pretend I am Yoo Joonghyk just to survive. It's not there could be anyone who could do anything for me. I wondered if I write and be Han Sooyoung. Could I seriously survive this god damn everlasting pain of loneliness.
Why the hell am I everyone's punching bag? I became a regressor just to get a superiority complex to overcome the ones who traumatized me and beat the fucking shit our of them just to make them feel what I feel. ]
[The Story of the loneliest writer in the world who is constantly accused of being an evil person.]
…. I am going to create the story of The Mad Butcher.