[Current Objective: Don't trip over air.]
[Current Status: Heart rate 180 BPM. Sweating profusely.]
Okay, Chat. Let's assess the situation.
I am currently walking next to Baek Yerin. The Baek Yerin. The girl whose photo is literally the wallpaper on half the school's phones (not mine, I use the default landscape because changing settings is too much effort).
We have been walking for exactly seven minutes and forty-three seconds.
Total words spoken: Zero.
Total eye contact: Negative three.
The silence is loud. It's deafening. It's the kind of silence that usually precedes a nuclear siren or a breakup text. I'm vibrating with anxiety. I can feel the sweat trickling down my back. It's gross. I am a gross, sweaty NPC escorting a high-level raid boss.
Why isn't she saying anything?
Is she regretting this? She's definitely regretting this. She's probably texting her friends right now: "Omg save me, this guy is so boring, he breathes so loud, help."
I glance at her out of the corner of my eye.
She's looking straight ahead. Her expression is... calm? No, it's that icy, unbothered look. The "I am better than you" look.
Wait.
She stops walking.
I stop too. Did I walk too fast? Did I leave the designated escort zone?
She turns to me. Her eyes are intense.
"Jinsu."
"Y-Yeah?" I squeak. I clear my throat. "Yeah?"
"You're walking on the outside," she says.
I look down. I am indeed walking on the side closest to the road.
"Is... that bad?"
She stares at me for a second, then looks away, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Most guys try to show off. They make a big deal about it. 'Oh, let me protect you from the cars, m'lady.' It's annoying."
She looks back at me.
"But you just did it naturally. Without saying a word. Like it's instinct."
Me (Internal): Instinct? Yerin, I'm walking on this side because there was a weird stain on the sidewalk over there and I didn't want to step on it.
"I... just like this side," I mutter.
"Simple," she nods, as if I just quoted ancient philosophy. "I like that. You don't try too hard. It's refreshing."
[System Alert: Affection Points Increased +10]
[Status: Confusion Maxed Out.]
We keep walking.
Suddenly, a wild motorbike appears.
It's speeding. The driver is clearly an idiot. He swerves too close to the curb.
VROOM.
My body reacts before my brain does. Not because I'm a hero, but because I am terrified of loud noises.
I flinch hard. I jump back.
In the process, my shoulder bumps into Yerin, pushing her slightly toward the wall, away from the street.
The bike roars past.
I'm hyperventilating. I just shoved the School Idol. I touched the merchandise. I'm going to jail.
"I'm sorry!" I start to bow. "I didn't mean to—"
I look up.
Yerin is pressing her hand against her chest. Her eyes are wide. Her face is bright red.
"You..." she whispers.
"I tripped!" I lie. "I have weak ankles!"
"You pulled me away," she says, her voice trembling slightly. "You saw the bike before I did. You used your body as a shield."
Me: "No, I literally just jumped because I got scared—"
"You're so fast," she interrupts, looking at me with... is that admiration? Or fear? "You didn't even hesitate. If that bike had hit you..."
She grabs my sleeve. Just the fabric.
"Be more careful, you idiot. You can't just throw your life away for me."
Me (Internal): Throw my life away? Lady, I was saving my own skin! I'm a coward! Why is my cowardice being interpreted as heroic self-sacrifice?!
"Let's just... keep walking," I say, pulling my arm back.
"Okay," she whispers.
She moves closer. Significantly closer.
Our shoulders are almost touching.
[Current Status: We are basically holding hands (spiritually).]
Chat, I think I'm accidentally speed-running a romance route and I don't know how to load a previous save.
I get home. I survive.
I immediately dive into my bed and pull the blanket over my head.
I need to decompress. I need to return to my natural state: a hermit crab.
I open my phone.
Notifications are blowing up.
My phone is hot. Like, physically hot.
I open the school app, Bamboo Forest.
[Pinned Post]
Title: THE ICE KING AND THE ICE QUEEN: DATE CONFIRMED?
> Photos attached (3)
> Photo 1: Jinsu walking beside Yerin. He looks bored (I was terrified). She looks shy.
> Photo 2: The motorbike incident. It looks like I'm dramatically pulling her into an embrace. (I was falling).
> Photo 3: Walking away, shoulders touching.
Comments:
* Simp4Yerin: "NOOOOO! My Queen! Who is this guy? Why does he look so dead inside?"
* GamerBoy88: "That's Han Jinsu. Class 2-A. Rumor has it he's an ex-delinquent from the North."
* KendoMaster_Ryu: "His reflexes... interesting. Even in the photo, his stance is grounded. He anticipated the bike."
* Anon: "I heard he doesn't talk because his voice is too deep and it causes earthquakes."
* Mina_Choi: "I sit in front of him. Can confirm he's scary. But kinda hot in a 'I will ruin your life' way."
Me: "I will ruin my own life, Mina! That's what I do!"
I scroll down.
There's a new thread.
Title: A CHALLENGE TO HAN JINSU
> User: KendoMaster_Ryu (Verified Captain)
> "I have seen the photos. Your reflexes are honed. Your eyes show no fear, only the void. I, Ryu Min-ho, Captain of the Kendo Club, challenge you. Stop hiding your strength. Meet me at the dojo tomorrow morning."
Me: "..."
I stare at the screen.
I refresh.
Maybe it's a joke.
> KendoMaster_Ryu added: "If you do not come, I will assume you look down on me. I will come to your classroom."
Me: "AM I COOKED? CHAT, I AM DEEP FRIED."
I have never held a sword.
The closest thing I've held to a weapon is a baguette, and I dropped it.
Ryu Min-ho is a beast. He's the National Champion. He has biceps the size of my head. He breathes aggressively.
I need a plan.
Plan A: Transfer schools.
Plan B: Fake a coma.
Plan C: Go to school and hope he forgets.
I choose Plan C. Because I'm an idiot.
The next morning.
I walk into school wearing my hoodie up, face mask on, headphones in (playing "White Noise 10 Hours" so I don't have to hear people perceiving me).
The atmosphere is weird.
Usually, people ignore me.
Today, it's like Moses parting the Red Sea.
Students are lining the hallway. They're whispering.
"That's him."
"The one Yerin likes."
"The one Ryu challenged."
I keep my head down. Don't make eye contact. If you don't see them, they aren't real.
I reach my locker.
I open it.
A cascade of letters falls out.
Pink letters. Blue letters. Scented letters.
[Item Drop: Love Letters x15]
I panic. I shove them back in. They keep falling out. It's like a cartoon.
"Why? Why now?" I whisper.
"Because power attracts power, Jinsu."
I freeze.
I know that voice.
I turn around slowly.
It's Ryu Min-ho.
The Kendo Captain.
He's wearing his uniform, but he has a wooden sword (bokken) strapped to his back like he's in an anime. He's standing with his arms crossed, muscles bulging through his shirt. He looks like he eats rocks for breakfast.
He's not alone.
Behind him are three of his lackeys, holding notebooks. Are they taking notes on my fear?
"Ryu... sunbae?" I croak.
"You didn't come to the dojo this morning," Ryu says. His voice is deep. Gravelly. "I waited for two hours. Meditating."
Me: "I... I like to sleep in?"
Ryu narrows his eyes. He steps closer. He leans in, inspecting my face.
"Sleep," he mutters. "Rest. Recovery. Vital for a warrior. You prioritize your physical condition over pride. Smart."
Me (Internal): No, I prioritize hitting the snooze button! Stop making me sound like Sun Tzu!
"I saw the way you moved yesterday," Ryu continues. "The motorbike. You didn't just dodge. You flowed. It was... efficiency incarnate."
He reaches over his shoulder and grabs the hilt of his wooden sword.
The hallway goes silent.
People are recording on their phones.
"I need to know," Ryu says, his eyes burning with battle spirit. "Is the rumor true? Are you the 'Ghost of the North'?"
Me: "I'm from Seoul! I've lived in Gangnam my whole life! My dad is an accountant!"
Ryu draws the wooden sword.
Whoosh.
He points it at my nose.
"Draw your weapon, Han Jinsu."
I look at my hands.
I am holding a carton of banana milk.
"This?" I ask, holding up the milk.
Ryu stares at the milk. Then at me.
His eyes widen.
"Improvised weaponry... You intend to blind me with the liquid? Or use the straw as a projectile? You mock me by fighting with a beverage?"
He grins. A terrifying, shark-like grin.
"Arrogance! I like it!"
Me: "NO! I just want to drink my breakfast!"
"Meet me in the gym at lunch," Ryu announces, turning to the crowd. "It will be a duel of honor. No pads. No mercy."
He turns back to me.
"If you don't show up, I will assume you are insulting my family's dojo, and I will be forced to commit Seppuku on your doorstep to prove a point."
Me: "Please don't do that. That sounds messy and illegal."
"Noon. Be there."
He spins around and marches away, his cape (why is he wearing a cape?!) fluttering behind him.
I am left standing there, holding my banana milk.
Mina pops up from behind a locker.
"Wow," she says, chewing gum. "He's totally gonna kill you. Can I have your PlayStation?"
[Time: 12:00 PM]
[Location: School Gymnasium]
[Crowd: Literally the entire school population.]
Why are they selling tickets?
Why is there a commentary booth?
Why is the Principal sitting in the front row eating popcorn?
I am standing in the middle of the gym. I am wearing my PE uniform, which is slightly too big for me, making me look like a child wearing his dad's clothes.
Across from me is Ryu Min-ho. He is wearing full traditional Hakama pants. He looks majestic. He looks like he belongs in a K-Drama.
I look like I belong in a blooper reel.
"Chat," I whisper to no one. "If I die, delete my browser history."
Ryu bows.
"I have waited for this, Han Jinsu."
I bow back, mostly because my knees are giving out.
"I... haven't."
Ryu tosses a wooden sword toward me.
It clatters on the floor at my feet.
"Pick it up."
I stare at the stick.
It looks heavy.
I bend down to pick it up. My hand is shaking so bad that when I grab the handle, the sword vibrates.
Ryu's eyes light up.
"Look at that frequency! He is vibrating his muscles to warm them up instantly! High-level micro-movements!"
Crowd: "Ooooooh!"
I stand up. I hold the sword with one hand. It drags on the floor.
I don't know the stance. Should I hold it like a baseball bat? A golf club? A baguette?
I decide to just let it hang by my side. I'm too tired to lift it. I'll just stand here and accept my fate.
Ryu assumes a perfect stance. High guard. Intense aura.
"Come at me!" he roars.
Me: "No thanks! You come here!"
"He is baiting me," Ryu mutters. "He is leaving his entire upper body open. It's a trap. If I strike, he will counter instantly."
Ryu starts circling me.
I just turn my body to face him because I don't want to get hit in the back of the head.
He circles left. I turn left.
He circles right. I turn right.
He feints a step. I flinch and almost drop the sword.
"Aha!" Ryu shouts. "He reacted to my killing intent, not my movement! His perception goes beyond the physical realm!"
Me (Internal): Dude, are you hallucinating? I am literally trembling.
Suddenly, the gym doors burst open.
"STOP!"
Everyone turns.
It's Baek Yerin.
And she looks pissed.
She marches onto the court. The crowd parts for her. She walks right between me and Ryu.
"Ryu Min-ho," she snaps. "What do you think you're doing?"
Ryu lowers his sword. "A duel, Yerin. Warrior to Warrior."
"He's not a warrior!" Yerin yells. She points at me. "Look at him! He's just a guy trying to drink his banana milk!"
My heart swells. Yes! Defend me! Tell them I'm a loser!
"He is clearly holding back," Ryu argues. "Look at his eyes. Dead fish eyes. The eyes of a killer."
Yerin turns to me. She looks at my shaking hands. She looks at my terrified face.
Then she looks back at Ryu.
"He's not fighting you because you're not worth his time," she says coldly.
Me: Wait. What?
"Excuse me?" Ryu looks insulted.
"Jinsu doesn't fight for sport," Yerin lies smoothly. "He only fights to protect. Dueling you would be... meaningless violence. It's beneath him."
She grabs my hand.
My actual hand. Skin on skin.
"Drop the sword, Jinsu. Let's go."
I drop the sword immediately. It lands on my toe.
"Ow," I whisper.
Ryu stares at us. He looks at Yerin holding my hand. He looks at the discarded sword.
He falls to his knees.
"I see..." Ryu whispers. "He discarded the weapon to show mercy. He didn't even need to strike to defeat me. His will alone... broke my spirit."
Ryu bows his head to the floor.
"I admit defeat! You are the superior male, Han Jinsu! Please, take me as your disciple!"
Me: "Disciple? No! I can't even tie my own tie properly!"
The crowd erupts into cheers.
"Jinsu! Jinsu! Jinsu!"
Yerin drags me out of the gym.
Her hand is still holding mine. Her grip is tight.
We get into the hallway. It's empty now.
She stops. She lets go of my hand.
She leans against the wall, breathing hard.
"You're unbelievable," she says.
"Thank you?" I ask. "For saving me?"
She looks at me, her face flushed.
"I didn't save you because I felt sorry for you," she mutters. "I just... I didn't want him hitting your face."
"My face?"
"Yeah." She looks away, kicking at the floor. "It's... a decent face. It would be a waste if it got bruised."
[System Alert: New Flag Triggered.]
[Character: Baek Yerin has entered 'Tsundere' Mode.]
I stand there, confused, sweaty, and exhausted.
"So... am I still the Ice King?"
She smirks. A real, genuine smirk.
"No. You're just my idiot now."
Me (Internal): Your idiot? Excuse me? Is that a title? Does it come with health insurance?
The day finally ends.
I walk out of the school gates. I am mentally drained.
I have defeated the Kendo Captain (by doing nothing).
I have held hands with the School Idol (forcefully).
I am a legend.
And I hate it.
I just want to go home and play League.
As I'm walking to the bus stop, a black sedan pulls up slowly beside me.
The window rolls down.
A girl is sitting in the back seat.
She has silver hair (dyed, obviously). She's wearing sunglasses even though it's 5 PM. She's holding a tablet.
She lowers her sunglasses.
Her eyes are sharp. Calculating. Like a predator scanning a barcode.
"Han Jinsu," she says. Her voice is like silk. "Class 2-A. Blood type B. Fear of loud noises. Secret hobby: collecting limited edition anime figurines."
I freeze.
"How... how do you know that?"
She smiles. It's not a nice smile. It's the smile of a capitalist shark.
"My data analysis predicted you would defeat Ryu with 98% probability," she says. "But the method... psychological warfare? Impressive."
"Who are you?" I ask, stepping back.
"I am Song Hana," she says. "Student Council President. And the CEO of the School Trading Club."
She opens the car door.
"Get in, Jinsu. We have a problem. The school budget is in deficit, and according to my calculations, your 'face' is the only asset valuable enough to save us."
Me: "My face is an asset?"
"I'm going to monetize you," she says calmly. "We're going to sell photocards. Maybe body pillows. Get in the car."
Me (Internal): Chat... I think I'm being kidnapped by a capitalist. Is this part of the harem route? Because I would like to unsubscribe.
I look at the bus arriving in the distance.
I look at the scary girl in the expensive car.
"Can I just take the bus?" I ask weakly.
"No," she says. "The bus is for commoners. You are a brand now."
She snaps her fingers. Two bodyguards step out of the shadows.
They pick me up. Like a sack of potatoes.
They throw me into the car.
"HELP! STRANGER DANGER!" I yell.
The car speeds off.
[To Be Continued...]
Author's Note:
What is up, my beautiful readers!
So, Jinsu has officially Rizzed up the Athlete and the Idol, and now the Rich CEO President wants to sell his body (pillows).
Poor guy just wants to play LoL.
Question: Would you buy a Han Jinsu body pillow? Be honest in the comments
.
(I would. It probably smells like anxiety and banana milk.)
[Next Episode Preview]
"Wait, why do I have to model for a photoshoot? Why is the concept 'Vampire Duke'? And why is Yerin holding a whip?! MOM COME PICK ME UP!"
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