How have you been lately, it been long since we last saw each other. "She at me with fake smile dry lips as she the change in how I looked, diamond rings, expensive shoes that could have saved us rent for a year. Then broke down in tears, I looked at her as my hair blocked my sight from all the wind in the area, with sympathy as the fireworks lit in the sky for New Year's. Someone had spilled juice of expensive Louis Vuitton coat so I removed off and remained in my white vest. "Stanley. Please, save our kids" she said as her tears out endlessly. I always thought I would be her last line of call but I guess they come back.
People usually say, a New Year new stakes, or maybe a year ends with its own problems. But for me, my problems have refused to let me go. Those little… have even followed this next year.
Last year but earlier, I have had any of these on my plate. It was just me, a 34 yr. old man, heading to work as a carpenter every day, getting paid per month for my energy, and then head back to my family. My arm got a fracture during work so my boss gave me a week off.
Melissa wanted me to join them with the kids but I wasn't in the mood. So she left the kids. To be for real, I did want to see them but it wouldn't be the same without her. So, I just imagined that she was really there waiting for me but I won't go there just to play with her mind as always. It feels like yesterday, when I held her while we danced as we listened to our favorite songs. But that doesn't matter. It was just me now anyway. She passed away, my beloved wife, Jackie. I remember the moment I held her hand as she held her last breath. Even though I was able to borrow some money for her treatment, it only made live longer like doctor said before. Just like that, I had gone in debt just because I refused to accept the fact that my wife was really dying and had to say goodbye. A year later, tension caught between, me and Melissa, Jackie's sister. We didn't want it but it later caught us off guard.
Later, I joined the army, but it only made traumatized than before, I saw most of the kind of my kind comrades there get killed as if it was nothing, getting their heads get blow, shot in the eyes, legs, heart but when some other evil people who deserve these shit are just there outside enjoying what could have been ours. Why do these kind people die such ugly deaths while bad people? How do these people see other people die but still can't do anything about more so they are the ones making them fight? How can they sleep at night? They paid us but it felt as if they were bribing us to show people how fun it was to be in the army, what a bunch of scoundrels! After a few months, I got out to my kids. My boy Andrew had turned 9, he had joined his school football and Aria, 6, had made an improvement at her school with excellent grades.
Back to where we are, but not when Melissa was crying, here when she left me at home to see the fireworks, my brother was here to keep me company. He has been here helping Melissa and the kids at home with money and resources. We drank bourbon as we waited for them to come back.
I told him, you know what; this year is going to be my year. He said back "That's what you say every time. Back this time feels different "I insisted. It always is" he ignores my saying. My brother was someone I was never able to understand ever since we were kids, my little brother ever since we were kids; he was always distant to me and my sister when we were going up. The only time he would talk to us was when he used to come to our rooms and annoy us. I never knew he wanted to spend time with us till it was too late. Now we had grown up and he is still distant with us, he told me he is makes investments for a living and it's going well, he has been guarding Melissa while I was away. He talked more about how life was in the army and he told me he wanted to try out for politics. I never knew he was in that kind of thing. After that, the kids and she came back.
My arm had healed so it was back into the store again, my time at home was so precious but if I had get me together, what would my kids think of me. Would I look like am a good-for nothing?
Morning coffee and bread was for breakfast and I head the kids to school then move on with my journey to work. At work, I and my friends would always brag about sports till the boss came to us. I always remembered his gridding smile of his as if he was a good person. He always lied to us he was short on money to pay us but I could see his belly getting huge bit by bit by the moment, I could see his children go to fancy schools, see him at the strip club showering women at the strip club with cash but still tells his workers to wait to weeks to get their pay check. This man is driven by lust and gluttony and he doesn't have the audacity to hide it. As we wait, he is always hits as if they are dogs. He's like those people who gave us orders from the military. How were their brains concocted? I wonder.
He comes near our bench group and asks "Do I even have to ask? Would you like to work another Sunday or find a new job?" We all agreed with no other choice. A newbie, Eddy, asked why we are all sad, it was just one Sunday. The Boss added on "Yes, exactly, why you guys be positive like him? Oh, Stanley! I see you are back, took you long enough."
It has been 7weeks and he has only paid me half of my monthly salary. I told him my daughter is sick. I told me that I should just buy her lemon and she will be alright. But I insisted so badly that he had no choice, he knew if he ignored me, there was a chance that I may resign. On Sunday, he made work so that we turned furious then he gave us pennies as it would make the situation better.
After I was done, guess who I ran into, it was those man's guys who came to demand me for the money I took for Jackie. You owe us money punk, their leader said. They came for me so I hit one of the guys and head for the hills, I knew they would just come to my home and hurt my wife and children. I had no choice but to lay back and face my problems as a man. It can't be that bad, more so I thought.
I pinned to the wall as they punched and punched as I looked more of a punching bag than a person. They hit me so badly, I couldn't walk well. They only saw the pennies that were in my pocket and laughed their bellies off. They called me pathetic and a joke. I may be stupid for thinking this, but I wish someone would just come and beat up for me. They said they will come back the next day and do even worse. I remember telling my boss about my problem but he told me if he paid my debts, I would have to work for him for a full year without payment. Dumb fuck
As I walk back home, I wonder is if life is done for me. Will I always be in debt till I die, will I never have the money to go out and explore the world, will I have to wait till I get old and… but you know what, if that happens, I will just have to go to the elderly's home till I die? Wait is that for me? Why don't I just go back to the army? At least when I go back there? I will die as a hero than wait for years and years that are worth nothing. At this moment, I would do anything to go back to high school, where life was fun for me at least.
I was walking in pain but I was hurt more in my dick. One of those kick me badly, didn't know what his deal was. Gladly, the injuries weren't bad, I needed it so badly but Melissa refused saying she wasn't in the mood. I knew if I don't get it now, I might make a scene again and those may be worse, not like they would understand. They are just there laughing on the table.
It was painful in the bathroom from all the beating they did to me but I thought of them and I did my best. It was delight afterwards. As we were done with dinner, I saw my brother holding Melissa as they were washing the dishes in the kitten, then they lending in for a kiss. I screamed my heart out for no reason what so over.
The kids who were sleeping woke up from all the quarreling in the room. I started the fight with me and my little brother as Melissa told us to stop but I could let go, I put all my anger on him. She trying getting involved but I ended pushing her away and her hit her head on the wall. I realized what I have just done. Oh my God, I'm so sorry, please forgive", pitifully. She only pushed her self away. Her eyes looked as if she couldn't recognize me. She picked up my brother from the room and took the kids also to their room. My brother whispered to him "He has been like that ever since we were kids, so don't mind him. He always has something brothering he's brain, now I'm wondering what.
I started shouting at them while I started throwing things on the wall
You wanna know what is bothering, huh? You, you all. Your laughs, your stupidly, your face. More of a fact, the way you breathe, all of you. Like Andrew, how can someone an F on their report. You don't understand me, that's why you think I'm a monster, Fine. You think am a bad person, fine. You hate me. Fine, I hate myself too. I guess that's something we have in common. Just know what I go through every day isn't even half of the things you go through in the month. I'm there working my ass off and you are there cheating on me, stupid whore.
Melissa: Don't curse in the house, you nuisance.
Me: Oh, I'm a nuisance? Bitch you are like a bag of bones to me. You can't even suck dick right.
She slapped me across my sweaty face and I got furious.
Andrew: Stop yelling at her, at least she is here when we need her. She does far better than you as a parent even though she is not our mum.
Me: Look who's talking. Andrew, how can someone an F on their report? How more pathetic can you be?
Andrew: You know what; we all knew what they were doing. Me and Arianna, even grandma knew that these two were fucking when you went to the army and we were not upset at all. We were happy; Arianna had finally had a happy life for once when you weren't around. Sometimes, I used to feel guilty about you not coming back but it all gone. I wish you never came back.
Melissa: Andrew, stop.
Andrew: You are complaining that you are working for us but instead you are only hurting yourself and the people near. So just do us all a favor…
Melissa shouts: Andrew, stop.
Andrew gets quickly into tears as he hugs Melissa as I stay in silence. What have I done? I looked at Arianna, holding her doll; she couldn't even look in the eyes, poor her. And then there was Andrew, the person who once scolded him for cursing is now the same person who was him new words.
That made me a moment when Jackie and I were watching TV, when she was still alive. We were watching a man shouting at his family. I told her the man was being dumb, how can he just yell at his family like that? I jeered at him. She told me she was also like me but different. She also used to see romance and thought she wouldn't want to be in that place but now she was with me. She gave a punch that hurt. I prayed so much that I wouldn't do this but my wishes failed me again.
I broke down in tears and shame as Melissa hugged me, we later went to bed. The neighbors may have heard us but I was more worried about my kids, I asked Melissa for forgiveness but she just said she knew I was. I asked if I could still get it but she still refused. I don't want to betray your brother." Then she turns to the other side of the bed. Why would she choose him over me? As much as I hate to say it, I have to calm my temper and see that stupid ugly boss of mine.