Lena spent Saturday morning trying to pretend the book did not exist.
She woke late. Sunlight already slanted through the blinds in sharp gold lines. Mia had come back sometime after three. Still asleep. Snoring softly. One arm flung over the edge of the bed. Lena moved quietly. Made instant coffee in the communal kitchen down the hall. Sat at the small table by the window with her mug and her laptop. Opened her notes from yesterday's discussion section. Stared at the bullet points she had barely written.
Cognitive dissonance.
When beliefs clash with actions.
Discomfort. Rationalization. Change.
She laughed once. Short. Bitter. Closed the laptop.
She told herself she would not touch the book today.
She had classwork. Laundry. A shift at the library tomorrow. Normal things. Responsible things.
She showered. Long. Hot. Let the water pound against her shoulders until her skin turned pink. Dressed in clean jeans and a sweater. Packed her bag with only the essentials. Notebook. Pen. Laptop. Charger. No textbook.
She left the dorm.
The campus felt different in daylight. Less haunted. Students jogged the paths. Sat on benches with textbooks and earbuds. Laughed in groups. Everything moved forward. Everything except her.
She walked to the library. Not for work. Just to sit. To be somewhere public. Somewhere the book could not whisper.
She found a table on the third floor. Quiet corner. Window overlooking the quad. Opened her laptop. Pulled up the syllabus. Started reading the assigned chapter. The printed words were dry. Safe. Predictable. Brain structures. Neural pathways. Nothing that made her pulse race. Nothing that made her thighs press together.
She read for twenty minutes.
Thirty.
Forty.
Her eyes kept drifting to the bag on the floor.
She told herself no.
She stood. Walked to the coffee cart in the lobby. Bought a black coffee. Too hot. Burned her tongue on the first sip. Good. A small punishment.
Back at the table she sat again. Opened a new document. Typed the date. February 7 2026. Started a to-do list.
Laundry.
Finish reading Chapter 4.
Outline paper due next week.
Email advisor about internship credits.
Normal. Practical. The life she had fought to build.
Her fingers hovered over the keys.
Then moved to the bag zipper.
She pulled the textbook out slowly. Laid it flat on the table. Cover closed. She stared at it like it might bite.
She told herself she would only check one page. Confirm the handwriting was real. Confirm she had not dreamed the whole thing.
She opened it.
The aura entry stared back.
She read it again. Slowly. Word by word. Letting the ache settle deeper.
She turned the page.
A new entry. Shorter. Dated December 18.
"Christmas lights up in the quad. She walked through them with friends. Laughing. Scarf loose. I stood across the path. Watched her glow red and green. Imagined her turning. Seeing me. Smiling. Walking over. Taking my hand. We would disappear into the dark together. Instead she kept walking. I went back to my room. Turned off the lights. Sat in the dark. Felt the dark."
Lena's throat closed.
She closed the book.
Pushed it away.
Picked up her coffee. Sipped. Burned her tongue again.
She looked out the window. Watched students cross the quad. Watched the wind move their scarves. Watched one girl laugh and toss her hair. Watched a boy watch her from a bench.
Her stomach twisted.
She opened the book again.
This time she went backward. To earlier pages. To the beginning. To the first real entry she had skimmed in the store.
September 8 again.
She read it slowly. Not skimming now. Absorbing.
She imagined him writing it. Eighteen. Alone in a dorm room much like hers. Pen shaking. Heart pounding. Trying to capture something that slipped away every time she walked past.
She turned pages forward again.
Found an entry she had missed last night. October 28.
"Tried to talk to her again. Quad. Noon. She was sitting on a bench. Reading. I walked closer. Stopped ten feet away. Opened my mouth. Nothing came out. She looked up. Our eyes met. One second. Two. She smiled. Small. Polite. Then looked back at her book. I turned around. Walked away. Legs shaking. Went to the bathroom. Threw up. Hated myself. Still do."
Lena pressed her palm to her chest.
The ache spread.
She knew that smile. The polite one. The one that said "I see you but I do not see you." She had given it to people before. She had received it more times than she could count.
She kept reading.
November 3.
"Stopped trying to talk. Too much risk. Too much pain. Better to watch. Better to imagine. In my head she wants me. In my head she says my name. In my head she touches me. In my head I am enough."
Lena closed her eyes.
In her head she heard his voice. Low. Rough. Desperate.
She opened them again.
The library clock said 2:14 p.m.
She had missed lunch.
She had missed everything.
She packed her things slowly. Textbook last. Zipped the bag. Stood.
Walked back to the dorm.
The wind was colder now. It tugged at her hood. Caught her hair. Made her think of his words.
She did not fight it.
When she reached her room Mia was out again. Silence welcomed her.
She locked the door.
Sat on the bed.
Opened the lamp.
Opened the book.
And let the ghost speak again.