I stared blankly at the Tenchuren soaring high into the sky, blinking my eyes in disbelief.
It was because something I could hardly believe, even after seeing it with my own eyes, was happening right in front of me.
'Squad 0...? How could the Royal Guard be here...?!'
The Royal Guard, commonly known as Squad 0.
They are the personal guard of the Soul King and a gathering of the greatest figures in the history of the Soul Society.
Due to their unique nature, they rarely reveal themselves unless an extraordinary event occurs. Consequently, Soul Reapers below the Captain level—those without any real information on them—tend to dismiss their existence as mere legends passed down by word of mouth.
And yet, here they were, very much real.
To be honest, this alone was enough to make my stomach turn, making my insides feel as if they were twisted like gnarled vines...
"You've lived as a couple for centuries. Why are you only having the wedding now, Master?"
"I forgot."
"Gahahaha! That's exactly the kind of reason I'd expect from you, Master!"
"Forerunner, I shall go inspect your bride's attire."
"You know where she is?"
"What a foolish question. Now then, please excuse me."
It wasn't just their presence; it was the way they were addressing Captain Shimon. They were calling him 'Master' and 'Forerunner,' treating him with the utmost respect as if he were their superior.
Unless you were a barbarian living in total isolation, there was no way you could miss the nature of their relationship.
Captain Shimon was the master of none other than Tenjiro Kirinji. He was a person of a higher rank than even Squad 0.
And... those words he had spoken in the Captain's office were not a joke.
—I was born before the Soul Society existed.
Could a person really be born before the Soul Society?
Impossible. I had previously reasoned that Captain Shimon's words meant he was simply old but didn't want to reveal his age.
'No...! Who would actually take that seriously?! I thought it was just a joke or a metaphor!!'
Due to excessive tension, my stomach churned, vomiting acid that crawled up my throat and prodded my uvula.
If I stay here much longer, I'm going to get an ulcer...
My head spun and my stomach burned so fiercely that I couldn't steady myself, eventually leaning against the wall.
As I stood there gasping for air, all sorts of thoughts raced through my mind.
'Did I... really speak so casually to such a colossal figure?'
Based on rank alone, he's much, truly much higher than even the Captain-Commander. And I was the one who shouted, 'Do your job properly!' right in front of him?
Well, granted, that was just an impulsive reaction when I misunderstood the Captain on the first day, but now I'm being polite—
—Then the Captain is a virgin of over ten thousand years...?
—You thief!!
—You forgot? Does that even make sense?
"Ugh...!"
Ugh, my stomach... My stomach...!
I pressed my forehead against the wall, unable to even lift my head as I tried to catch my breath.
"Haa... Hooo..."
The hot, damp breath I exhaled smelled sweet. It made my stomach feel even worse, but I had to endure it.
If there was even a one-in-a-million chance that I threw up and drew attention to myself here...
'I might actually die!'
Of course, Captain Shimon wouldn't actually kill me, but my stomach would give out and kill me instead!
As I stood there trembling with my eyes shut tight, someone gently stroked my back.
It was a simple gesture of stroking my back, but surprisingly, my stomach gradually calmed down, and my muddled mind began to clear.
Once my nausea subsided, I turned around to express my gratitude.
"I don't know who you are, but thank you... Thanks to you, my stomach feels better—"
A figure that looked exactly like a Buddha I had only ever seen in temple paintings or sculptures was looking down at me with a benevolent smile.
The Buddha...?
"Ah..."
I had heard stories about this. They said that a human body has its limits.
And if one is exposed to excessive tension, anxiety, or overwork beyond those limits for a long period, the body cannot hold out and is destroyed.
Sometimes it manifests as relatively minor ailments like gastritis or migraines, but other times it strikes as fatal conditions like cardiomyopathy or brain hemorrhages—diseases that kill the patient instantly.
I was likely the latter case.
Compounded with gastritis and various other conditions, I must have dropped dead.
"Am I... dead?"
[You are very much alive. Your complexion simply looked poor, so I provided a little assistance.]
"No, but... if I'm not dead, then why is the Buddha in front of me..."
[I came because I heard it was my Master's wedding.]
"Master...?"
Even though it was blatantly obvious whom he had come to see just by the mention of a wedding, I followed his gaze.
Struggling to turn my creaking neck joints, I looked where the Buddha was looking, and that's when the target of his gaze came into view.
Sure enough, there stood Captain Shimon in his formal attire, currently slapping the back of Tenjiro Kirinji's head.
I shouldn't look anymore.
My brain had reached its limit for processing information and gave up. I shut my eyes tight.
'Just kill me now...'
Just what kind of festival is taking place here?
No, it's not a festival—it's a funeral.
*
I chuckled as I looked over at Sakurano and Kagaya, who were leaning against a distant wall, looking like they had been burned down to white ash.
It's only natural to be surprised if a Buddha suddenly appears behind you. And frankly, is the lineup gathered here not impressive enough?
With those thoughts in mind, I turned toward Batsunsai. She was looking around with a similar expression to Sakurano.
Of course, the other members of Squad 4 seemed to be in a similar state.
Oh, look, that tall one with white hair has completely fainted.
It was definitely the right choice to pick this venue. If we had held the wedding inside the Seireitei, it would have been a disaster.
"So this is why you insisted on holding the ceremony in such a remote place, Master."
Turning around, I met the eyes of Jomon, who was wearing a haori embroidered with the sigil of the West.
"I suspected as much, but I didn't expect the Principal Deity himself to show up. How did you send the invitation?"
"He's a guy who is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. He probably heard about it somewhere and just showed up."
"Truly an essence akin to enlightenment itself."
I figured if I engaged him further, the conversation would veer off into philosophy, so I changed the subject.
"So, what happened to that fellow?"
"If you are referring to the Soul King, currently..."
Jomon trailed off as he lifted his bangs, which had been covering one eye.
Jomon's left eye now possessed four pupils, just like the Soul King's.
"He is watching from right here."
"I see."
With this, we were covering both bases: a Shinden-shiki since the Soul King was watching personally, and a Butsuzen-shiki since the 'Buddha' had physically come to grace the occasion.
Of course, few people here would understand the gravity of that, but who cares. As long as we're happy, it's fine.
"By the way, no matter how many times I see it, those eyes of yours are still creepy. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have had a single friend your whole life."
I chuckled and looked directly into his eyes, but those eyes simply stared back at me intently.
I guess he can't hear me after all.
"Even if you speak to him, your words will not reach him. Only one eye has descended here, after all."
"I figured as much. It's a shame, but nothing can be done. Well then, shall I call the others?"
Clap, clap, clap. Three light claps. I closed my eyes for a moment, then clapped once more.
At that moment, the Hell Gate, which had been hidden behind the shrine's facade, slowly revealed its form.
"Whoa!? WHAT?!"
Thanks to Nimaiya's loud reaction, everyone's eyes naturally turned toward the gate.
Those who knew me well, like Squad 0 or Kagaya, just took it in stride, but among the Squad 4 members, people were dropping like flies.
"Hey, hey!! What's that?! Huh?!"
In the midst of it all, Furufushi came running over, tugging at my sleeve and shouting.
Honestly, shouldn't she have figured it out by now? It was so ridiculous that I couldn't help but chuckle and shrug my shoulders.
"What do you think? It's the front door to my house."
"What...?"
"Just step back for a bit."
As I motioned for her to move back with a shooing gesture, Furufushi looked bewildered but obediently stepped away.
Shortly after, the firmly closed Hell Gate creaked open, and the Ten Kings, the judges of Hell, walked out.
Leading the way, of course, was Enma.
Enma approached me first and bowed his head slightly.
"Congratulations on your marriage."
"You look happier about having the day off than you do about my wedding."
"Well, there is that, but it is merely a secondary benefit, is it not?"
"I appreciate the honesty. Enjoy your rest today."
With that, the seats that had been largely empty were now filled to capacity.
Of course, there were still a few empty spots, but the guests would be here soon.
"Shall we begin?"
Just as the ceremony for Unohana and me was about to start, accompanied by the ticking sound of a clock's second hand, shadows began to crawl up from the floor.
"I am... a bit late. My apologies."
Yhwach, having made his grand entrance, quietly took a seat the moment he saw who else was standing around.
In any case, the wedding finally began. Unohana walked out wearing a snow-white Shiromuku... rather, a specially ordered bridal gown.
"I'm the one who asked for it, but she really outdid herself."
Senjumaru's craftsmanship really is something you can count on.
I smiled broadly as I took in the sight of Unohana.
"Ufufu... I was so nervous I didn't realize it, but truly incredible individuals have gathered here."
"They're all here to celebrate our marriage. And by the way, that dress looks wonderful on you."
"I'm a bit embarrassed because my stomach is showing a little..."
"Nonsense. To my eyes, you look nothing but beautiful."
I gently took the smiling Unohana's hand and nodded.
And so, the wedding ceremony began.