The sun was setting on our first day of travel, and what a day it had been.
With the chaos of the Hawkites successfully dealt with, our party encountered a very different type of chaos that stemmed from the attention we received from everyone else in the travel party.
Praise, thanks, and more was piled high onto our small group of six by nearly a hundred others.
"Come, eat more! Help yourself! This meat is of the highest quality!" a man offered.
I waved him off, having already eaten my fill and more, Aqua however, readily accepted.
"I had no idea that an Arch-Wizard that could use 'Explosion' was in the caravan!" a young adventurer gushed.
"And an Arch-Priest who could heal everyone without breaking a sweat!" another laughed.
Unfortunately, our sudden stop at the head of the caravan had caused some minor crashes further down the line. Those who had been harmed were all later healed by Aqua once we got back.
"And you," an adventurer pointed at me, "came up with such a brilliant plan so quickly! I heard you spotted them first, and already had the strategy falling from your mouth by the time you finished your warning!"
I laughed, "A bit of an exaggeration, but sure, I do seem to have a knack for coming up with plans quickly. But seriously, we really don't need your guys' pay for this trip,"
"What are you saying? You're the guys who killed all the Hawkites!" the adventurer countered.
"That's true," I admitted, "I mean, if you all really want us to have it instead, I suppose we can take some of it," I said, returning to my task.
Megumin and Darkness watched me closely as I slowly worked the dents and scratches from Darkness' armour.
"And what's with you two? What's so incredible about me fixing armour?"
"It's my armour," Darkness countered, "and it's cool to see it be repaired right in front of my eyes,"
"And it's impressive," Megumin continued, "You could probably make a living as a smith, if you wanted,"
I smiled, "Magic sure is a boon,"
Megumin nodded in agreement.
While we were sat around a small campfire, Aqua was at the main one, performing various tricks, to the delight of the audience.
She had also, for some reason, recruited Wiz and Yunyun as aids aides in her performance.
Her audience applauded and cheered at another successful trick.
It's so weird that she's so good at so many random things… though I guess I'm not too different, am I?
We stayed awake a while longer, talking, eating and drinking, before we eventually decided to get some sleep, so I lay down on a bedroll, and quickly fell into unconsciousness.
And I slept well, until I didn't.
I woke suddenly, and for no apparent reason.
But then I realised why; my 'Detect Enemy' skill was going haywire.
I reached to my left and started roughly shaking Aqua's shoulder.
"Wha?" she mumbled wearily as her eyes began to open.
"Wake up!" I whispered as loudly as I dared, "We're surrounded by enemies!"
"Huh?!" she whispered back, evidently still waking.
It was then that the adventurer who was on guard shouted, "Everyone up! We've got enemies incoming!" he warned.
With the cover of stealth gone, I stood and took out a torch, quickly lighting it with magic to get a look at the monsters that approached.
They were humanoid, but their movements were too stiff.
I raised the torch higher to shed more light upon them.
I looked at the closest one. It looked human, but further inspection revealed grey skin and missing limbs. Rotting flesh filled with cuts and holes, hair missing in clumps, and the stench of decay served as information enough to come to the conclusion that they were zombies of some kind.
"They're undead!" I shouted to the rousing adventurers in warning.
"Undead?!" Aqua exclaimed as she climbed to her feet, "Trying to attack us while we slept, how dare you! 'Turn Undead'!" she chanted, the spell flying from her outstretched hands and vaporising a few zombies within the vicinity.
She immediately began hunting down zombies, purifying each one she came across, and within minutes, the 'threat' was dealt with.
More praise and thanks were directed at my party, but before long, the excitement died down and everyone returned to sleep.
"Thank you all for your help! Enjoy your vacation!" the leader of the caravan said cheerily to our party as we finally arrived at our destination.
As a parting gift, he gave us each a coupon for what was apparently the largest hotel in the city.
"We're finally here!" cheered Aqua as she danced about in elation, "Alcanretia! The city of water, and hot springs!"
The city itself was cut into a mountain and lay next to a range of beautiful lakes. The mountain, which was definitely volcanic, was pockmarked with hot springs, so water was transported from the lakes to the springs for easy heating.
The buildings all displayed a base colour of blue, but each carried a unique twist to its colouration, giving the area a bright and vibrant feeling.
Another thing of note was that while the Demon King army rampaged around the known world, this city remained untouched.
Some say that the army already attempted an invasion, but with its failure, it wasn't attempted again.
Others claim that the goddess of water herself, Aqua-sama, protected the city and its inhabitants from the demonic fighters.
But the widely accepted theory was that the Demon King simply wanted nothing to do with the deranged cultists that made up the majority of the citizens.
"Welcome to Alcanretia! Are you here for sightseeing?" A local woman began, "To join the cult? To adventure? For baptism? If you are looking for a job, please come to the Axis cult! We have an opening right now to explain how wonderful the Axis cult is, the pay is very appealing. If you take the job, you'll also get the privilege of calling yourself an Axis cultist! Come, come, join us!" she exclaimed.
She turned to face Aqua and gasped, "What beautiful blue hair! Is it natural?" she asked.
"Why yes," Aqua affirmed with a smile, "it is natural,"
"You're so lucky! I wish I had such gorgeous hair!" the woman gushed.
Aqua thanked her bashfully, unprepared for the sudden praise.
"And no," I told the woman, "We're not here to join, she's already a priest of the cult," I said, gesturing at Aqua.
"Ah! I see! Farewell comrades!" she told us, "Enjoy your stay!"
With the woman having vanished into the crowd, we continued walking into the town.
"Hey," I whispered to Aqua, "Make sure you don't reveal that you're actually a goddess,"
"I know that," she countered, "I'm not dumb,"
"I know you're not," I lied, "Just thought it'd be safer to remind you anyway,"
She nodded in understanding.
"I'm so excited," she nearly squealed, "This is the main base of the Axis Cult! I can't wait to look around!"
No wonder she wanted to come here, nearly everyone here worships her.
"I'm sure you are," I laughed, "Let's head to the hotel first though. You can go explore after we know where we're sleeping,"
She pouted at me, "Aww," she whined, stretching the syllable, "But I wanted to see the church now," she mock complained.
I rolled my eyes.
We arrived at the hotel shortly after, it being very close to the city entrance.
"Welcome to the Star Spring Hotel!" the receptionist greeted when we entered, "Are you looking to stay?"
"Yes," I told her, presenting the coupons, "We have these for here. What do they get us?"
She examined the coupons.
"Oh my," she exclaimed, "These give each of you access to the Royal Suite! All expenses are covered with this coupon for our most expensive rooms!"
I whistled.
Those were some good fucking coupons.
We allowed the staff to take our bags from us and direct us to our rooms.
Wiz decided to rest in her room, as being in proximity to Aqua for such an extended period of time had left her feeling weak.
"Now I can go visit the church!" Aqua exclaimed.
I looked at Megumin, and she met my gaze. I glanced at Aqua, then back to her, silently asking if she could babysit the overeager woman.
To my relief, she nodded.
"I'll come with you, Aqua," Megumin said, "You can show me what it's like,"
"Yeah!" Aqua agreed eagerly, and off they went.
I looked to Darkness and Yunyun, "What about you guys? Up for seeing the sights?" I asked.
"I'm going to look around the hotel for a while," answered Yunyun, "See if I can use one of the hot springs. I'm all achy from the ride," she explained.
"Smart," I laughed, "How about you, Darkness? I was thinking of looking around and coming back in time for dinner,"
Darkness nodded, "That sounds like a good idea," she answered, "I don't know cities, apart from Axel, very well,"
We exited the hotel, and began our exploration.
"Excuse me sir!" a stall owner said to me, "Try my Arcane bun, made from all-natural ingredients harvested by the elves! It's much better than all the cheap stuff you get around here," he claimed.
The stall owner was an elf. Tall and handsome, with pale skin and green hair, long, pointed ears visible.
"Oi! Don't get cocky jackass!" came a new voice.
A very short, but wide man, likely a dwarf, with a long and full beard.
"Just 'cos it's expensive don't mean it's good! Here sir, try my special dwarven meat bun! It's full to the brim with high quality meat, and will remain good for ages, a specialty that grants it a great value!"
Something's off.
The dwarf's beard. There's no way any baker worth his bread would have a beard like that. Too unsanitary. The colour was also ever so slightly darker than the brown hair on the top of his head.
It was fake.
I looked deep into his store. There was a door on the left side at the back.
But that would lead into…
The elf's shop.
I looked back at the elf, examining him closely.
His ear had a small line across them. No, both ears had it. Fake? Probably.
"An elf and a dwarf!" Darkness exclaimed quietly, "Hey Kazuma, there are elves and dwarves here! They look just like the way I heard in stories when I was little,"
Ah. Just like the stories, huh?
"So it would seem," I said, glancing between them.
"Look what you did!" The elf exclaimed, "The customer is confused. He is just here to look around, but is now at a loss because you pressured him. Back off, lowly dwarf," he ordered haughtily.
They were putting on a show.
"Stop the bullshit! The customer wants to browse my wares, he is troubled because you are bothering him! He wants to buy my goods, so scram, you pale green elf!"
"Hey, don't fight!" Darkness exclaimed in a panic, "I'll, uh, buy from both stores!"
The elf and dwarf smiled.
I put an arm in front of her as she moved forward.
"No, we will not,"
The smiles dropped, being replaced with confusion.
"We will not be purchasing anything from liars who take advantage of their customers' kind hearts," I said, expression dark, as they're faces morphed into shock, "Nice beard. Nice ears. Look like they're right out of the stories, wouldn't you say?"
"K-Kazuma?!"
I turned on my heel, grabbed Darkness's hand, and began walking away, dragging her with me.
"W-wait! Sir!" the dwarf began, pulling the false beard off, much to Darkness's shock.
"W-we didn't mean it like that!" the elf continued, pulling off the fake ears to reveal very human looking ones beneath.
"They were f-fake?!"
I rounded on the liars.
"Bullshit! That's exactly what it was for, wasn't it?!" I countered.
They looked away guiltily.
"Liars don't get past me, so you can both fuck right off," I told them, turning away once more, "C'mon Darkness, we're taking our business elsewhere,"
Her face hardened, and she followed me away.
I bit into the kebab I had just purchased as Darkness examined her own.
We walked the streets aimlessly, admiring the clean and beautiful city.
A young girl walked the road ahead of us, carrying a large crate, so I moved to the side to let her pass. However, as she passed, she lost her balance and dropped her crate to the ground, apples spilling from the open container and rolling across the ground.
Darkness and I stopped, and bent down to help the young girl retrieve her lost fruit.
When it was all returned, she looked at us with a bright smile, "Thank you very much! You've both been a big help!" she said cheerfully.
"It was nothing," Darkness returned, "Anyone would have helped,"
"Even so, please allow me to repay your kindness! There's a café run by the Axis Cult just up ahead, let me buy you a drink!"
A girl this young is a recruiter?
"No thank you," I told her, "We've already got other plans,"
I stood and turned, pulling Darkness with me, until the girl grasped my cloak.
"Wait! I may not look it, but I'm great at fortune-telling! If you come with me I'll tell you your fortune, free of charge!" she pleaded.
"No," I rebuked immediately, "Let go of my clothing,"
I shook her hand off my cloak, but then she dived at me, wrapping her arms around my mid-section, making me stumble, but remain standing.
"The results are in! If you continue on this path, great misfortune will befall you!"
"Great misfortune is already befalling me!"
"You can avoid this misfortune by joining the Axis Cult!"
I rolled my eyes, and pried her hands from my chest.
"Look girl, I won't join your cult; I'm a nihilist," I told her.
"Nihilist?" she questioned.
I bent down so my eyes were level with hers.
"Nothing matters. Everyone dies and life has no meaning. All religion is false. We will all be lost to the sands of time, dead and forgotten," I said quietly, staring into her eyes.
She looked frightened as she pulled he arms from my grasps, turned tail, and scampered away.
I sighed.
"Well that was a pain," I said.
"She was… adamant," Darkness continued.
I nodded in agreement.
We began walking again, before a thin woman and burly man made an appearance from an alleyway.
The woman screamed.
"Save me! You two over there, please help me! This man who is probably an Eris devotee wants to drag me to a deserted corner!"
Oh my fucking god these people.
The burly man cackled, "Do you happen to be an Axis cultist? Haha! If I see a strong and handsome Axis cultist, I would definitely run away. Since you are not, I will proceed hesitantly! If you want to stop me who had been blessed by the dark goddess Eris, you will regret it!"
I slammed my palm into my face with a large amount of force.
"Fuck both of you! Your religions are false! Life is meaningless!" I shouted at them.
Their gaping mouths were quite amusing to see as I dragged Darkness away.
To escape the rampant cultists we entered a store.
"Congratulations! You're the one millionth customer to enter! You'll have to join the Axis Cult as a formality, but we'll give you this high value memento!"
Oh my god. Fuck off already!
I pointedly ignored the store employee and went further into the shop.
A nearby girl hummed to herself as she studied me.
"Oh! Long time, no see!" see exclaimed, seemingly coming to a realisation, "How have you been? We were in the same class at school, remember?" she laughed lightly, "Though I guess it's not surprising you don't recognise me. I've changed a lot since joining the Axis Cult,"
I looked at her.
"Oh, you mean with Mr. Satou?" I asked.
"Yeah!" she answered quickly, smiling.
"Really? That's funny, because last time I checked, I was Mr. Satou," her smile dropped, "you lying whore. Now fuck off. I'm not joining your stupid fucking cult, so tell all your buddies to 'leave me the fuck alone'," I finished.
I'm going to stab one of these fuckers real fucking soon if they keep this shit up.
I pulled Darkness along behind me, out of the store and back onto the street and we turning into an alleyway to avoid more of the cultists.
A little girl ran along the path in our direction, no older than ten years old.
Her foot caught on the path, and her eyes widened as she pitched forward.
I 'Dash'ed forward, and managed to catch her before she landed on her face by grabbing a hold of her small shoulders.
She pulled herself upright, nearly overcompensating and falling backwards, but then steadied herself.
"Th-thank you," she stuttered, breathless, "Wh-what's your name mister?"
I crouched down, "I'm Kazuma, and this is my friend Darkness. Are you alright? Nearly had a bad fall there,"
"Ka-za-ma? Dar-ku-ness? How do you spell those? Could you show me?" she asked, presenting a sheet of paper she had been carrying.
'Axis Cult Registration Form' it read.
I breathed in and out deeply through my nose.
"Look kid," I said darkly, "I recommend never doing this again, because if you do this with someone less forgiving than I am, they might hurt you. Someone who wants to join the Cult will, someone who doesn't, won't, and you can't change their decision, so just leave them be, or they just might get angry,"
She nodded dumbly, and ran away, vanishing onto the streets.
"I hate this fucking city,"
"Welcome to the Axis Church! I don't recognise you, are you here to sign up? To pray?" asked a priest at the entrance to the Axis Cult's main church who swept the floors.
"I'm looking for a blue-haired Arch Priest. She said she was coming here, have you seen her?" I asked.
Her face showed recognition, "Yes, I have, and indeed she is here. The other priests are currently busy with other tasks, so she has graciously taken over the confession booth,"
"Thank you. Darkness, you try find Megumin, I'll get Aqua," I told my companion.
We parted, Darkness to explore the church, while I bee-lined for the confession booth.
Seeing as I wouldn't really be able to call her name aloud, I slipped into the other side of the booth.
"Welcome," Aqua's voice said kindly, "Come, confess your sins. The goddess will listen, and forgive your sins, as she is kind and fair,"
I snickered.
"And humble too, I guess?"
"Eh? Kazuma?!" Aqua gasped, opening the divider.
"Yo. Your modesty is truly inspiring,"
Her face flushed.
"Wh-what are you doing here?" she said, attempting to change the subject.
I allowed it, "Me and Darkness are finished exploring. Your followers ruined it for us, unfortunately,"
"Huh?! What did they do?" she exclaimed.
"They're very…" I paused, searching for a word, "Insistent. They kept trying to coerce us into joining your following. Even when I told them I wasn't interested in joining - and I mean, I've got you, so why would I? – they still kept trying to make me join,"
"Th-they were?" she gaped.
"Yeah. I mean, considering how you are, shouldn't they all be about kindness and compassion?"
Her face flushed at the indirect compliment
"Uh... Y-yeah, something like that,"
I shook my head, "Anyway, we were gonna head back to the hotel, get some dinner, then enjoy the hot springs. You gonna be here much longer?"
"Hot springs? Ah, no! I was just finishing, actually!" she answered hurriedly.
"Cool, wanna get going then?" I asked, "Oh, and here's Megumin and Darkness. Good timing,"
"Yeah, let's get some food, I'm starving!"
"Ah, welcome back everyone!" Wiz greeted as we entered the large main room, playing a board game with Yunyun, "I've already been to the hot springs, and they're excellent! The staff told me the mixed bath was larger, so I decided to go there! There was no-one else there, like I had booked it for myself, it was great!"
I laughed, "Sounds awesome. We're gonna check it out after dinner. How 'bout you Yunyun? How was your day?"
"The hot springs were great!" she returned, "But when I went sightseeing, those cultists kept pressuring me to join, so I came back to the hotel,"
"Ah, unlucky. We had the same problem. You guys hungry?"
With their agreement, we went to the dining room of the hotel, where we swapped stories, jokes, and banter, all the while enjoying the grand selection of foods that the hotel had to offer.
With stomachs full and spirits high, we left for the hot springs.
The mixed one, mind you. Not because I'm some raging pervert, I don't really care about seeing them if I don't get to use them after. I did it because Megumin and Aqua's reactions will be fucking hilarious.
Plus, bathing together is rather intimate, strengthens pre-built trust like crazy, and should earn me some huge affection points.
We arrived at the hot spring Wiz had been in, and entered the gendered changing rooms.
I removed my clothing and wrapped a towel around my lower body.
I was the first out of the changing rooms. I let out a sigh as I slowly slipped into the heated water, enjoying the sensation.
Darkness came out second, a towel wrapped around her body. She spotted me in the water, and nearly stumbled, but caught herself, and continued to the edge, sliding herself into the spring.
Just a couple seconds later, Megumin and Aqua exited, lightly bickering.
They turned their heads to the hot spring, and immediately froze.
Their faces went red as they clutched protectively at the towels surrounding their figures.
I blinked in 'confusion'.
"What?" I asked, "Is there something on my face?"
"N-n-no," Megumin stammered, attempting to hide behind Aqua.
"W-we weren't e-expecting it t-to be m-mixed," Aqua stuttered, which Megumin vigorously nodded to.
"Huh? But I got directions from Wiz for the mixed bath. She said, it was bigger, remember?" I explained. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I propped myself up with my elbows on the ground behind me, exposing my chest, "Whatever. Look, just get in the water, it's real nice, and you're wasting time just standing there,"
"R-right," Aqua said, unable to tear her eyes from my midsection, Megumin in a similar situation.
She started taking shaky steps towards the water, Megumin trailing behind her.
They reached the edge, and Aqua's eyes darted between me, and the water in front of her.
"D-don't look!" she demanded.
I raised an eyebrow, before rolling my eyes and turning my head away from the bashful women.
After a few seconds of splashing sounds, they quieted.
"Can I turn back now?" I asked.
"Y-yes," Megumin answered, and I turned back, to see them both sitting with the water up past their shoulders.
I couldn't help but snicker.
"God, you two are so shy. It's hilarious," I told them, Darkness giggling in agreement.
Their faces went red again as they pouted up a storm.
"You guys need to relax. Look, Aqua, turn around and put your arms up on the edge, I'll repay what you did for me the other day," I said, crossing the shallow water to the other side of the pool where the three women sat.
She looked confused, but complied.
I knelt behind her and lifted my hands up onto her shoulders, beginning to massage the soft skin like she had for me.
She gasped at the sudden contact, but relaxed as she realised my intent.
"Y-you don't have to repay me for this!" she gasped, the heated water lapping at her pale skin making my job of making her feel good significantly easier.
"Yeah, but I want to," I said, pushing at a particular knot between her shoulders.
She tried, and failed, to supress a mewl.
She tensed at the noise that escaped, her face blushing to a degree that red was visible on her ears.
I laughed.
"Just relax and enjoy. You can trust me Aqua," I told her kindly.
She eventually did as I asked, letting her legs float behind her as I worked on more of her back.
Once I had finished, she sighed deeply, and turned to look at me with bleary eyes.
"You're really good at that, you know?"
I laughed.
Megumin poked at my arm, but looked away once I turned my attention to her.
"M-me to," she said.
I smiled at her, "You want one too?" she nodded, "Then of course my lady!" I exclaimed with mock formality.
She giggled, before turning over and assuming the same position that Aqua had been in.
I massaged her like I did Aqua, locating and relieving knots in the muscle.
There was a distinct difference between Aqua and Megumin's bodies.
To the touch I mean.
Aqua was softer and smoother, but with Megumin I felt as though I was in contact with everything, not just the skin.
Within a few minutes, Megumin's massage was finished, and Darkness had bid us goodnight, choosing to return to our room early.
Now that my position wasn't governed by the massaging, I moved back to the edge of the pool, now closely between Megumin and Aqua.
"Seriously," I said, lifting my arms and laying them flat against the ground behind me, coincidently behind the two women, "You guys really need to relax more. We're only here for a few days, so we've gotta enjoy it while we can," I said, before yawning.
"Man, I could fall asleep in here," I said quietly.
"Yeah," Aqua agreed with a yawn of her own, her back stretching excessively with the large yawn.
She returned to a normal position, and 'subtly' pressed against my side.
Megumin, having seen what Aqua did, mimicked it, but after seeing no negative reaction from myself, also rested her head against my shoulder.
Aqua spotted this however, and was quick to do the same.
Neither were brave enough to put their hands on me unfortunately. It would have been easy to have an 'accidental' touch of something important had they done so, but alas, they were still too shy.
Whatever, this is still going much smoother than I had ever expected.
It was almost too easy.