Life is full of regrets that come too late.
If only I hadn't done that at the time, things would have been so much better. Or maybe I
should have done it this way back then.
Such thoughts, whether about trivial matters or important ones, have probably occurred many
times in everyone's lives, and regardless of the significance, the feeling of regret is never
pleasant.
If it's the kind of regret that helps you learn a lesson and ensures you don't repeat the same
mistake in the future, then it could be considered a good thing. However, matters of the past
often remain unchangeable regrets.
This is true for everyone, and Jeong Taeui particularly hates regret. He detests having to
constantly think about things that slipped through his fingers with a sense of remorse.
Therefore, when facing any situation in life and standing at various crossroads, he always
thinks about this first.
Will this make me regret it later?
If the potential for regret is equal, then between the two paths at the crossroads, he would
choose the one that will cause him less pain – less regret in the future.
Thinking about these things, he chooses to move forward and let go.
Although this isn't always correct, it has helped him live with a lighter heart, looking ahead
with fewer regrets.
What remains unfinished should continue, and what has ended should be left to end.
So, in recent years, Jeong Taeui has lived without much regret. That is a fortunate thing.
But now, after so many years, thoughts about the shape of regret, about a life filled with or
free from regret, return to his mind. Such deep thoughts suddenly appear.
If only I hadn't done this or that at that moment, how much better would it have been?
"...I wish I hadn't asked that. Or I should have reacted immediately upon hearing the
answer."
Jeong Taeui muttered sadly, resting his chin on his arm, which was lightly placed on the
railing.
The afternoon sky was turning into evening on the temporary tower where he was alone.The sun was setting in the west, burning red, and today the wind was stronger than usual. His
hair was blown across his face, and his clothes fluttered noisily.
The wind was strong, but the sunset was beautiful, and the weather was good. It felt like
standing on a mountain peak.
"Although it's just a five-story tower, considering the height above sea level, it might be quite
high."
Jeong Taeui muttered words completely unrelated to the thoughts swirling in his mind.
In front of him, behind the main building, the annex was quite far away. Beside the annex
was a large, clean swimming pool. Because it was hot today, two or three people were
soaking in the water.
Normally, he would think the water looked cool and refreshing, but at this moment, he didn't
think so. Instead, the water seemed frightening, increasing the gloom in his heart.
He shouldn't have asked that.
"Could it be... the person you have feelings for... is me?"
Right after uttering those words, Jeong Taeui immediately regretted it.
It was a question that brought no benefit and only caused trouble.
If the answer was no, things would become even more awkward and embarrassing.
Moreover, he would have to face the surprised look of the other person and live with a sense
of guilt whenever they met for a long time.
But even so, such a result was still better.
He could endure the price of a moment of uncontrolled curiosity.
But if the answer was the opposite.
"....What to do now...."
Jeong Taeui let his chin slide off his hand and collapsed onto the railing, clutching his head
and ruffling his hair.
***********************
Jeong Taeui asked without receiving a response from Christoph for a long time. Christoph
just silently looked at Jeong Taeui, and that gaze made Jeong Taeui feel incredibly uneasy.
The feeling of regret for misspeaking—he shouldn't have asked that question from the start—
began to spread throughout Jeong Taeui.
As Jeong Taeui worried about how to get out of this predicament, Christoph slowly lowered
his head, his gaze landing on Jeong Taeui's chest. Another long silence ensued.In situations like this, a friendly smile was needed to dispel the tension.
That thought flashed through his mind.
He should say it was just a joke and try to ease the situation.
…If not, things would become a tangled mess...
He could instinctively feel that. And that instinct had protected Jeong Taeui all this time.
"Ah, actually, I was just joking—"
"It seems like it."
But just as Jeong Taeui opened his mouth to explain, Christoph abruptly interrupted him as if
waiting for this moment. Christoph slowly raised his head, and their eyes met.
Jeong Taeui felt like a frog standing in front of a snake's mouth.
Not that Christoph intended to swallow or kill him, but Jeong Taeui felt that way in this
situation.
"I,...It seems I like you."
Christoph finally spoke, his voice firm and decisive, as if he had come to a definite
conclusion after a long time of thinking. His face was rigid, appearing even stiffer and colder.
Jeong Taeui, for a moment, didn't know how to respond, his mind blank, only able to stare at
Christoph.
The first thought when hearing those words was - 'It's over'
The second thought, a somewhat silly one amid dozens of troubling scenarios, was, 'Such a
beautiful person likes me?'
And then the third thought pulled Jeong Taeui back to reality. - 'What to do now?'
Of course, reject him.
Nothing more needed to be said.
But would rejecting him solve everything smoothly?
Sometimes just uttering a word could cause trouble. And this seemed to be one of those
cases.
No, just reject first.
"Thank you, Christoph. I'm happy you said that."Jeong Taeui began with a polite thank you to avoid causing hurt. But that seemed to be a
mistake.
Christoph's face, which had been looking at Jeong Taeui with a cold gaze, suddenly
brightened. His lips moved, and he blinked several times.
Jeong Taeui wished he wasn't sensitive enough to notice that tiny signal.
"No! I mean, you know, I already have someone with me, and we haven't broken up."
Jeong Taeui hastily raised both hands to explain further, and the sign on Christoph's face
disappeared. He returned to his usual cold, indifferent demeanor and calmly said.
"Then break up. I'll treat you better."
Damn it. This guy, lacking common sense about social relationships, clearly didn't know how
to handle rejection. Either he had never been rejected, so he didn't know what to do, or his
brain had a problem accepting rejection.
Then, attack from another angle.
"The person you want me to break up with is your former friend and colleague."
"I've already said he's not a friend."
Christoph's attitude suddenly changed. He seemed annoyed, looking up at the sky before
turning back to Jeong Taeui.
"And…"
"…"
"What do you think he would do if he were in my position? Retreat gracefully or just take
it?" - Chris
No need to ask, the answer was clear.
Jeong Taeui muttered a sound and scratched his forehead. A small bead of sweat appeared on
his temple.
"Then the most important thing is my opinion, right? I have no such intention. Sorry."
In this situation, prolonging the conversation was pointless. Jeong Taeui quickly chose to face
it directly.
This time, Christoph didn't intend to refute. He silently stared at Jeong Taeui, seemingly
trying to find the right words.
Facing Christoph, Jeong Taeui felt helpless, wondering how he ended up in this situation.He felt a bit confused. While being loved by many was a joyful thing, it also depended on
who the other person was.
"So, you're rejecting me?"
Finally, after thinking it through, Christoph asked. Jeong Taeui didn't take long to think and
immediately replied.
"Yes."
Christoph thought for a moment longer and then spoke with a cold face.
"But I like you."
"..."
If this continued, things wouldn't go anywhere.
Jeong Taeui almost wanted to pull his hair out from the tension. Suddenly, a truth flashed in
his mind.
"That's right. You hate being touched by others."
This time, Christoph's face clearly stiffened.
It seemed he couldn't deny this.
"If it's just holding hands, I might get used to it."
"No, no, not just that. As I said, the person I'm with and I not only hold hands but also sleep
in the same bed, kiss, and even do that."
Jeong Taeui thought he had to end this quickly and continued talking. Although saying these
things himself felt a bit embarrassing, it was too late now.
Moreover, stating the truth was just to protect Christoph's pure soul, who had a strong
prejudice against same-sex relationships.
As soon as Jeong Taeui said that, Christoph's face slightly paled. His gaze became more
intense.
"I don't like that."
"Huh?"
"I don't like you doing that with him."
"..."
Is this what people call meddling in others' business? Jeong Taeui wondered and then quickly
dismissed the thought.Christoph lowered his head again. This time, his gaze was level with Jeong Taeui's chest, his
face full of contemplation.
Temporarily out of the passive position, Jeong Taeui became calmer. He quietly observed
Christoph, who was thinking with a tense face.
Though Christoph's face looked tense, it wasn't much different from his usual expression.
This guy rarely changed his expression unless he lost control. Whether angry or happy, his
face didn't change much, even when smiling.
... Did he ever smile?
Jeong Taeui tilted his head a bit. He tried to recall and shook his head.
It was as if standing before someone who had never smiled, his memory couldn't find such an
image.
A person who had never smiled.
That person was now frowning, thinking in front of him. Although his face looked somewhat
dissatisfied, it was clear he was deep in thought.
"Christoph..."
He unconsciously called his name.
But at that moment.
Jeong Taeui's eyes widened. He blinked several times.
Something was off below. A feeling not entirely unfamiliar but still strange.
Jeong Taeui looked down and then back up in astonishment. He looked at the young man
before him with a disbelieving expression.
".... It's nothing major."
Christoph said with a slightly annoyed voice, mumbling and sighing. His face looked a bit
displeased as if he was irritated by the disturbance.
But his face betrayed that expression.
It was flushed.
Like a ripe persimmon, his face was red.
And below that face, Christoph's hand was touching Jeong Taeui's private area.
Why is your face redder than mine when you're the one grabbing me...No matter how hard he tried, Jeong Taeui felt his face couldn't be redder than Christoph's at
that moment.
Christoph mumbled, "It's nothing major," while still holding and releasing Jeong Taeui's
private part through his pants.
Simply holding and releasing, holding and releasing.
"..."
"..."
A strange silence passed.
*******************
Chris. Little did he know that Taeui was actually Chris's type>