Chapter 54: Missy Cooper
A faint smile tugged at the corner of Ethan's mouth.
He honestly didn't know where Sheldon got the confidence to believe a priest would die before him.
This wasn't the era of "the healer never dies, and as long as the healer lives, the party won't wipe."
Besides—resurrection spells couldn't be used on oneself anyway.
If Sheldon died, Ethan might be able to pull him back.
If Ethan died… he'd probably be very, very dead.
So if you really thought about it, wasn't Sheldon actually the one more likely to die first?
Ethan even spared a full second to seriously consider it:
If Sheldon were to die unexpectedly one day, and I resurrected him… what exactly would Sheldon's reaction be when he woke up?
Ethan's phone suddenly rang.
He glanced at the screen—and his smile froze instantly.
—Missy Cooper
He reflexively flipped the phone face-down.
Howard's instincts kicked in immediately.
"Ohhh, incoming call, sudden mood shift—this is definitely a fossil freshly excavated from your romantic past."
Penny propped her chin on her hand and smiled mischievously.
"Go on, answer it. Don't make a good girl wait."
Ethan glanced at Sheldon—just in time to see Sheldon look up.
After confirming Sheldon hadn't noticed the caller ID, Ethan stood up and walked toward the kitchen to take the call.
Penny whispered curiously,
"So? Who is it?"
Leonard shook his head.
"No idea."
Sheldon calmly set down his utensils.
"I am extremely familiar with situations like this. I possess a vast archive of historical data from which reliable conclusions may be drawn."
Everyone looked at him.
"He answered the phone using his right ear," Sheldon continued.
"The right ear is controlled by the left hemisphere of the brain, which governs emotional processing. This indicates he is engaging emotionally rather than logically—suggesting a deep personal connection with the caller."
The group nodded instinctively.
Sheldon stared at Ethan's retreating silhouette and went on:
"He is speaking quietly and with tension—not because he fears the call, but because he fears us overhearing it. This implies the subject matter involves personal privacy."
Several pairs of eyes lit up. Excited glances were exchanged.
Leonard leaned forward.
"So… a romantic interest?"
Sheldon denied it without hesitation.
"If it were a romantic partner, he would subconsciously smile.
If it were an ex, he would purse his lips and display mild embarrassment.
However, his facial expression froze entirely—which corresponds to a very specific emotional profile: unexpected, unsuitable for public discussion, but not emotionally distressing."
Everyone stared at him in disbelief.
Howard ventured cautiously,
"…That sounds like an ambiguous relationship?"
Sheldon fell silent for a moment, searching his internal database with great effort.
"No," he finally said. "More precisely: a physical relationship occurred, but no romantic relationship was ever formally established. Due to a number of complex factors, both parties mutually agreed never to mention it again."
The room went dead quiet.
Penny's eyes lit up.
"Whoa. That's spicy. So—was she a nurse? A patient?
Don't tell me she was an intern at his clinic. That would be a huge HR issue. Could he get fired?"
Leonard blinked.
"He is the boss. Who exactly is going to fire him?"
Raj suddenly leaned in and whispered something urgently into Howard's ear.
Howard nodded and relayed it aloud:
"He says Ethan covered the screen when the call came in—and then specifically glanced at Sheldon."
Howard paused, then added,
"So… Sheldon, was it one of your neighbors' wives? Or maybe someone from your church?"
Sheldon remained perfectly calm.
"No need to panic. His expression showed no guilt, which rules out a married individual.
If my analysis is correct—she is young, single, and from a chapter of his past defined by an unresolved mistake."
Ethan finished his call and returned to the table.
Everyone stared at him like a jury awaiting the verdict.
Ethan took a deep breath.
"Sheldon… Missy is coming to New York next week for a friend's wedding.
"She invited me to be her plus-one."
Sheldon froze for three full seconds—then his face lit up with unmistakable joy.
"That's wonderful! She didn't invite me!"
Everyone else:
"???"
Leonard looked completely lost.
"Who is Missy?"
Ethan explained,
"Sheldon's twin sister."
As for Sheldon's mysterious confidence—no one had any idea why he ever assumed Missy would invite him to a wedding.
Sheldon continued explaining earnestly:
"Weddings are extremely dangerous environments.
They contain large numbers of strangers, excessive noise levels, irrational hugging behaviors, and illogical social greetings."
Penny turned to Ethan, curious.
"So… you and Missy are close?"
Ethan thought about it seriously before answering:
"Sheldon is my neighbor. Missy is his sister. So… reasonably close."
"Wait," Howard interrupted, unable to hold back.
"Sheldon, you've never mentioned having a twin sister! Does she… does she look like you?"
His face twisted in a mix of curiosity and fear.
"Because a female version of you is kind of terrifying."
Raj nodded furiously.
Sheldon shot back immediately:
"Howard, your ignorance is once again astonishing.
We are fraternal twins. There is no genetic requirement for us to resemble each other. In fact, our appearances differ significantly."
Everyone turned to Ethan.
Ethan took a sip of water, recalling Missy's bright smile and energy.
"You'll understand when you meet her."
Sheldon seemed to recall something and turned serious.
"Did anything happen between you and Missy?"
The room went silent. Breathing softened. Everyone leaned in, as if afraid even air might disrupt the revelation.
Faced with their rising curiosity, Ethan's thoughts drifted back to the darkest period the Cooper family had endured.
That was when Sheldon's father had just passed away.
George was overwhelmed by work and family responsibilities.
Mary was emotionally shattered.
Sheldon had left for Germany as a visiting scholar.
Left behind in Texas was Missy—a teenage girl forced to grow up alone in the middle of a family storm.
What Ethan had done during that time was nothing more than basic neighborly care—helping her handle things she couldn't manage due to emotional distress and lack of support.
Occasional check-ins. Making sure she was safe.
Nothing inappropriate. Just friendship. Nothing beyond reasonable boundaries.
After listening, Sheldon nodded seriously.
"The logic is consistent. Emotional indicators are stable. I accept this explanation.
It appears my predictive model was flawed. I will need to update it."
Raj shot wide-eyed looks at the others.
"He believed it. He actually believed it."
Howard muttered,
"A teenage girl…"
Leonard added,
"Emotional vulnerability. Family collapse. Loneliness seeking comfort…"
Penny raised her hand and whispered,
"I just want to say—vulnerable girls are really easy to—"
Ethan narrowed his eyes at her.
Penny immediately corrected herself.
"Easy to need extra care! Care! Yes, care!"
Sheldon noticed nothing and continued:
"Based on Missy's consistent partner-selection model since age seven:
First: must be good-looking.
Second: must have money.
Third: must absolutely not be too intelligent."
Penny cut in,
"That last one is because of you, right?"
"Obviously," Sheldon admitted calmly.
"After evaluation, your appearance and financial status meet the criteria. And the fact that you chose to be friends with me suggests your intelligence remains within acceptable limits."
Ethan nodded politely.
"Thank you for the approval, Sheldon."
Sheldon concluded:
"Therefore, Ethan, I do not object to you having an intimate relationship with my sister.
On one condition—
Never make me attend the wedding."