WebNovels

Chapter 73 -  I Hate You the Most

In the end, was having one's true self exposed really that important?

So what if people saw what you truly thought inside?

Horikita Suzune could understand the logic behind Kushida Kikyo's conclusions.

But she couldn't understand the reason behind her choice.

More importantly—

Wasn't that self-destructive message something you wrote yourself?

That was what puzzled her the most.

You posted the message on your own.

You exposed yourself on your own.

And then you shut yourself away on your own.

What was that supposed to be?

She wasn't Kushida Kikyo.

She couldn't understand Kushida's way of thinking.

But from her perspective, Kushida's actions were simply incomprehensible.

She quietly took off her shoes.

Her small feet, wrapped in black stockings, stepped lightly onto the floor.

With a trace of nervousness, Horikita entered someone else's territory.

…This was probably the first time she had entered another girl's room.

And the first time she had seen a room belonging to someone her age.

Should she be nervous?

She didn't know.

Following Kushida's footsteps, she walked into the dim dorm room.

Even after letting her in, Kushida showed no intention of turning on the light.

The door closed slowly behind them.

The only light left came from sunlight leaking through thin curtains.

"..."

It wasn't bright, but it was enough for Horikita to roughly see the room.

The bed was messy.

The floor was still clean.

On the desk were several empty instant noodle cups.

So even while isolating herself, Kushida hadn't gone as far as starving herself.

Kushida pulled over a chair and sat down.

Propping her cheek with one hand, she said coldly:

"Talk."

"If you've got nothing to say, get out early."

Her usual gentle persona at school was gone.

Kushida was showing her true self completely.

"..."

Though the words were rude, Horikita didn't mind.

She sat down directly on the opposite bed and raised her head.

Looking at Kushida's face, she spoke clearly:

"You hate me."

"Tch. Isn't that obvious?"

Horikita shook her head.

"No. I'm stating my judgment."

"You hate me. From the day we enrolled, you've hated me."

"But even so, you kept trying in every possible way to get close to me. You wanted to become my 'friend.'"

She continued calmly.

"That's amazing. It's something I could never do."

Her praise was sincere.

Horikita truly acknowledged what Kushida had achieved.

"..."

After a moment of silence, Kushida looked away.

"Praising me won't get you anything."

Honestly—

What was this woman here for?

On the day she was absent, she hadn't come with the so-called friends who claimed to care about her.

Instead, she came today, after everyone else had already shown concern.

Then she rang the doorbell endlessly.

And when there was no response, she threatened her so bluntly.

Kushida had thought Horikita came to threaten her with the message and her past.

But after entering and sitting on her bed, Horikita suddenly started praising her.

What did she want?

"This isn't praise. It's fact," Horikita said.

"That's why I can't understand why you skipped school."

"After all, wasn't that message written by you?"

If you dared to write something like that, you should have been prepared.

Besides, the message wasn't even that clear.

Other than Horikita herself and the diary's owner, no one could truly confirm that Kushida had written it.

Others might guess that "Handprint Sister" was from Class D.

But it was unlikely they could link it to "Two-Faced" and Kushida Kikyo.

—Unless the diary spoke too much again.

"…What do you know about me?" Kushida bit her lip.

Now, she understood that her past hadn't been fully exposed.

But when she heard the cold voice saying "Uploading message"—

She couldn't think rationally anymore.

Her old wounds were ripped open.

That night, she had only one thought:

It was happening again.

"Turns out Kushida is like that."

"She acted so well."

"That's disgusting…"

The imagined voices of her classmates echoed endlessly.

Helplessness dragged her down.

Even when classmates came pretending to care—

Standing at her door and speaking kindly—

She no longer had the strength to go to class.

Once her momentum collapsed, it was hard to rebuild.

The fear that her past could be exposed at any time suffocated her.

This time, it was only visible to diary readers.

What about next time?

She had no way to fight back.

Even Horikita dared to threaten her with it.

Given the diary owner's personality, it was obvious she'd be mentioned again.

But those weren't the real reasons.

Kushida knew that clearly.

If she were afraid of that alone, she wouldn't have enrolled at all.

The real problem was—

Her mental balance had collapsed.

She could no longer trust any way of relieving stress.

Anonymous message boards were unreliable.

Even the supposedly safe diary wasn't trustworthy.

She couldn't think of any outlet for her accumulated pressure.

She was going to explode.

If this continued, she would completely break.

So she curled up in her dark room and stopped moving.

…Just lie down.

Empty your mind.

Close your eyes.

Think of nothing.

If she kept doing that for a few more days,

The cheerful, lovable, popular Kushida Kikyo would be reborn.

But this woman—

Without thinking—

Had barged in anyway.

And so, filled with disgust, Kushida spoke through clenched teeth:

"You really don't understand anything."

"That's why…"

"I hate you the most, Horikita Suzune."

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