It's been months, and things are going pretty well. I mean, too well. No complaints, possibly because I don't demand or expect too much, and Dante is too accommodating. Kissing has become so casual between us, and he knows how to take me to the peak with just one kiss.
Making out and cuddling are part of our daily routine. Blowjob and hand jobs are a bonus; nothing has gone beyond that. I don't know whether I am whining about it, but yeah, nothing has gone too far yet.
Dante and I are both busy with the current project and other company stuff. He frequently travels these days, so whenever he feels overwhelmed and misses our time together, he abandons his work without hesitation.
He is sure that he is trying not to woo me, but as I get up, I will be greeted by fresh lilies around the room. The fresh smell of lilies always makes my day, and a goofy smile would be playing on my lips throughout the day.
I hummed and leaned back in my chair, content as I disconnected the call from Dante, who is in Italy at present. This morning he left, and I miss him already. This experience was not on the bucket list; in fact, nothing that was happening was on my list.
This is such a random part of my life, where a series of unexpected things are happening, and I am welcoming them without any objection. I am liking this phase of my life; actually, that's a little bit terrifying to me. I have forgotten why, in the first place, I agreed to this deal. To prove something, and here, I am swaying in Dante's charm.
Things are too good to be true, and I am content with this life. No complaints, no headache to prove anything, and most importantly, I am relaxed while I am with Dante. Dante makes things easy for me; he takes care of everything around me, and I am barely contributing anything when I am with him, but I know he is content with my presence—nothing besides that. I still remember his words when he said that he would be content just lying with me, and it was enough indication of how much he wants me in his life.
I got up from the chair and walked toward the window. I miss him too much; it's not even a day, and this is not what I thought I would sign up for someday. I had a hidden agenda somewhere along the way. I forgot that too. Where was this going to lead us, especially me?
Things should not feel this good, and he should not be this charming to live with. It's been fucking months, and I am not able to find one single negative vibe from him. Not even one fault. I have not witnessed one wrong move from him; either he is too good, or I am enjoying all this too much to care about anything. If I had found something, things would have been simple for me; I would have ditched him in no time and would be back in my cocoon. Now, I don't know anything anymore. I am scared for sure and terrified about the future. Even after three months, I don't know whether I want this or not.
I am moved, that's for sure; I liked everything so far, but I am confused as hell. I don't know if this is what I want in the future, but if Dante's image pops up in my mind, then it's not hard to say yes. He always makes things easy for me and around me, and I hate it. I groaned as I leaned on the window. Would having sex with him relieve the stress that I am dealing with? Wow, did I just think that? Unbelievable, once again, a low groan escaped me.
My cell started ringing, and I pulled the cell from my pocket at high speed, thinking it was Dante, but it was my sister Audria. "Would you bless us with your presence?" She mumbled. "Please." That came from the background; it was Davis's voice. I chuckled at that. "Where are you guys?" "Same club." I coughed at that. Davis should get a damn life. "I am on my way." It was 4 p.m.; it was ok to ditch work for once. I gave a few instructions to Danial and made my way to the car.
I was outside the pub as both Davis and Audria walked out. Audria hugged me as I got out of the car, followed by Davis. "Let's go inside." "It's boring and too crowded; let's go to my place. Let's play some games, have drinks, and relax for the weekend." "Why, didn't you find your Romeo?" I mocked Davis. "Shut it, Desmond." We started walking toward our cars.
We were at the Davis place, swimming in the pool. He had invited a few other mutual friends too; the more, the merrier. I wanted a change, and this was a perfect distraction from the current internal battle that I had been having since morning. Davis joined me by carrying the beers. We took a sip while leaning on the edge of the pool, watching others. Audria joined us by splashing water.
We sat on the edge, me in the middle, with Davis and Audria on either side. "So, how are things?" Davis spoke, directing to me. "What, things?" "Your mission, Rowan." Audria supplied. "My mission?" I knitted at that. "For love of God, Rowan, sometimes you sure know how to push the button. You went to prove something, no, not something about your damn sexuality. How'd that come to be so far?" "Oh." Trust me, my throat clotted at that. Geez, I have either aborted my mission or completely forgotten; either way, I don't have any idea what I am doing right now. "We are busy running the company?" That was the smoothest lie I could come up with. "It's been months, Rowan." Davis should shut up sometimes. "Yeah, I know that." We stayed silent, and I knew they wouldn't leave me that easily.
"Rowan." Davis gave me those eyes, you know, the one-sole-reading eyes. He was reading me, and I am easy to read sometimes. "You are too calm." He started, and I gulped at that. "You are not complaining about anything; that only happens when things run smoothly around you." He stated the fact, and I just hated it. "Hey, I didn't find a chance to prove him wrong." "Exactly, what are you waiting for? Having sex and proving him wrong, something like that." I rolled my eyes at that, and I hate to admit it had crossed my mind so many times. I want to feel him; is that so wrong, or is it a gay thing?
"Did you have sex with him?" Davis asked with all seriousness, which gained the attention of my sister too. Only I could wish for, and trust me, I blushed. "No." I exaggerated; a curt no would have been enough to defuse their thoughts. "You guys should leave me for good and concentrate on your shit," I told them sternly. "I know why I am with him, so let me do my work." Again, I said I don't know whether it's a blatant lie or not. "We are looking out for you; it's been months," Audria said, feeling a little bit guilty. I sighed at that. "I know," I said to her softly. "Dante found connection when I stayed with him; that didn't happen in a night. I am trying to do the same thing, finding the opportunity to prove him wrong, and it will take time." Wow, I have turned pro at lying. Both nodded their heads reluctantly.
I finished my beer and kept the empty bottle aside. Too drained by all this. "Just take care; that's it," Davis said with a smile that was not reaching his eyes, and I nodded at him.
I don't know why they are so concerned. Yeah, I might have given enough reasons. I am 27, hanging in the middle of my sexuality, not knowing which way to go. All my life I was straight; all of a sudden, Dante is claiming that we have some connection, and also, I can swing his way. Things are adding up as he claimed, and as I am spending more days with him, everything is getting harder. Yeah, I can't deny there is nothing between us. I may not feel it as deeply as he does, but there is something. But is it temporary or forever? Is it only with him, or can I feel the same way with others too? What am I, gay or straight or maybe both? This is so confusing and depressing. While I am around Dante, nothing matters to me. As I said, he makes things easy, as messy as it sounds. He may mess up my mind; he may be claiming something I am not, but there is no denying that I feel relaxed, excited, and giddy around him. I can be however I want around him, no judging, no questions, and he doesn't even bat an eye, giving me a questioning look. He will welcome and accept me however I am, which is more dangerous and enchanting for me.
If I had found only one wrong thing about him—only one single mistake—I would have flipped the table. But with him, it's been months since I found anything. For some strange reason, I am happy about everything. I am happier that things are moving so smoothly than I expected.
Oh God, I miss him. Damn.
I groaned into the pillow as my cell started ringing. I snatched the cell from the table and answered the call. "Where are you? I have returned." Immediately, I got up from the bed when I heard what he said. "So, soon? It's Saturday, right?" He chuckled at that. "You were supposed to come tomorrow evening." "Shall I return and come back tomorrow evening, then?" "No," I shouted over the man. "I didn't mean that way." I corrected the misunderstanding immediately; once again, he chuckled. "If you want, I can pick you up." He asked me too softly, and he didn't even ask me where I was. "At Davis." I groaned as my head pounded a little. I pulled the drawer out and gulped a tablet with the water. "Do you want to spend more time?" "No." Once again, my voice went high-pitched. "Pick me up," I said, chewing my lips. "And," I pondered a little bit shyly, and suddenly my throat caught, not letting the words slip. "And?" Dante probed. "You should prepare the necessary things too; we are doing it today." The call went silent, and I regretted saying that so loudly so soon. Was it that bold? "Rowan?" I shouted this time; I don't know why. "We can wait; no need to hurry." I am done with waiting for shit. "Are you kidding me?" Once again, I raised my voice. "It's been months, and you still want me to wait," I grunted, adding a few curses along with it. "I thought it was soon to have sex." "Well, I didn't ask what you wanted, and I also made it clear what I wanted. We are having sex; enough of your hand and mouth." "Aww, I am hurt." I smiled at that. "Shut up, you know what I mean?" "I know." He grunted. "But are you sure about this?" "Yes, I am ready, and I want to have sex. I was ready in the second week itself, but I didn't say anything." He hummed at that. "We should go somewhere else," I suggested; the mansion was too boring, and if Bradly thought to give a visit, then things would be awkward. "I am waiting outside. Oh, I was taken aback at that but recovered soon and started to change my clothes.
In no time, I was outside Davis's place; I didn't bother to inform him, just dropped the message. Dante was out of the car, smirking as he saw me. My immediate thought was to engulf him in a big, hard hug, but I restrained myself from doing that, and I gave him a friendly hug. Dante chuckled, pressing me harder to his chest, and I hummed at the sensation. "Common." He opened the passenger door for me, and I smiled as I got inside.
The car started, and I was silently humming to myself. "Did you have food?" Oh, I forgot about having food for the first time. Dante gave me a knowing smile. "On the way, I grabbed something for you; it's in the back seat." I sniffed the air, just to make sure before moving my hand, and indeed the air smelled of food. How could I miss this too? "Thanks," I mumbled. I felt weird in my stomach, with knots and warmth mixed. "Resort?" Dante asked me as he was browsing through his phone. "Yes." He hummed, typing something on his phone. "Will grab things on the way."
"Nervous." I snorted at that, maybe a little, not that much. "I am horny like hell from last night," I confessed without hesitation. I missed him so much, I had to use my hand at the end. It's tiring and boring. The car abruptly stopped on the side of the road. "You are pushing me to take you in the middle of nowhere." He spoke with all seriousness. For a second, I seriously considered his offer, and I turned left and right to check out the surroundings. Dante burst out at that, and I was mesmerised as I saw him. He never laughs this way, so openly, without a care in the world; his smile is also encrypted, which I hate the most.
"Something has gotten into you," Dante said as he started the car. "I am suffering and deprived. The guy has his needs to be taken care of." I scoffed as I finished the sentence, and he snorted. "So, you are using me?" "Oh, you are complaining, as if you were not waiting for this to happen." He smiled at that. "I was waiting for years, Rowan." My mind went blank for a second at that, but I composed myself as two names hit my mind. "By fucking bitch and assholes around." He chuckled at that. "Now, now, Rowan, don't ever compare yourself with them. You are different; no one is comparable to you."
Oh, God, he will kill me before having sex. I felt butterflies at this age, Damit, and if I am not wrong, I felt this way when Isabella agreed to date me. My north and south zones started to act differently. My heart was beating rapidly, and my member was rebelling against my pants. This is not how I thought my ride would be with him, making me hornier and warmer.