I wasn't nervous.
"Are you nervous?" Felicia asked with a teasing smile.
"No," I wasn't nervous at all.
"Squeeze my hand any tighter and you'll break it," she raised an eyebrow at my knuckles turning white.
"Sorry." I stopped.
She laughed. "You don't have to be nervous, you know. Just be yourself."
"Do you remember when you were about to meet my aunt and uncle? How I told you not to be nervous and how completely useless that advice turned out to be?"
"Yes."
"Same thing here, Felicia," I sighed as we waited in her dining room.
After her mother had caught us making out in Felicia's room, I had received my very first genuine death threat — well, one that I felt might actually be carried out.
She had gone on quite a rant: how Felicia had violated her trust, how she herself had never brought boys into her room as a teenager, how Felicia should have told her. Felicia sat there and let it wash over her, in one ear and out the other. Me? I actually wanted this woman to like me.
So when she told me she couldn't approve of our relationship because she knew nothing about me, I suggested we sit down and talk properly later in the week. She agreed — which was why I was currently sitting here, looking terrified.
"Relax, Tiger," Felicia kissed my cheek. "It's pointless being nervous. She probably forgot what day this was and is halfway to Washington right now."
I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Felicia — she's your mum. She may act distracted sometimes, but I'm sure she won't forget something this important."
"Peter, I hate to break it to you, but you aren't the centre of the universe," she rolled her eyes.
"No. Just the centre of yours," I smiled.
"Cheesy romantic lines are not helping, Tiger."
I chuckled. "Sorry. But no — I don't mean because it's me. I mean because it matters to you. That's why she won't forget."
"Care to make a wager?" she asked.
"What are the stakes?" I raised an eyebrow.
"If you win..." she thought for a moment before smiling, "I'll give you the best night of your life."
Immediately I was very interested. "And if you win?"
"Then I want you to spend the rest of the night making me happy with that amazing mouth of yours," she grinned.
"Deal," I grinned back.
We waited a few more minutes, and just as I was beginning to think I was going to lose the bet the door opened and Felicia's mother walked in.
"Yes," I whispered.
Felicia grumbled. "God damn it, Mum — the one time I don't want you to come home."
The blonde-haired woman walked into the kitchen, saw us, and stopped in surprise. "What are you two doing here?"
I blinked. "You...you asked us to be here today. You wanted to get to know me better?"
"Oh...was that today?" she asked, looking genuinely confused.
"Ah...yes," I nodded.
"Oh, I'm so sorry — I completely forgot!" She gave a nervous laugh as she walked into the kitchen carrying bags filled with enough food for at least five people.
Felicia leaned in and whispered, "I win."
"No — that's not fair. You said she wouldn't even be here, not that she'd forget!"
Felicia raised an eyebrow. "Fine...call it a draw?"
"What about the prize?"
"We both collect," she smiled.
I smiled back and whispered, "Sounds fair."
Just then Felicia's mother walked back in and blinked at us. "You're still here?"
"Yeah, Mum — you did say you wanted to talk. And Peter here is a stickler for seeing things through," Felicia said with an innocent smile.
"Right, right. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to reschedule. I've invited a prospective client over for dinner tonight. I'm sorry, Pedro —"
"— Peter," I corrected.
"Yes, of course — Peter. I'm sorry, but we'll have to do this another time. Felicia, I need you to get ready. We'll have guests shortly."
"What? You're just kicking him out?!" Felicia snapped.
"Kitten, it's fine," I sighed. I hadn't even noticed I'd used the nickname, but the moment I said it her mother's breath caught sharply.
"No, Peter, it isn't," Felicia growled. "He's staying for dinner, Mum. He's my boyfriend — you're not just throwing him out."
"Fine, do as you like — but neither of you will speak during the meal. I won't have this deal fall through over dinner table chatter. Are we clear?" She fixed us both with a narrow look.
"Yeah, fine," Felicia muttered, though her mother didn't seem particularly moved.
We helped set the table for dinner. The food she'd brought home was from a Chinese restaurant a few blocks down, apparently famous for having the best fried rice this side of the East River. I wasn't really a fan of Chinese food, but the smell coming out of those bags was genuinely tempting.
As I helped transfer the food into serving bowls, I found myself alone in the kitchen with Felicia's mother. Felicia had gone to her room to change into something presentable. Since I was already dressed appropriately, I'd stayed to help.
"Peter," the older woman said at last.
"Yes, Mrs. Hardy?" I replied.
"When the guests arrive, I need you to excuse yourself," she said, without even looking at me.
"But —"
"No buts," she cut me off. "You are in my house, young man, and you will conduct yourself accordingly. I will not have my daughter throw her future away on someone who, frankly, doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I understand young people make impulsive choices — Lord knows I made my share. But you are simply not the kind of person I see my daughter building a life with. So please — don't make a scene."
I was boiling inside. Did this woman have any idea who she was talking to? Me? Going nowhere? On the streets?! What in the hell?
On the outside, I was perfectly calm. I nodded slowly. "Tell me, Mrs. Hardy — do you actually know who I am?"
"What do you mean?"
"You barely knew my name five minutes ago, let alone my academic record, my living situation, or what I actually do. And yet here you are, judging me as though you do. Why is that?" She met my gaze and then her eyes dropped to my clothes. "Oh. I see. Yeah — I suppose I understand. I don't exactly dress like someone of high social standing. But I promise you, I have other qualities that might actually impress you."
"Such as?"
"Well, for one thing, I'm the reason your daughter is passing physics," I said with a mild shrug.
"You're tutoring her?" she asked, genuinely surprised.
"Yes. I'm quite bright, as it happens." She looked sceptical — which, to be fair, was her right. She sighed. "Fine. Perhaps I spoke too hastily. The issue remains, however — tonight is important and I can't afford any complications. I accept that you deserve my proper attention, and I'll give it to you...soon. If you and Felicia are still together by then." She paused. "But tonight, I need you to make yourself scarce. Do you understand?"
I sighed. "Perfectly." Bitch.
Felicia came back and I thought about telling her what her mother had said. But I honestly didn't want another fight between the two of them tonight, so I simply told her it would be better if I came back another time when her mother could give us her full attention.
Felicia didn't like it. But she understood. We talked for a while before the doorbell rang.
"They're here," Felicia's mother — whose name I'd since learned was Valerie — quickly went to the door. She paused and turned to us. "Remember — best behaviour, both of you."
"Yes, Mum," Felicia said flatly.
Valerie's eyes settled on me. Her unspoken instruction hung in the air. I nodded. "Understood."
"Good." She turned back to the door, composed herself, and threw it open with a bright smile. "Norman! So glad you could make it!"
"Thank you, Valerie," a tall man in a business suit stepped in. "You have a lovely home." He turned and looked at someone behind him with an expression of barely restrained irritation before gesturing them forward. A familiar figure appeared — Harry, looking sheepish. "You remember my son Harry?"
"Hello, Mrs. Hardy," Harry smiled awkwardly. "Lovely home."
I could not believe this. Norman Osborn. Again. This man was like a bad penny — I simply could not seem to go anywhere without running into him. And if this was how things were going now, one could only imagine what it would be like once he went full Green Goblin.
"Welcome, Norman — please, come in," Valerie smiled, ushering them inside. "Will anyone else be joining you tonight?"
"No, just the two of us and —" He looked past Valerie and spotted me and Felicia standing at the far end of the room. His face immediately broke into a warm, surprised grin. "Well, I didn't expect to see you here!"
I smiled back. "Hey there, Dr. Osborn. Good to see you."
"Fine, Peter, just fine!" Norman smiled, then turned to Felicia. "And that must be your daughter, Valerie?"
Valerie blinked, caught off guard by Norman's familiarity, before composing herself. "Y-yes, Felicia — come here, please." Felicia let out a quiet groan as she stepped to her mother's side and received a one-armed hug. "My pride and joy. I understand she and Harry go to the same school?"
Norman nodded. "Yes, I believe so."
"Oh, how wonderful!" Valerie smiled. "Felicia, why don't you show Harry around the house?"
Harry gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "That would be lovely." I very much wanted to introduce his teeth to the floor.
"Peter," Valerie turned to me pleasantly, "don't you have somewhere to be?"
I looked at her steadily. "Do I?"
"Ah, yes — you did mention it, didn't you?" Valerie was clearly annoyed, but there was absolutely no way I was leaving Harry Osborn alone near Felicia.
"I don't think so, actually," I said.
"Oh, were you planning to leave, Peter?" Norman asked, looking genuinely surprised.
"I was briefly considering it — work called — but I told them I was busy." I moved to stand beside Felicia, drawing a quiet look of surprise from her as I wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "So I'll be staying."
Valerie looked outraged. Harry looked a little nervous. Felicia smiled at me. Norman let out a hearty laugh. "Wonderful! I've been meaning to speak with you properly for some time now. How fortunate."
That seemed to shake Valerie out of her indignation. She blinked at him. "I'm sorry — do you know Peter?"
"Know him? Valerie, this young man single-handedly saved my company!" Norman declared.
"What?!" Harry looked as though he'd been slapped. Valerie wore a matching expression.
"What's he talking about?" Felicia murmured.
"I stopped one of his science experiments from going critical and taking out half a city block," I murmured back.
"Oh. As Spider-Man?"
"Nope."
"You are telling me that story."
"Yup," I confirmed.
"Now, Peter — what brings you here? I must admit I was surprised to see you," Norman smiled.
"Just visiting my girlfriend," I gave Felicia's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I didn't realise I was walking into a dinner party. My apologies."
"Oh, don't apologise — I'm delighted. And what a fine choice, if I may say," Norman nodded approvingly at Felicia. "I'm sure she'll grow up to be a remarkable woman, much like her mother."
Felicia received the compliment with glacial warmth. "Thanks."
"Forgive me, Norman, but how exactly do you know Peter?" Valerie pressed once more. Oh, so now she knew my name. Funny how that worked.
"Well, it's quite connected to the energy contract, as it happens," Norman explained. "At the Christmas party — I'd invited Peter as a personal thank-you. He saved Harry's life during the Stark Expo, and if I recall correctly, he also saved your own daughter."
Valerie's eyes went wide. "What?!" She turned to Felicia. "What happened?!"
Felicia rolled her eyes. "I told you, Mum. A couple of those Hammer drones went rogue and tried to kill us. It's like you don't even listen."
"And if I recall correctly," Norman continued, "Peter made quite sure none of our children ended up in a far worse condition." He chuckled at his own understated phrasing.
"Is that so?" Valerie turned to me.
I shrugged. "It was nothing."
"Either way, he had my gratitude," Norman went on. "So I invited him to the party — partly to show him what Oscorp was working toward, and partly, I'll admit, in the hope of persuading him to consider leaving his current employer."
"Never going to happen," I said pleasantly.
"You can't blame a man for trying," Norman chuckled.
"I'm sorry — current employer?" Valerie asked carefully. "Where does Peter work?"
"The Baxter Building," I supplied, with perhaps slightly more satisfaction than was strictly necessary. She thought I was nobody. Fair enough.
"T-the Baxter Building? With the Fantastic Four?" Valerie stammered.
"Yeah, Mum — he knows them personally," Felicia smirked. "He even has Johnny Storm on speed dial. Which honestly irritates me a little, considering I'm his girlfriend and I'm not on speed dial."
"That was a very long time ago, I've forgotten all about —" I pulled out my phone and looked at the contacts. Johnny Storm, speed dial. "Ah...yeah, sorry, Kitten. I'll fix that."
Norman chuckled. "Well, in any case — when I invited him to the party, he walked in, took one look at Dr. Octavius's machine, and in under two minutes had identified a critical flaw that would have potentially destroyed the entire demonstration — and cost me a rather significant amount of money and credibility. I have never seen anything like it."
I blinked. He was right. Without even fully meaning to, I had effectively prevented not one but two of my future adversaries from reaching their worst potential. Had both the Green Goblin and Doctor Octopus been averted in one evening? I dearly hoped so.
"Really?" Valerie looked at me with something approaching recalibration. I held her gaze and raised a quiet eyebrow. Not just nobody now, was it?
"Indeed," Norman nodded. "Now, Valerie — I believe we have business to discuss. Harry, why don't you take Peter and Felicia and find something to occupy yourselves? I'm sure all of this won't be of much interest to you." He finished with a barb that Harry absorbed without visible protest.
"Yes, Father," Harry said quietly. I raised an eyebrow. He really did take that lying down.
Felicia led Harry and me to her room, where I spent most of the time quietly boring a hole through the back of Harry's skull with my eyes. He gulped. Neither of us was particularly chatty, and Felicia was clearly just as unimpressed with him as I was. We kept things polite and surface-level, steering well clear of anything sensitive — such as MJ, or the fact that Harry was, objectively, an enormous tool.
Eventually Valerie and Norman concluded their business and we all gathered for dinner. It turned out to be a reasonably pleasant affair, actually. Norman Osborn, whatever his many faults, could carry a conversation. He was possibly the most self-serving individual I had ever encountered — but I understood it. He had built everything he had through relentless effort and had earned every right to be proud of it. And I understood, too, why he found Harry such a disappointment.
"So, Peter — what's the next big thing coming out of the Baxter Building?" Norman asked.
"Nothing too revolutionary just at the moment," I shrugged. "We recently patented a device that functions as a digital archive — essentially a more advanced version of an e-reader. We've sold the production rights to Amazon. They're expected to begin manufacturing in around five months."
"Ah — setting up a reliable revenue stream. Very sensible," Norman nodded.
"Sue handles all of the business side," I said. "She's extraordinary, honestly. Without her the Baxter Foundation would have gone under inside a week."
"Ah yes, Sue Storm — very...impressive," Norman said, and there was something in his tone that gave me a fairly clear picture of the nature of his admiration. How utterly unsurprising.
He continued, "Now, Peter — I've been looking over some of the Baxter Building's recent patents, and I came across something rather remarkable." He met my eyes directly. "Parker Blood. Do you know it?"
I wasn't going to pretend surprise. I also wasn't going to play small. I smiled. "Know it? I invented it."
"You did?" Harry looked startled.
"Yes. Who else would name an invention 'Parker'?" I said. Valerie looked taken aback. Harry looked annoyed. Felicia looked curious — I didn't exactly advertise this kind of thing to her.
"I expected as much," Norman smiled. "I looked over the patent — genuinely ingenious. Have you determined how you plan to market it?"
"Honestly, no. Making those plans is Sue's department. The rest of us just bring her the inventions and give our input," I shrugged.
"Ah, so she's the one I should be speaking with," Norman nodded. "The energy transfer efficiency is quite remarkable — very nearly lossless. Truly an impressive mark on your record, Peter. Honestly, I don't understand why you're still in school. Your abilities could be put to far better use in the working world."
I shrugged. "I know that. But I'm also not in a rush. I'm a kid, Mr. Osborn. Some people want to skip past all of that, but I can't bring myself to. I want to actually live my youth before I have to be an adult. There are so many brilliant minds who took the fast track and came out the other side not knowing how to be human — valuing their own intelligence over actual people. I don't want to end up like that. I don't want to be an emotionless machine."
Norman nodded slowly. "That is a remarkably mature and considered position, Peter." He glanced at Harry. "If only more young people thought the same way."
I won't lie — there was a part of me that enjoyed watching Harry be compared unfavourably to me and come up short. It's not a part of me I'm particularly proud of. But it was there. So I just nodded and said nothing.
"Well, this has certainly been a most...illuminating dinner," Valerie said, looking at me with noticeably different eyes than she had two hours ago.
"It has indeed," Norman checked his watch. "Oh dear — it's gotten late. We really must be going." He stood, and everyone rose with him. We walked to the door. Valerie opened it.
"I hope you'll keep in mind what we discussed," she said to Norman.
"You have my word," he nodded, then turned to me. "A genuine pleasure, Peter. Unexpected, but very welcome. I'll be in touch with the Baxter Foundation regarding your invention — I'm sure Otto will find it fascinating."
"I'll look forward to it," I said.
The Osborns left. Valerie closed the door and turned to face me and Felicia. She studied us both for a long moment, saying nothing. Then she exhaled. "It was good to get to know you a little better, Peter. I do hope to see you again. Felicia — say your goodbyes. I'm sure Peter's colleagues are wondering where he's been." She disappeared into the kitchen without another word.
My girlfriend turned to me and smiled. "The way you handled my mother was...quite something."
I grinned. "You're welcome. And I won't pretend — that did feel rather good. I understand what you mean about her now."
"Now you know," she said. She pressed a soft kiss to my lips. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She whispered, "Knock on my window in an hour. You still owe me."
I bit her neck gently and murmured back, "I know. And you owe me too, Kitten." I pulled away and left.
I came back exactly as promised. Needless to say, we had a very enjoyable evening.