Combined with his well-known conflict with Flay, the looks carried meanings no one dared to speak aloud. Knowing he could neither explain nor justify himself, Siegfried held Haro and prepared to leave Ganaku. He was stopped when Mu grabbed him.
"You need to give me an explanation, kid. This is not something a comrade-in-arms should do. I do not care about your conflict with that girl, but Eighth Fleet is our ally, and you cannot do this."
"I am sorry, Captain Flaga. I am tired. I will accept any punishment, that is all."
He shook off Mu's hand and coldly refused to explain further. Holding Haro, he turned and walked away. Along with Flay's furious screaming, the news quickly spread throughout the Archangel.
Murrue tried to contain the rumors, but on a ship full of civilians, orders alone had little effect. It was not only Siegfried who felt the change. Even Kira noticed the strange looks.
The maintenance crew who once treated him kindly now whispered with their backs turned. Marduk tried to speak several times but stopped himself each time. Among his closest companions, Miri and Tolle were still normal, but Katz completely avoided him.
Flay's gaze toward Kira carried an unmistakable hatred. In the corridor, Siegfried once again encountered the innkeeper's little girl. This time there was no cheerful greeting, only her confused eyes as the owner held her tightly.
Back in the room, Lacus was already gone, unable to stay after the battle had turned out this way. Before Cagalli could say anything, Siegfried angrily smashed Haro onto the floor. In the past, it would have snapped back immediately, but now it made no sound at all.
"They all say you did it out of anger. I do not believe that, and I want to hear your answer."
She reached out, then stopped halfway, feeling a strange emptiness in her chest. Siegfried looked at her hand and replied with a voice colder than ever.
"Yes, you heard it right. I did it to vent my anger. That is the kind of person I am."
The familiar warmth had not yet faded, but his words shattered the last of her hope. He continued without looking away.
"Yes, because I am a Coordinator, so venting anger is normal. Yes, I am that kind of despicable person. So keep your distance, Cagalli Yula Athha."
Hearing this, Cagalli hesitated no longer and reached out as she always had. A sudden force knocked her hand away, sharp enough to teach her what pain meant. Siegfried froze for an instant, then resumed his blank expression.
He picked up Haro from the floor and left the room without a word. Alarms soon echoed across the ship with repeated announcements calling personnel to the combat briefing room. The unrest aboard the Archangel only grew worse.
Knowing he could not avoid it, Siegfried went to the briefing room, where the three senior officers were waiting. Badgiruel unexpectedly spoke first.
"Sai, I need you to explain your actions today. No matter your reasons or grievances, as long as you speak, I can consider them."
She clearly intended to frame the incident as a mistake caused by impulse. Siegfried shook his head.
"Lieutenant, there is nothing I can explain. Everyone on the bridge saw it clearly. Even if you tried to cover for me, the entire ship already knows. We have lost the most basic thing needed to work together, trust."
"We trust you, as long as you can…"
"Do not fool yourselves. You still have Kira and Assault. ZAFT cannot reorganize its forces anytime soon after today's defeat, so this is when you need me least. I will accept any punishment. Even if I am not part of the Earth Alliance, letting this end lightly would leave you unable to answer to everyone."
Seeing his refusal to defend himself, Murrue looked uneasily at her deputy, then at Mu as the nominal MS commander. When both nodded, she announced the decision.
"From today onward, Sai Crossroad is forbidden from operating or approaching mobile suits. He is also confined to his room until the Archangel joins up with the Eighth Fleet."
Siegfried nodded in acceptance and stood to leave. Badgiruel quickly stepped in front of him and spoke in a firm tone.
"No matter your reasons or whether you are a professional soldier, this way of fighting is unacceptable. That is something you taught me, and I think you understand that."
"Yes, I understand."
His reply carried no emotion. Under her frown, the boy dragged his exhausted body out of the room.
"I do not believe that kid would do something like this."
Mu slammed his fist on the table as if to emphasize his words. Murrue sighed softly.
"I do not believe it either, Captain. But you saw the battle more clearly than anyone. Reality does not lie, and he refuses to explain. We have no other choice."
Outside the briefing room, Kira was anxiously waiting. Siegfried looked at him in confusion, unable to understand why he was there.
"I was afraid they would punish you, so…"
"Do you not hate me, Kira? That was Flay's father's ship. It was sunk because I let it happen. Do you feel no hatred at all, Kira Yamato?"
"I think Sai has his own pain, and things I cannot understand. But I believe this was not what you intended, so…"
"Heh, you really are too kind, Kira. You should worry about that little princess instead. Your friend's fiancée. From now on, most people on this ship will not hide their hostility toward Coordinator anymore, so you should think about what she will do."
Without his usual casual gesture, Siegfried turned away. His back disappeared around the corner, leaving only an awkward silence behind.
Siegfried was not trying to drag Kira down with him. On the contrary, he had his own small calculations. Right now, all the dissatisfaction aboard the Archangel was focused on him, and if Kira made a few quiet moves at this time, the pressure on him would be far less than before. No matter how unhappy people were with the two young Coordinator pilots, the desire to stay alive was the most honest thing of all, and with only Kira left as an MS pilot, throwing away that last shield would be foolish for a ship that might one day shape the course of history.
What left Siegfried feeling helpless was not only Hilde's situation. No matter how anxious he was, he still had to wait until they could meet face to face. What stood in front of him right now was Cagalli, who refused to move out of his room.