Jay's POV
Just when we thought the kitchen had survived the 19-spoon coffee apocalypse, grandma calmly dusted her hands like nothing happened.
Grandma: "Hmm. Coffee is done."
Everyone exhaled in relief.
Calix: "We lived."
Mayo: "I saw my ancestors."
Felix: "I'm still single and still scared."
I was about to guide grandma away from the kitchen like a bomb squad escorting a threat when—
She turned back.
Grandma: "You all look weak. I'll make an energy drink."
The house went silent.
Not dramatic silent.
Horror-movie silent.
Me: "Grandma… what kind of energy drink?"
Grandma (already walking): "The strong one."
Angelo: "WHY IS NO ONE STOPPING HER?"
Lia: "Because she doesn't listen!"
Section E + girlfriends + cousins + siblings all followed her like doomed villagers.
The Second Disaster Begins
A few minutes later, grandma walked out holding a NEON BLUE mug.
I mean—
It was glowing.
Like radioactive-glowing.
Rory: "Why does it look like alien blood?"
Kit: "Is it supposed to shine?"
Eren: "I've dated crazy girls but never glowing drinks."
Freya (grabbing Erdix's arm): "I don't like this."
Mica: "Same. I suddenly miss exams."
Rakki: "That mug is threatening me."
Ella: "Jay… why is your grandma like this?"
I swallowed.
Me: "Grandma… what is that?"
She smiled proudly.
Grandma: "Energy drink."
Everyone: "...."
Then she added—
Grandma: "Extra energy drink."
Percy: "Define extra."
She casually lifted the packet.
And that's when we saw it.
On the packet, written in BIG RED LETTERS:
⚠️ WARNING:
Senior citizens are NOT allowed to drink.
Adults: only HALF SPOON permitted.
Children: strictly prohibited.
My heart stopped.
Me (slowly): "Grandma… how much did you add?"
She thought for a second.
Grandma: "The whole packet."
Collective Trauma
Everyone: "THE WHOLE WHAT?!"
Calix: "THAT'S NOT A DRINK, THAT'S A CHEMICAL EXPERIMENT."
Erdix: "This violates multiple laws."
Aries: "My horoscope did not warn me about this."
Honey: "Percy, if she drinks that, I'm blaming you."
Percy: "WHY ME?!"
Grace clutched baby Grazel Jay.
Grace: "My child will not witness this."
Baby Grazel Jay laughed.
Denzel: "Why is she enjoying this?"
Grandma raised the mug.
Grandma: "Who wants to taste?"
Everyone jumped back like the mug had teeth.
Felix: "I CHOOSE LIFE."
Mayo: "I HAVEN'T FINISHED MY BUCKET LIST."
Rory: "I STILL OWE MONEY."
The SCARY PART
Grandma took a sip.
A BIG one.
Time froze.
Her eyes widened.
The mug shook.
Me: "Grandma…?"
She slammed the mug on the table.
Grandma: "WOW."
Everyone: "?????"
Suddenly—
She started pacing.
FAST.
Grandma: "Why is everyone moving so slow?"
Lia: "She's vibrating."
Angelo: "She's vibrating."
Then—
She did TEN PUSH-UPS.
Angelo: "NOPE."
Calix: "I'M CALLING THE POLICE."
Freya: "SHE'S TOO POWERFUL."
Grandma stood up straight.
Grandma: "I feel young."
Me: "Grandma, you just broke physics."
Then she looked at us.
Grandma: "Who wants another cup?"
Everyone (SCREAMING): "NOOOOOOOO—"
I dropped onto the couch, laughing and crying at the same time.
We survived coffee.
We survived energy drink.
We may not survive this house.
Section E, family, girlfriends, siblings—all chaos, all noise, all love.
And my grandma?
She walked back to the kitchen.
Grandma: "I think I'll try green next."
Everyone: "SOMEBODY HIDE THE POWDERS."
And honestly?
I've never laughed this hard in my life. 😭💙