After collecting his thoughts, Lu Yang finally calmed down.
All that embarrassing nonsense?
That was done by an idiot.
What did it have to do with him, Lu Yang?
Once his emotions settled, he flipped open his textbooks and quickly realized that they weren't much different from the ones in his original world.
Just as cryptic as ever.
After barely surviving the first class, Lu Yang bolted out the moment the bell rang. He shot straight toward the rooftop—only to discover that the final door leading up was locked.
Staring at the stainless-steel door, Lu Yang sneered.
He took a few steps back, sped up, lifted his leg, and kicked—
"Tss—!"
The door didn't move an inch.
Meanwhile, Lu Yang's right leg trembled in pain.
"Damn…"
Unable to get onto the rooftop, Lu Yang zipped back to the classroom and asked his deskmate.
"Hey, Suibai. Who keeps all the keys at school?"
"Keys?" Xue Suibai lowered her voice and leaned closer.
"Probably the head of discipline. Haven't you seen the huge ring of keys hanging from his waist? You can hear them jingling from halfway down the hall."
Just mentioning the head of discipline made her subconsciously quiet down even more.
Congao High strictly followed the Basic Law of Survival—its head of discipline was a vicious, middle-aged uncle.
Not only did he meet the minimum standard for a Mediterranean bald head and beer belly, his disciplinary record was legendary.
Plenty of students who'd broken rules under his watch had suffered punishments far beyond what they deserved.
"Wow," Lu Yang muttered
"I'm serious," Xue Suibai whispered nervously, constantly glancing at the window.
"Not long ago, a student climbed the wall to buy spicy rice noodles. He got suspended on the spot. I heard his family had to bring money in person just to get him reinstated."
She pushed up her glasses, clearly afraid that a shiny bald head might suddenly pop up outside the window.
"I see."
Lu Yang stroked his chin.
Getting the keys from that guy was definitely going to be troublesome.
With an enemy this brutal, charging in alone would be suicide.
Even Naruto needed a three-man squad, didn't he?
As soon as the dismissal bell rang in the afternoon, Lu Yang rushed out of the classroom without even grabbing his backpack.
"Hey, Lu Yang! Your bag!" Xue Suibai picked it up kindly. "Your homework's still inside!"
Lu Yang waved without turning his head.
"No need—that's your homework. I'll copy it tomorrow."
Leaving behind a completely dumbfounded Xue Suibai, Lu Yang swaggered off. After reaching the fifth floor, he circled halfway around the building and blocked two male students heading home with backpacks.
The moment he saw them, Lu Yang ground his teeth in rage. He grabbed a broom leaning against a classroom door and charged forward with a vicious expression.
Faced with his murderous aura, the two boys immediately demonstrated outstanding survival instincts—hugging their heads and squatting down.
"Don't hit! Don't hit!"
"Hey! It was Yuanzi who told you to chase the taxi! It had nothing to do with me!"
"Bullshit, Jiang Hai! You were the one talking about 'love,' 'dying romantically,' 'idol drama scenes,' and 'touching the taxi glass like touching her face'!"
"Damn it, was I wrong?! It was romantic—almost romantically fatal!"
"Ohhh, Jiang Hai admitted it! Culprit's been found—hurry up and smash him!"
"I'll smash you first, you bastard!"
The noise gave Lu Yang a headache.
These two were his best friends.
The tall, skinny one was Jiang Hai. The slightly chubby one was Yuan Huihong.
In his previous world, they'd been his best friends too.
"Enough! Shut up!"
Lu Yang roared, instantly silencing both of them. He pointed at them, looking utterly heartbroken.
"You two—you—destroyed my reputation! Ruined half my life!"
"Pfft—"
Yuan Huihong almost burst out laughing, then desperately tried to suppress it, his cheeks twitching uncontrollably.
"What are you laughing at?" Lu Yang snapped.
"I just thought of something happy," Yuan Huihong said seriously.
"Our English teacher forgot to assign homework today."
"Pfft—"
Jiang Hai cracked too.
"And what are you laughing at?!" Lu Yang whipped around.
"I also thought of something happy," Jiang Hai said, rubbing his nose.
"I'm in the same class as Yuanzi."
"…I'll say it one more—forget it."
Lu Yang gave up on revisiting the taxi-chasing incident.
Sure, these two idiots had egged him on—but the decision to chase was still his, and the crash was his own fault.
Thinking about it made him want to slap himself.
Did the original owner really not understand that simping gets you nothing?
Dogs and humans weren't even the same species, damn it!
"So what's this 'serious business'?" Jiang Hai asked.
"Change locations."
Lu Yang dragged them into an empty music classroom.
Jiang Hai and Yuan Huihong sat down. Lu Yang stood on the podium and explained his plan to get the keys from the head of discipline.
The moment he finished, the two erupted.
"Yangzi, this isn't how you seek death—Yan the Old Devil isn't human!"
"This is not something you test! You test it and you die!"
"The keys are literally hanging on his waist—how are we supposed to get them?!"
"..."
Knock knock
"Enough."
Lu Yang tapped the blackboard, scanning their faces.
"One question."
"Are you in, or not?"
"In!"
"In!"
The two answered instantly.
Lu Yang smiled faintly.
Different universe—same idiots.
They didn't even ask why he needed the keys.
"So what's the plan?" Jiang Hai finally asked something sensible.
"Excellent question."
Lu Yang nodded approvingly, then pulled out several black garbage bags. He cut three holes into one and precisely pulled it over his head—eyes and mouth perfectly exposed.
And just like that—
A garbage-bag criminal was born.
"We're modern youths," Lu Yang declared seriously.
"No underhanded tricks. We do this openly."
"Directly knock him out and rob him."
He tossed the garbage bags onto the desk in front of them.
Jiang Hai and Yuan Huihong stared, stunned.
"I need to call my mom," Jiang Hai trembled, pulling out his phone.
"I'll reincarnate back into her womb next year."
"I'll find someone," Yuan Huihong said, scrolling frantically.
"Someone tried selling me insurance yesterday—hello? Hello? Beneficiary name: my mom!"
"Relax," Lu Yang said calmly.
"It's not that dangerous."
He pulled out a box of stamp ink.
"I climbed out during lunch to buy this."
They leaned in.
"We just need to press the keys into the ink to get impressions. No need to take the keys. Stamp them and run. We take routes without cameras, wear the bags—he won't know who we are."
Jiang Hai and Yuan Huihong exchanged looks, then picked up the bags.
"Hell yeah! I've hated Old Devil Yan for ages!"
"Knock him out! That bastard's committed countless crimes—today, we Three Legendary Ninjas shall deliver judgment!"
They cut three holes into their bags and pulled them over their heads.
And just like that—
The so-called Legendary Ninjas were officially assembled.