Today the house was full of relatives,
and my mind found no space to study.
I wore new clothes,
but happiness refused to sit on my shoulders.
Once, I had imagined—
after two, three, maybe five years,
new clothes would feel different,
and I would share that quiet joy with him.
Then a message arrived—
asking me why i delete everything from my account.
How do you erase something
that has already rooted itself in your heart,
even when time together was so little,
yet the meaning was so much?
My phone was switched off.
When I finally read the message,
there was no missed call, no reply—
only a strange silence growing inside me.
I still don't know
whether I should turn things back on or let them sleep.
And then, another dream found me.
My brother and I were playing cricket at home.
The ball slipped away, crossed boundaries—
and someone returned it.
It was him.
For a moment, happiness startled me.
I looked at him, said a soft sorry,
and just like that—
my eyes opened.
Dreams really do know
where to touch the deepest.
I ussually don't chase people—
not because I don't care,
but because I don't know
if being chased ever feels like happiness.
So I've learned to stop my thoughts
before they wander too far.
My future plans feel quieter now,
yet firm.
Top University.
Art culture.
Government exams with practicals waiting ahead.
There's hardly any time left
to overthink tomorrow.
Before everything,
I want to test myself.
College entrance exam preparation—
not just as an exam,
but as a way to give my heart
something else to hold.
Once my plans are clear,
I'll finally have a reason
to stay busy,
to look away from thoughts
that ask for too much.
I once believed that
after my admission,
the first holiday would take me to him—
a few moments of happiness,
shared softly.
But if my dreams shatter,
I know I won't survive that pain easily.
So I want a busy life—
a life that keeps me standing
even when tears fall,
a life where I don't need
to lean on anyone to cry.