I wallowed too far in my sorrow, the dealer was kind with the dope. I stumbled down the street, feeling like a shitty T.V trope. They'd said I was the golden baby. They said I did it with ease and no wrong. I felt the pressure weigh down on me for a good long while, and I couldnt shake it off. I saw dogs shake off water droplets when they got wet, even when coated in their thick fur. I had no hair on my body, yet the trouble remained nailed on me, digging in my skin. It weighed constantly, constantly, constantly. Droplets. Water. Golden.
I saw stars, tripping over myself like a newborn fawn. Stumbling. I saw everything and nothing at the same time. They had said I had changed. That I had "disappointed my fate." They raved on about how much better I was suppoed to be than this. But where were they I hadn't seen them in years.
And even doped out my fucking mind, I couldn't see them now.
I stumbled out of my apartment, not wanting to stay trapped in that memory box. My brain kind of tuned out anything else around me. I heard the pitter patter of shoes, families, and other bogus humans around me. Their incessant chatter about "The game tomorrow", or "Checking up on whositwhatsit."
Damn it, Scott. Your feet are moving before your brain can even fucking catch up. I almost stumble into an old lady, and her muscled up grandson puffs his chest, akin to a baloon.
"Watch where you're fucking going!" He bellowed. Arrogant alpha male egotistical fuckwit. I hated this archetype. I didn't respond to him, my legs moving forward without pause. I opened my mouth, forming an apology, but it snapped shut. My fingers turned white as I clenched my fists.
He looked me up and down and scoffed, deciding I wasn't worth his time.
"Hey fucker! I shoved your damn grandma! What're you gonna fucking do? Huh? Come fucking get some! Think you're mister tough guy? Tough guy fucker! Suck my dick! You're probably packing real small!"
His look of anger melted away, and his eyes narrowed at me. He turned away, simply clutching his grandma closer to him. He looked as if he had an understanding. The others walking on the sidewalk took the long route around me.
"That was pretty gay, man." A voice came from beside me.
I slammed my fists against the side of my head. Fucking people. Normies. Shitheads. I need some fucking dope. Fucking dealer. Im hungry. Im not fucking hungry. I felt the impact of my fists reverberate throughout my entire head. The sheer force of my own strikes wobbled me abit.
A sudden wave of calm overtook me, and I realized that I had just been hitting the side of my head like an absolute lunatic! Yet nobody had cared. They'd just written me off as typical white trash, addicted to fucking heroin, no damn job, and living off a weekly five-hundred. They probably knew I used to have a real nice job too. NASA. I worked at fucking NASA. They probably knew about my mom, too. They knew how she disowned me, they had the same disappointment in her eyes.
I felt like throwing up, my stomach bubbling. Pitter patter. No shoes this time, but my heart in my chest. Lungs. I breathed in and out, hard and fast, almost collapsing on the side of the damn street.
"Hey, you alright?" I felt a firm hand on my shoulder, and I looked up and saw an absolute babe. What is she looking at? Is she even looking at me or inside me? Through my eyes, could she see everything? No, no, she's fucking with me. Im 29, and somehow I'm already going through a midlife crisis.
"I said, are you alright!" She raised her voice, a bit louder. "You deaf or something? You're freaking everyone the fuck out with all your yelling-"
I didnt fucking yell, lying ass bitch. Whore.
"Yell? You think Im some kinda pussy or something?" I cocked my hand back, brimming with energy to slap this woman. Only weak men yell or raise their voice, I didnt do that shit. I was better, I was the fucking Gold.
She narrowed her eyes, and grabbed my collar. "You some kinda insane? Maybe we really should call the fucking cops!"
I shoved her off me, and began sprinting full speed away. Right into uncoming traffic, who honked their loud, blaring, emphatic horns. My ears began to ring, and I picked at my dishevled and greasy hair. A few muttered curses in my breath. I took one step, then another step, and I was walking on water. I could sprint here, I could run here, and my head was clearer than it ever fucking was.
Golden. Droplets.
I kept going. All I saw was water upon water. Is this what they called the ocean? Screams rung out in the sky, high pitched. My ear drums were shattered, and I wanted to stop, but my feet lifted, and settled forward. My feet rippled through the water. I knew I was meant to be great. I knew I was meant to be something.
I blinked, and I was on solid sand. I hissed, feeling a hot searing pain shoot through the bottom of my feet. I finally felt the dried blood from my ears on my neck, and when I glanced down, the top of my shirt was drenched with my liquid red innards. A look forward, and I knew I was golden. A look forward, and the dope was gone. I glanced backwords and I almost stumbled. I knew I wouldnt be here long. I wondered anyone had noticed, if they'd been listening along. I'd always been deserving. That's why I write this song.
---
The sun settled upon the dark form of scott. His eyes were now blooshot red, his clothes were bloodied, and his teeth were piss yellow. He looked sick and gangly, but he was the best looking motherfucker on this planet. This island, he would conquer. Discover all the damn secrets. And then when he left, he'd become great again. Greater than anyone else had ever been. He was the chosen.
To think his life was over was idiocy in it's purest form. He didn't walk forward, he crawled forward. Deeper into the island. The island was colossal in size. The trees were large, but the branches had eyes. They could feel his heart beat, and his lies. He'd become an athlete in these vines. The best ever. Who was he? The best. He hadn't betrayed his destiny, he made the damn thing.
Crazy? Who, dickhead?
The sky was a blend of gorgeous cerulean, and a withering yellow that would burn someones eyes. They blended terribly, akin to oil and water. The sun had a face, and it was smiling. It's teeth were humane. It had round, big, bulbous lips, and straight, eerily white teeth. The tongue in the middle was lacking of any blemishes, but it's eyes were pitch black.
".ereh uoY .niK"