He was right there in that narrow part of arrivals. The lights made everything look washed out, like old bones or something.
Not walking back and forth. Not even looking around much. Just standing, hands stuffed in his coat pockets, shoulders straight, that same serious look on his face. It felt like he had been put there on purpose. Or maybe the whole airport grew up around him.
Julian.
My chest tightened up. Lungs just stopped for a bit.
Two years gone. An ocean between us. I picked up the language over there, but I always spoke it carefully, teeth almost clenched, so his name wouldnt slip out. Built a life in a city where nobody knew my steps or my daily habits. Leaving had been so total at first, even the memories seemed easier to carry.
But now, stepping off the plane, the very first thing I see is him.
I halt suddenly. The suitcase handle digs into my skin. Folks push by, annoyed, their bags rolling like constant ticks. One guy shoulders me, mumbles sorry without glancing.
Up above, the screen blinks arrivals in green and white. Cold, like its monitoring heartbeats or whatever.
His eyes lock on mine right away. Habit, I guess.
Heat builds low in me. Not love. Not even relief. More like a key sliding into place, that click of knowing.
His mouth stays flat. It always does. But it eases just a touch, like hes saving any softness for somewhere private.
You came back, he says once I make my legs work and close the gap. Were close enough to feel each others breath.
His voice hits the same. Correcting, always.
I live here, I get out. The words feel rough coming up. I grew up here.
He glances at my suitcase. Just the one, pretty small. Looks like Im not sticking around.
You didnt tell me you were coming.
Not really asking. More like calm blame.
I didnt tell anyone.
His eyes hold steady, no blink. It presses on me, right in the chest, makes breathing tough. Thats the first thing he ever showed me, without words even.
No privacy. Just permission.
People keep flowing past. Speakers blare about delays, gate shifts, messing up everyone elses plans. Behind him, glass doors whoosh open and closed. Cold sneaks in each time, and when they shut, its like some choice locking down.
He leans closer, voice low for me only.
Do you think distance keeps you out of reach.
My heart jumps. Not straight fear, but close. Older feeling, tangled up. Body knew it before my head could label it.
I tilt my chin up. Practiced that in mirrors abroad. Im not a kid anymore.
His eyes follow my face. Like scanning fine details.
No, he says soft. Youre not.
The quiet after hangs weird. Too close for an airport. Slows everything, dims the lights, pushes noise away. For a second, I feel exposed, like he reads my mind from how I swallow.
Then he pulls back. The moment fades.
Come, he says. Cars outside.
I stay put. Grip the handle harder, knuckles hurt.
He waits. Patient, like he never chases. Things always come back to him.
Im not heading to the house, I say.
His look doesnt shift. But something edges in it. Where then.
Could say hotel. Friend. Some short term place I booked online, paid cash, used part of my name.
Truths messier. Hadnt nailed it down. Part of me hoped, dumb as it was, that slipping home quiet would let me ghost through. Grab what I need, go again, no crossing paths.
Underestimated him. Like forgetting gravity till you drop.
Errands, I say slow. And Im beat.
His eyes drop to my wrist. The watch there. Same one from him, my twenty first birthday. Fits perfect, like measured. Wore it overseas for time at first. Then routine. Once or twice, to push back, so he couldnt claim that too in my head.
He looks up.
Lying, he says, almost kind. But Ill let it slide now.
Allow sticks in my throat, sour.
Dont, I whisper. Dont talk like.
Like what, he asks, even tone. Like I know you.
Flash of memory hits. Unwanted. Him at seventeen, in my bedroom door after I cried too loud. All sharp edges then, long arms, anger mixed with worry. Face open with that duty panic.
Dad was more shadow than real. Money, name, rules. Mom fragile, everyone tiptoed her feelings. Julian stepped up for me. Not soft. Owning. What he was raised for.
Everythingll be yours, they said when he was little, and he took it straight.
Including me.
Didnt get it early. Took time. His control smoothed out too much to miss. Any guy lingering too long just vanished. Like deleted.
Caleb from work. Coffee ask, then texts die. Swallowed by the place. Amir in art, sorry in the hall, eyes scared like he broke rules talking. Theo, one kiss outside bar, gone to another spot fast.
Julian hands clean. Voice steady.
You deserve better, hed say. That cold sure tone.
Better as alone.
Alone as safe.
Safe as his.
Left cause walls pressed. Woke one night, his hand on my door. Not turning knob. Just there, feeling the wood maybe calming him. Shadow under the crack, stretched still. House where sleep wasnt private.
Now here, suitcase in hand, faked courage cracking. Old panic claws.
Not going with you, I say.
He watches like its a game he won already, just playing along.
Then why here, Elena.
My name sounds more his than mine.
Came cause I had to. Harsher than planned. Found something out.
His eyes narrow bit. What.
Not what is it. Not you okay. Just what. Command.
Look past him, glass out to cars waiting. City gray winter steel blur. Somewhere, records room, plain walls, lady avoiding eyes. Folder on desk. Thin sheets, heavy weight.
First see it, thought hands steady. Werent. Held like fire.
Birth records amended.
Two names. Two times. Two babies. One fix, way late.
Nurse note short, sorry. Infants switched by accident in move. Found by adult dna tests. Told parties.
Brain caught on inadvertently. Like it mattered. Life on casual screw up, error file.
Stared at line meant simple, wasnt.
Elena Markova not bio related to parents.
Not blood.
Not theirs.
Not Julians.
Should free me.
Felt like thin ice, cracking maybe.
If not theirs, what to him.
Duty outgrown. Thing owned no label. Issue he fixed so long, liked the feel.
Swallow nausea. Went to city office, I say. For papers.
His face still. Quiet deepens, storm air.
Why without me, he asks soft.
Didnt want permission, I think.
Wanted one thing not through him.
Scared what hed turn if knew.
They reached me, I say steady as can. Issue with birth record.
Silence beat.
He steps in. Cologne hits, dark wood smoke fancy. Tightens memory throat.
What issue.
Dont say right away. Out loud public, real no undo. Door swings.
Hes better at doors.
Switched at birth, I say last. Mouth numb.
Airport noise drops. Building listens maybe.
He no blink. Face controlled, almost bored. Then eyes flicker. Not shock. Not lost.
Knew it.
You knew, I whisper.
Eyes lock.
Suspected, he says. Long time.
Truth slams. Hand on spine. Years watching not guard, plan. Knew ahead. Waited.
Voice shakes anyway. Didnt tell.
His lips part. Restraint shows, new for kid him. Not kind.
Hunger leashed.
Think this changes you to me, he says.
Can barely breathe. Doesnt it.
Leans down. No touch, line not crossed. But close as skin.
Low voice in blood.
Changes what I can say out.
Skin tingles. Face heats, shame sharp. Airport too wide, bright, strangers might see wrong shape us.
Step back. Wheels squeak tile, small weak.
He straightens. Calm again. World tilt his.
Eyes trace face slow, owning. Two years changes noted.
Coming with me. Talk home.
Home sounds built for me before cage name.
Fingers loose on handle, then tight. Hand shakes.
Not yours, I say. Voice tiny, hate it.
Eyes darken.
Never had to be, he says stone calm. Just stop acting not.
Doors slide. Cold on neck. City out, tall gray uncaring.
Hand out, palm up. No touch. Oldest pull. Come here.
Stare at fingers clean, no rings. Think boundaries he set, mine never.
Two years back, ran.
Now still. Flee urge vs want pull from obedience trainer.
No hand take.
No walk away.
That hang moment, real home fear hits.
Not him wreck life.
Part of me might let.
I think thats the messiest bit. It feels like it could go different ways, but yeah. The way he waits, its like gravity or something, hard to shake. Some people might say run faster, others stick to see. Not sure which. The birth thing changes everything, or maybe not as much as id hoped. Kinda leaves it open.