"How could I—"
The London plane tree instinctively tried to deny it, but its mouth kept opening and closing without a single sound coming out.
"Let me guess," Kanzaki Rei said, raising an eyebrow. "You can't lie, can you?"
The plane tree snapped its mouth shut.
"Then let me ask it another way," Rei continued casually. "What's the best thing you own?"
The plane tree's branches stiffened.
"I can't lie, but that doesn't mean I have to tell you anything," it snapped viciously. "Stupid human."
Once exposed, its attitude deteriorated immediately.
"Then let's make a deal, Mr. Tree," Rei said, spreading his hands.
"I don't make deals with humans, damn it," the plane tree cursed loudly.
"You throw me the cane, and I'll throw you the piss," Rei said, forcing down a laugh.
"Why should I believe you?" the plane tree said arrogantly.
"Want a drink?" Rei replied. "Not piss that smells like alcohol—real alcohol. Juice, cola, coffee, milk tea…"
"Stop, stop. You can get all that?"The plane tree straightened its branches.
"Don't forget," Rei said, pointing at his uniform, "I'm a deliveryman from the Bloody Restaurant."
"I know. If you weren't restaurant staff, I could eat you right now," the plane tree said, rolling its eyes.
Several branches snapped forward like venomous snakes, circling above Rei's head in a clear show of force.
Rei's heart skipped.
So it wasn't that he was out of attack range—he just hadn't met certain conditions yet.
Looks like the identity of Bloody Restaurant employee really was a protective layer. No wonder Ushiuma told him to be bold out here.
"I can't guarantee I'll get it," Rei said evenly, "but I guarantee that once I get any drinks, I'll bring them to trade with you."
"…Fine, human. You've convinced me."
The plane tree's branches twitched.
"But you have to say it," it insisted. "Say you're sincerely making a deal with me."
"I'm sincerely—"
"—Oh, purée!"The plane tree exploded into profanity again.
Rei silently watched it completely lose composure, branches and leaves flailing.
"…Fine," it said at last. "I sincerely want to make a deal with you, human."
"Good," Rei said. "Then answer one more thing. How do I complete the trade safely?"
"As long as you don't step onto my soil or take my things without permission, I can't attack you," the plane tree replied bluntly.
Around it was a circle of soil roughly two meters in diameter, the earth nearly pitch-black.
"Then throw me the cane," Rei said, "and give me a container."
"Zut—since when did humans get this clever?"Grumbling, the plane tree tossed over the human bone cane along with a rusty metal can.
"That's because the stupid humans already got eaten by you," Rei sneered.
"What are you so unhappy about?" the plane tree said disdainfully."You humans warm yourselves with our limbs, eat our embryos, drink our blood."
"You're not wrong," Rei nodded.
He returned beneath the camphor tree.
He had no intention of debating a cannibalistic tree. No interest—and no time.
After emptying his reserves, Rei carried the metal can back to the London plane tree.
Standing at the edge of the black soil, he aimed the opening toward its mouth.
"Mince! What are you doing?" the plane tree shouted.
"Feeding you my filtered liquor," Rei said, confused. "What's the problem?"
You were desperate a moment ago—now you're picky?
"I'm a tree," the plane tree snapped. "Do you understand? This mouth is just decoration. My roots are my mouth."
"…My bad."
Rei shrugged and poured the strongly scented, filtered liquid over the exposed root.
"Bien! That's the smell."
The plane tree looked intoxicated.
"Glad you like it," Rei said. "Then goodbye, Mr. Tree. I've got work to do."
He tossed the empty can aside.
"Don't call me Mr. Tree. I have a name," it said irritably."Call me Delacroix."
"Got it, Mr. Delacroix," Rei replied smoothly.
"You—forget it. I won't argue with a stupid human," Delacroix grumbled."Listen. If you can get me a bottle of Ascension Maotai, 53 degrees, I'll give you something truly good."
"I'll try," Rei nodded.
If Ushiuma could get one bottle, it should be possible to get another.
"You won't regret it," Delacroix said meaningfully."If you want to survive working at the restaurant, you'll need it."
Leaving the man-eating tree behind, Rei set off again.
That single piss had cost him time, but the new item more than made up for it.
"By the way… how do you even use this thing?" Rei muttered, swinging the cane experimentally.
"It's a cane. You use it like a cane," Delacroix's irritated voice echoed from behind."You suspicious, idiotic human."
"Oh. Thanks," Rei replied without turning around.
Not bad—after-sales support included.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
With the rhythm of the cane striking the ground, Rei felt his legs grow noticeably lighter.
"Walking faster with a cane than without one," he shook his head."Supernatural stuff really is something else."
He quickened his pace.
Time was running out.
—
Rushing nonstop, Rei finally arrived at the destination with ten minutes to spare.
Merlin Residential Complex.
There was a guard booth at the entrance. Inside, the security guard leaned back in his chair, head tilted up, a peaked cap covering his face—clearly slacking off, maybe asleep.
Rei stared at the booth for a moment and decided not to initiate contact.
Fortunately, although the complex had access control, it was easy to slip around the parking barrier.
He cautiously stepped in with one foot and watched the booth.
When the guard showed no reaction, he brought the other foot in as well.
This instance was full of bizarre rules. Without explicit prompts, caution was mandatory.
"Building 3, Room 503… but which one is Building 3?"
The complex wasn't large. He made a quick circuit and realized there were no building numbers at all.
"…Looks like I'll have to ask someone."
Rei sighed.
Even delivering takeout was this troublesome. Wage slaves in this world really had it rough.
He returned to the gate and knocked on the booth window.
"Hello?"
The guard jolted upright, though his hand didn't move the cap.
"What do you want?" he asked.
His voice was hoarse and thin, like a castrato who'd smoked too much.
"I'm a deliveryman from the Bloody Restaurant," Rei said."Could you tell me which one is Building 3?"
At the words Bloody Restaurant, the guard's cap visibly trembled.
"One piece of meat," he said.
"…What kind of meat?"
"Any kind. One piece of meat for one question."
Rei glanced at the delivery box. The fish heads inside would definitely qualify.
But stealing delivery items would surely bring punishment.
He checked his phone.
Six minutes left.
If he couldn't steal the food, then he'd have to find meat somewhere else.
"Give me a knife," Rei said.
"No need."
The guard removed his cap.
An eel-like head swayed in the air.
Its smooth, scaleless crown split open, revealing concentric rings of tiny teeth.
It darted forward, pressed against Rei's body, slithering around him as if searching for the best place to bite.
"Hurry up," Rei said through clenched teeth."If the delivery's late, we're both screwed."
Maybe that worked.
The eel-head stopped moving, then sank its teeth into Rei's arm.
The agony of flesh being gouged out made cold sweat pour down Rei's forehead, but he bit down hard and made no sound.
And yet—
When the eel-head withdrew, his arm was completely unmarked.
"That one," the guard said, lifting a thick, stubby finger and pointing.
"Thanks."
Ignoring the lingering pain, Kanzaki Rei sprinted toward Building 3.