I shouldn't have gone to her room.
I knew that the moment the door closed behind me, but knowing it didn't stop the way my body reacted when I saw her sitting on the bed with that book in her hands, my book, the one thing in this house that could give her the language for something she wasn't supposed to understand.
I could still smell her on my skin when I left.
Mine in a way that had nothing to do with choice.
I took the stairs two at a time and didn't stop until I was outside, the night air hitting my lungs hard enough to hurt. The courtyard was empty, the patrol already out along the perimeter. Good. No one to see what I was about to lose.
The shift came fast.
This was instinct ripping through bone and muscle, heat spiking under my skin, breath breaking as the change took me.
Four paws hit the ground where my feet had been.
The world snapped into focus.
Scents layered over each other in sharp detail: earth, timber, metal, the faint trail of deer at the edge of the territory, and beneath all of it her.
Even through walls.
Even through distance.
The wolf surged toward it before I pulled him sideways, forcing us toward the outer boundary. Running helped. It burned off the edge of the need, turned it into something I could almost control.
Almost.
The territory opened under me, every path familiar, every marker carrying the scent of my pack. Wolves moved along the perimeter and dipped their heads as I passed, recognizing rank even in this form.
But they also recognized something else.
Agitation.
I didn't slow until I reached the ridge above the eastern line, the highest point before the forest dropped into the valley beyond. I stopped there, chest heaving, claws digging into the dirt.
Her scent was stronger in this direction.
Closer to the house.
Closer than it should have been for my sanity.
– You're running from her, Eren's voice cut through my mind, clear and steady in the way only a Beta's link could be.
I didn't turn, I didn't need to. I could feel him behind me, another wolf cresting the ridge, his presence familiar and grounded.
– I'm running from myself, I answered.
He came to stand beside me, shoulder brushing mine, his attention not on the territory but on me.
– You shifted without warning, he said. In the middle of the night.
Silence settled between us.
– It's her, he said finally.
Not a question.
The bond between Alpha and Beta didn't allow for lies like this.
– Yes.
The word carried more weight than any admission I had made in years.
Eren didn't recoil, didn't show surprise. He just absorbed it, the way he absorbed everything that affected the stability of the pack.
– Human, he said.
– Yes.
– And you're sure.
The wolf pushed forward at that, teeth bared at the memory of her pulse under my hand, the way my control had slipped when she stepped closer instead of away.
– I almost marked her tonight.
The thought carried the image with it, sharp and undeniable.
Eren's hackles lifted, not in aggression, alarm.
– Three days to the full moon, he said.
– I know.
– If you lose control then...
– I know.
The law didn't need to be spoken. We both knew the history it was built on, the Alpha who had taken a human mate without consent, the collapse that followed, the Council's decree.
– You should send her away, Eren said.
The wolf snarled before I could stop him.
– I can't, she's mine.
The words left me before I could shape them into something safer.
The ridge went still.
Eren turned fully toward me, his gaze sharp, searching.
Say that again, he said.
She's my mate.
There was no taking it back once it was spoken in this form, mind to mind, wolf to wolf. No politics, no hierarchy, just truth.
Eren lowered his head slowly.
– Does she know.
– No.
– Does the Council.
– No.
– Good.
The answer surprised me.
– You're not angry, I said.
– I'm concerned, he replied. There's a difference.
He moved past me, pacing the edge of the ridge, thinking in the methodical way that made him the only wolf I trusted with this.
If she stays through the full moon, he said, you won't hold the line.
I've held it so far.
Not in the last hour.
He wasn't wrong.
The memory of her in that room, the book in her hands, the way she had looked at me when she realized I was standing between her and the door, it was enough to send heat through my body even now.
The wolf wanted to go back.
To lie at her door.
To make sure no one else came near.
To mark.
– You're already tracking her constantly, Eren said. The pack feels it. They don't know what it is, but they know your attention is fixed on something.
– I'll manage it.
– You don't manage instinct during a full moon, he said, we will send her away for three days.
– She won't go.
– Then you leave.
– I can't leave the territory during a full moon.
– Then you lock yourself down.
Below us, the forest shifted, night sounds rising and falling, the pack moving along their routes. Everything was as it should have been.
Except this.
– You could tell her, Eren said.
– No.
– Why.
– Because she deserves a choice.
– And if she chooses you.
– Then I break the law.
– And if you don't tell her, he countered, you take that choice away anyway.
There was no good outcome. Only damage control.
I lowered myself to the ground, the wolf's body finally feeling the exhaustion I had been holding back. Eren stayed beside me, a steady presence.
Three days.
– We'll adjust patrols. Keep her away from the outer lines. Keep her busy inside. I'll make sure no one crowds her.
He nudged my shoulder once, brief and solid.
– You're not the first Alpha to have a mate, he said.
– Human.
– You're not the first Alpha to face something the Council doesn't like.
– That didn't comfort me.
But it did steady the edge of the panic that had been building since I left her room.
We stayed there a while longer, watching the territory, letting the link settle back into its usual structure, Alpha and Beta instead of two wolves sharing something that could fracture the pack if mishandled.
When we shifted back, the cold hit harder.
Eren dressed first, handing me the spare clothes we kept in a sealed pack near the ridge for patrol transitions.
– You need distance, until we get through the full moon.
I nodded.
But even as I did, I felt her again.
Inside the house.
The pull wasn't just instinct anymore. It was a constant thread under my skin, pointing me toward her no matter where I stood.
We walked back toward the buildings together, the house rising ahead of us, lights dimmed for the night.
At the edge of the courtyard, I stopped.
Her window was lit.
A faint silhouette moved behind the curtain.
The wolf surged forward again, every instinct focused on that single point, the need to be close overriding reason, law, strategy.
Three days, I reminded myself.
Three days until the full moon.
Three days to figure out whether I was strong enough to protect her from the world I ruled.
Or whether I was the greatest danger she faced inside it.