Chapter 3: The Birth of a Bitter System part-3
Minato crouched on the roof edge, squinting. "He does have ramen," Minato whispered. "And he is wearing his best casual kimono."
(Okay, Minato. We cannot just murder him. That is illegal and Kushina would be mad. We need to ruin the moment. We need to make him look like a fool. Do you have any wind style jutsu that can... I do not know... blow his clothes off? Or knock the soup onto his crotch?)
"I cannot attack a fellow leaf ninja without cause," Minato said, his morals getting in the way.
(Fine,) Ethan sighed. (I will do it. System Ability Activate: Minor Probability Manipulation - The Clumsy Cat.)
Ethan focused his will on a stray cat that was walking along the railing of the balcony just above Hiroto's head. With a digital nudge, the cat "accidentally" slipped. It panicked, scrabbling for purchase, and knocked over a heavy terracotta flower pot sitting on the ledge.
Hiroto raised his hand to knock on the door. "Kushina-san, are you—"
CRASH!
The flower pot plummeted down and smashed directly onto Hiroto's head. It exploded into dust and shards of clay. The impact did not kill him—ninja are tough—but it did cause him to stagger wildly.
"Argh!" Hiroto yelled, stumbling backward.
As he stumbled, his foot caught on the doormat. He pitched forward, the pot of steaming hot miso ramen flying out of his hands.
The laws of physics, guided by Ethan's malicious intent, ensured that the ramen did not just fall. It launched upward in an arc and came down directly on Hiroto's face.
"Gah! It burns! My eyes! The noodles are in my nose!" Hiroto screamed, flailing around covered in soup, noodles, and dirt from the flower pot.
At that exact moment, the door opened.
Kushina Uzumaki stood there. She was a stunning woman with long, vibrant red hair and violet eyes. She was wearing casual house clothes, looking beautiful but definitely lonely. She blinked in confusion at the scene before her.
There was Hiroto, a man she vaguely knew from the village, rolling on the ground screaming about noodles in his nose, covered in dirt, looking absolutely uncool and definitely not romantic.
"What in the world?" Kushina asked, her voice filled with confusion rather than sympathy.
(Now, Minato! Make your entrance!) Ethan commanded. (But act cool. Do not act jealous. Act like you just happened to be passing by and decided to save the day.)
Minato took a deep breath. He flashed away from the roof and appeared instantly beside Kushina, his white cloak settling dramatically around him.
"Minato?" Kushina's eyes widened, lighting up with surprise. "I thought you were working."
"I took a break," Minato said, stepping between Kushina and the flailing Hiroto. He looked down at the mess on the floor. "I sensed a disturbance. It seems... Hiroto-san has had an accident with his dinner."
Hiroto wiped soup from his eyes, looking up to see the Yellow Flash standing tall and heroic, while he lay in a puddle of broth. The "Charisma" buff from his system shattered instantly. You cannot be charismatic when you have a piece of pork belly stuck to your forehead.
"I... I was just..." Hiroto stammered.
"Bringing food?" Minato finished, smiling his trademark dazzling smile. "That is very kind of you, Hiroto. But you seem to be in distress. Perhaps you should go to the hospital to check for burns?"
Kushina covered her mouth to hide a giggle. "You look like a soup monster, Hiroto-san."
Hiroto's face turned bright red, matching the chilies in the ramen. He scrambled to his feet. "I... I have to go! I left my stove on!"
He turned and ran away into the night, his plans for seduction thoroughly ruined by a flower pot and a bowl of soup.
Minato turned to Kushina. The air was awkward for a moment.
(Say it, Minato,) Ethan whispered. (Tell her you missed her.)
Minato rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I am sorry I have been working so late, Kushina. I realized that becoming Hokage does not mean much if I do not have anyone to share the victory with."
Kushina's expression softened. The loneliness in her eyes vanished, replaced by warmth. She reached out and took his hand. "You big dummy. You finally realized that?"
"Yeah," Minato smiled. "Also... that ramen looked wasted. How about I treat you to Ichiraku Ramen? My treat."
Kushina grinned, punching him lightly on the arm. "Now you are talking! Let us go, dattebane!"
As they walked away hand in hand, a notification popped up in Ethan's mind.
[Incident Report:][Threat Neutralized: Hiroto's romantic advance failed.][Host Relationship Health: Increased to 75 percent.][System Reward: 100 System Points.]
(Not bad for a first day,) Ethan thought, settling back into Minato's subconscious as the couple laughed together under the moonlight. (I did not even have to kill anyone. Just his dignity. Being a system might be fun after all.)
World 1: The World of Ninjas (Naruto Universe)
The morning sun filtered through the blinds of Minato Namikaze's apartment, illuminating the dust motes dancing in the air. Minato woke up with a rare smile on his face. For the first time in months, he had slept for more than four hours, and he had not dreamt of paperwork. He had dreamt of Kushina laughing as she devoured a second bowl of ramen.
(Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,) Ethan's voice echoed in Minato's head, cutting through the peaceful silence like a chainsaw through butter. (Time to wake up. We have a relationship to micro-manage and a villain to crush.)
Minato groaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He sat up, the sheet pooling around his waist. "Do you never sleep? What are you, anyway? A spirit? A demon?"
(I told you, I am the manifestation of your subconscious desire to not die alone and miserable,) Ethan lied smoothly. (And no, I do not sleep. While you were drooling on your pillow, I was analyzing the data from last night. We have a problem.)