Chapter 28: The Bunny Fists of Terror and the slippery Mummy part-1
[System Alert: Hand Holding Detected. Checking for Superglue status... Negative. You are safe. For now.]
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Let me just get Pervy Sage down," Naruto said. He picked up a rock and threw it at the tree.
Bonk.
"Ow!" Jiraiya fell out of the tree and hit the ground with a thud.
"Ungrateful brats," Jiraiya groaned, sitting up and rubbing his head. He looked at me. "You... Hyuga girl. You are dangerous. Keep it up."
He gave me a thumbs up.
I blushed and bowed.
............
That evening, I sat in my room at the Hyuga compound. I was exhausted. My chakra was drained. But I felt... happy.
I opened my System panel.
[User Profile]
Name: Hinata HyugaShy Points: 5,800.New Titles: The Muse of Jiraiya / The Fish Slapper.Inventory: Indestructible Leotard, Glasses, Lucky Coin, Towels.
"I need to get stronger for the finals," I told the empty room. "Dosu is going to be serious."
[System Notification: Correct. Dosu is currently training by wrapping himself in barbed wire to prevent unraveling. You need a weapon.]
I browsed the shop.
Item: The "Slip-N-Slide" Oil (500 Points).Skill: "Flashy Entrance" (1,000 Points).Skill: "Lion Fist: Clumsy Variant" (5,000 Points).
My eyes widened. Lion Fist. That was the Hyuga secret technique. But a Clumsy Variant?
"What does it do?" I asked.
[Description: Instead of precise chakra lions that drain energy, you create unstable chakra blobs that explode into sticky foam upon impact. Non-lethal, but extremely embarrassing for the victim.]
"It sounds... perfect," I decided.
"Purchase Lion Fist: Clumsy Variant."
[Transaction Complete. Remaining Points: 800. You have learned a Secret Technique. Your father would be crying (tears of confusion) if he knew.]
I stood up and activated my chakra. Blue energy formed around my hands. It didn't look like lions. It looked like... fluffy bunnies?
"Bunnies?" I whispered.
[System: Lions are too aggressive. Bunnies are deceptively dangerous. Just wait until you punch someone.]
I extinguished the chakra. I was ready.
In three weeks, I would face Dosu. I would face the village. And I would show them the power of the Gentle Fist... of Bunnies.
.............
Name: Hinata HyugaShy Points: 800.Skills: Twin Lion Fists (Bunny Mode), Accidental Counter-Attack, Iron Skirt.Allies: Naruto (Close), Kurenai (Stressed), Jiraiya (Intrigued).Enemies: Dosu (Terrified), Neji (Confused).
............…
The day of the finals had arrived. The main stadium of Konoha was packed to the rafters. Thousands of spectators—villagers, nobles, feudal lords—roared with excitement. To them, this was entertainment. To me, it was a coliseum where my dignity would be fed to lions.
I stood in the center of the arena with the other finalists. The sun beat down on us. My palms were sweating so much I was worried I might accidentally hydroplane if I took a step.
"Relax, Hinata," Kiba whispered from the spectator stands above, leaning over the rail. "You got this. You beat Neji. Dosu is just a guy wrapped in toilet paper."
"He is not just a guy," I whispered back, trembling. "He is a man with a vendetta."
I looked across the line. Dosu Kinuta stood there. However, he looked... different.
In the month since our last encounter, Dosu had clearly done some soul-searching. And some shopping.
He was no longer just wearing bandages. He was wearing a heavy leather trench coat that was buckled shut with at least twenty padlocks. He wore suspenders over his belt. He had duct tape wrapped around his ankles. He looked less like a ninja and more like a walking fortress of chastity.
He caught me looking at him. He pointed a metal-gauntleted finger at me.
"You," Dosu hissed. "I have prepared. There are no loose ends. My clothes are structurally integrated. You will not unravel me today, Hyuga."
I gulped.
"Alright, listen up!" Genma Shiranui, the proctor (who had replaced Hayate for reasons involving a sudden sick leave), chewed on his senbon needle. "The first match is... Naruto Uzumaki vs. Neji Hyuga."
My heart jumped. Naruto was first.
"Wait!" I looked around. "Where is Naruto-kun?"
He wasn't in the lineup.
"If he's not here in five minutes, he's disqualified," Genma stated flatly.
"No!" I cried out involuntarily.
Suddenly, a cloud of dust exploded at the entrance tunnel. A figure came sliding in on his face, crashing into the wall.
"I'm here! I'm here! Believe it!"
Naruto scrambled up, covered in dirt, accompanied by a stampede of bulls (presumably a prank gone wrong or a training method).
"You're late," Genma sighed. "But you're here. Everyone else, clear the arena. Naruto, Neji, stay."
I walked up the stairs to the finalist waiting area. I sat next to Shino.
"Probability of Naruto winning," Shino droned. "Low. Neji is a genius. However, Naruto is unpredictable. Much like you."
I watched the match. It was intense. Neji was brutal. He shut down Naruto's chakra points. He lectured him about destiny.
But Naruto... he didn't give up. He dug a hole underground. He uppercut Neji. He won.
The crowd went wild. I felt tears in my eyes.
(He did it. He really did it. He beat destiny.)
"Next match!" Genma called out, interrupting my emotional moment. "Hinata Hyuga vs. Dosu Kinuta!"
My stomach dropped through the floor. It was time.
I walked down the stairs. My legs felt like jelly. I stood opposite the Armored Mummy.
"Begin!"
Dosu didn't move. He crouched into a defensive stance, guarding his belt buckle with one hand and aiming his melody arm with the other.
"Come at me!" Dosu yelled. "I dare you to try and trip me!"
I took a deep breath. I remembered Kurenai's training. I remembered the bunnies.
"I... I will do my best!"
I activated my chakra.
"Twin Lion Fists!" I shouted.
Blue chakra flared around my hands. But instead of the roaring, majestic lions of the Hyuga clan, the chakra formed into two round, fluffy, lop-eared shapes. They had cute little tails.
.....
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