"Strange."
After waking up, Kakashi cracked his neck and rotated his arms, stretching his body on the hospital bed.
He discovered that after waking up from his coma, he felt strangely... refreshed.
Like, incredibly refreshed.
Just before losing consciousness, he had felt his body breaking down, experiencing intense pain and chakra exhaustion.
How did lying unconscious for a little while make him completely better?
How did his recovery ability become so busted?
Did he inadvertently develop a new ninja technique called "Power Nap" that fully restores his HP and MP with one use?
But that didn't make sense either.
When he was hit by Itachi's Tsukuyomi that time, he woke up with back pain, migraines, and trauma.
Could it be Tenzo came by again?
Possible, but not very likely.
Kakashi knew Tenzo's personality well—since he had beaten Tenzo's ass last time, the guy probably wouldn't dare secretly give him "wood" again.
After thinking for a long time without finding the reason, Kakashi simply gave up.
Whatever.
His body getting better was a good thing!
After rejecting Guy's loud invitation for a "youthful challenge," Kakashi checked out of the medical department and walked onto the streets of Konoha.
"Sigh." Kakashi let out a heavy breath.
The previous two uses of Tsukuyomi on him were meant to turn illusion into reality, extracting parts of Obito and Rin's bodies for Impure World Reincarnation to verify whether Makoto's plan was feasible.
Yet, he had ended up passing out at the final moment like a rookie.
The experiment had probably concluded by now.
Kakashi wasn't particularly concerned about the scientific results.
He just regretted missing another chance to see Rin again.
Now that the experiment was over, the Impure World Reincarnation was probably released.
Kakashi stopped dwelling on these depressing thoughts.
Kakashi could be considered the most tragic guy among Konoha's famous figures.
First, both of his parents died.
Then his best friend "fell in battle."
Then he killed his other teammate with his own hand.
Then his teacher and his teacher's wife died...
By the Boruto era, even his two former subordinates were gone.
It was truly a miracle that Guy and Tenzo managed to survive being around him.
Precisely because he had lost so much, Kakashi could maintain a smile while telling Sasuke, 'Everyone I care about has been dead for a long time.'
Precisely because he had lost so much, Kakashi could now quickly adjust his mindset.
And what initially helped Kakashi emerge from the darkness and fix his mental state was the holy scripture Jiraiya had given him.
It was his true lifelong love!
Kakashi put Rin out of his mind and, after buying a bunch of daily necessities at the supermarket, prepared to head home to read.
While walking, Kakashi suddenly spotted a massive poster plastered on a wall.
It announced the official film adaptation of "Icha Icha Paradise", complete with promotional activities and a lottery for movie ticket purchasers, offering various mystery gifts.
Kakashi's eyes instantly widened.
Thud.
He dropped the grocery bags in his hands without a second thought, lunged at the poster like a starving wolf, and began stroking the characters on it while emitting a creepy laugh.
"Ehehe... ehehe... ehehe..."
At that moment, on the rooftop of a building behind him, Kushina and Rin happened to pass by and witnessed the entire scene.
After leaving the medical department, the two had planned to patrol the village to check for any signs of the Masked Man, fearing he might be hiding somewhere, plotting to destroy the village.
Just as they finished their patrol, they saw Kakashi's bizarre behavior.
"When we were kids, Obito told me Kakashi was a pervert hiding behind a mask... I never thought it was actually true..."
Rin held her head, her eyes glazing over as she spoke.
"This is what happens when you're corrupted by Jiraiya. The 'Three Ninja Taboos'... wait, no."
Kushina was sighing with emotion when she suddenly realized something.
"This is a good thing, Rin. At least it means Kakashi still likes girls."
Indeed.
With the distortion of human nature and the decay of morals in this timeline, this had somehow become a positive development.
Kushina had felt this way before when she learned about Naruto and Sasuke's suspicious bond.
Before her death, she had hoped Naruto wouldn't be led astray by Jiraiya and would avoid the Three Taboos (Money, Alcohol, Women).
But now? It seemed way better to end up a pervert like Kakashi than the alternative!
"Yeah... I suppose so." Rin nodded slowly.
Compared to other scenarios (like the Obito/Kakashi fanfiction in Kushina's head), this was indeed a good thing.
But why did she feel no joy at all?
It felt as though some childhood illusions had been shattered into dust.
...
After creepily fondling the poster for a while, Kakashi found the event location listed in the corner.
Konoha's offline event was being held at Ino's family flower shop.
Kakashi turned around, picked up his bags from the ground, and dashed toward the destination at insane speed.
Outside the Yamanaka Flower Shop, a moderate line had formed.
Ino stood beside a lottery wheel, conducting draws for each person.
Making a purchase at the flower shop granted one lottery chance.
Buying a movie ticket directly also gave one chance.
Reciting classic lines from "Icha icha Paradise" in front of the staff earned another chance.
Additionally, some lottery tickets were distributed inside linked products.
Like instant noodles.
After reading the rules, Kakashi rummaged through his grocery bags and despondently realized he hadn't bought a single cup of instant noodles.
"Damn it. Looks like I only have the basic three lottery chances." Kakashi's expression turned serious.
It happened to be time to visit Obito and Rin at the memorial stone anyway, so Kakashi bought two bouquets of flowers and one movie ticket, then joined the line.
"I never thought Jiraiya's boring smut could actually be turned into a movie?" Kushina crouched on the roof, peering down.
"So, Kushina-nee... what's that novel actually about?"
Rin was very curious.
After all, she had died as a minor and couldn't read such material.
Seeing Kakashi act so perverted earlier, she only knew it was adult content.
But what exactly was it?
"Hmm..."
Just as Kushina hesitated, wondering how to explain porn to a ghost child, the appearance of a figure below made her eyes widen.
"Naruto? is that Naruto?!"
Kushina discovered that Naruto was actually holding a thick stack of lottery tickets, cheerfully lining up behind Kakashi and even waving at him.
'Had Naruto also been corrupted by Jiraiya?!'
"Kushina-nee, remember... this is a good thing," Rin comforted Kushina using the exact same logic Kushina had just used on her.
"..."
It really was a good thing—at least it showed Naruto was still interested in girls.
Kushina reluctantly accepted reality.
It was indeed a good thing, but why couldn't she feel happy about it?
Speaking of which, just how much did Naruto like Jiraiya's novels?
Even Kakashi only incidentally bought flowers and movie tickets, accumulating just two lottery tickets.
Plus the one for reciting lines later, that made three.
But Naruto's stack was massive!
Seeing the thick stack of lottery tickets in Naruto's hand, Kakashi's visible eye widened.
Two little figures appeared in Kakashi's mind.
The Evil Angel urged him to knock Naruto out and take the lottery tickets.
The Good Angel said, 'That's right! This is for Naruto's own good! He's too young for this!'
"Naruto... you're not an adult yet. You shouldn't be looking at these things. I'll hold onto them for you as your responsible teacher."
As he spoke, Kakashi snatched the lottery tickets from Naruto's hand and stuffed them into his ninja tool pouch with lightning speed.
Naruto stared at his empty hand, his smile instantly freezing.
He had been aiming for the Second Prize—ten boxes of collaboration instant noodles!
How could Kakashi-sensei so viciously steal his lottery tickets?!
"Kakashi-sensei! Give them back! Don't fuck with me!"
Naruto reached out, demanding the tickets from Kakashi.