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Hermione went to check on Ginny, and the feedback was worrying. Ginny seemed to have developed some kind of dissociative amnesia about that whole period. She had zero memory of ever owning the diary, but the second anyone mentioned a "black book," she flipped into full-blown panic.
The good news? Harry still looked mostly normal, except for those times he'd just stare blankly at the empty pages.
The bad news? Valentine's Day hit, and Lockhart lost his damn mind.
February 14th, early morning. The Great Hall walls were plastered with pink flowers, and heart-shaped confetti rained down from the ceiling.
Rove sat at the Hufflepuff table, a pink scrap of paper even floating in his oatmeal.
Susan sat across from him. She'd done her hair up extra nice today and clutched a fancy little package, her eyes drifting around, sneaking glances at Rove every few seconds.
"You think this is gross too, right?" Susan tried to start a conversation, flicking a heart-shaped card off her plate.
"This is a full-scale psychic assault, Susan."
"Stay alert. That pink fog is usually the warm-up for some mind-control spell."
Susan's hand froze mid-air, the little package she was about to hand over pulling back. She bit her lip, pissed, but before she could snap, twelve grumpy dwarves with golden wings and harps on their backs marched into the Great Hall.
In Rove's sunglasses-tinted vision, the whole world flashed blood-red.
[Hostile units confirmed!]
[Race: Fallen Redcaps]
[Armed with: Sonic weapons (harps) / blunt force]
[Threat level: Berserk]
"Everybody on guard!" Rove growled low, his spoon instantly turning into the frying pan.
"As long as you don't run around, they won't—" Susan started to explain, but one dwarf charged straight at them.
The dwarf waved his harp like a battle axe, heading right for Rove.
"I'm here to deliver a message!" the dwarf roared, trying to grab Rove's robes. "For Rove Baggins! One singing letter!"
In Rove's ears, the roar translated straight into Black Speech cursing: Die, Hobbit! Hand over your skin!
The second the big hand reached for his collar, Rove's body moved faster than his brain.
BANG!
The winged dwarf flew like a cannonball and smashed hard onto the Ravenclaw table.
Susan shot to her feet. That was the love letter she'd spent a whole week writing! She'd gone through every sonnet collection in the library for that thing, and now it was ruined.
"Messenger repelled!" Rove stepped back fast, frying pan up to his chest. "Protect the civilians! Susan, fall back! They're launching the assault!"
Susan sucked in a sharp breath, shot Rove a death glare, grabbed her bag, and stormed off.
"Where are you going?" Rove yelled. "It's dangerous out there!"
"To the library! No dwarves there, and no wooden-headed idiot turning every bit of romance into a goddamn war drill!" Susan shouted without looking back.
The circus didn't end there.
That afternoon, as students poured toward the Charms classroom, a bigger riot exploded in the corridor.
Harry got grabbed by one of the dwarves.
The dwarf locked onto Harry's knees and belted out the musical recitation at full volume: "His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad, his hair is as dark as a blackboard, I wish he was mine, he's really divine, the hero who conquered the Dark Lord!"
Kids all around cracked up laughing. Malfoy laughed so hard tears streamed down his face.
"Very poetic!" Malfoy shouted. "Potter, looks like your taste is really special! Maybe you should write that song in your little diary?"
In the chaos, Harry's bag strap snapped. Everything spilled out—books flying, and that black diary tumbling through the air.
Rove's eyes locked onto the diary tracing its perfect arc.
[Warning: The Ring has left controlled space!]
[Target location: 10 meters ahead]
Malfoy's eyes lit up. He snatched the diary off the floor.
"What's this?" Malfoy sneered, holding up the black book. "Potter's dirty little secret?"
"Give it back!" Harry yelled, trying to lunge, but the singing dwarf had his legs in a death grip.
Ginny Weasley stood at the edge of the crowd. When she saw the diary in Malfoy's hand, her face went paper-white. She clapped both hands over her mouth, eyes wide with pure terror.
"Give it back to him, Malfoy!" Ron yanked out his wand.
Malfoy ignored Ron completely. He stared at the diary, a vicious glint flashing in his eyes. He'd had a grudge against Rove since first year—ever since this crazy Hufflepuff beat the shit out of him in front of everyone for calling someone a Mudblood, all while calling it "purifying a half-orc."
Ever since then Malfoy had hated Rove but also feared him. Now he'd finally found the perfect chance to humiliate Potter and gross out Rove at the same time.
"What? So nervous?" Malfoy taunted, looking straight at Rove who'd just shoved through the crowd. "Got your little secrets in here too, Baggins? Looks like a piece of junk to me—"
He never finished.
A black shadow launched at him.
Rove didn't waste a single word. You don't negotiate with fallen elves.
"Disarm—physical edition!"
The frying pan whistled through the air and smashed straight into Malfoy's wrist.
"AAHH!" Malfoy screamed, feeling the bones in his hand crack. The diary flew out of his grip.
Rove caught it mid-air, jammed it straight into Harry's bag, and didn't let it touch his hands for even a second longer.
"You're dead!" Malfoy clutched his wrist, tears stinging his eyes from the pain. He roared in fury, "Crabbe! Goyle! Get him! Beat this psycho to death!"
The two big thugs charged immediately. Other Slytherins around them started shifting, clearly ready to pile on and stomp Rove while they had numbers.
The whole scene spiraled out of control, about to turn into a full brawl.
"Everybody STOP!"
Percy Weasley shoved through the crowd, prefect badge gleaming. "Fighting in the corridors? Gryffindor loses five points! Slytherin loses five points! Malfoy, put your wand away!"
Malfoy shot Rove a venomous glare. He wasn't happy, but with a prefect stepping in, he didn't dare push it.
"You wait, Baggins," Malfoy hissed, his voice all bluster and fear. "My father is on the board. I'll make him—"
"Make him pick you up and take you back to Mordor to heal?" Rove cut him off coldly. "Crawl back to your hole. Next time I see you touch that thing, I'll break your other hand too."
Malfoy actually stepped back from the pure murder in Rove's eyes. In the end he could only slink off with his goons, cursing the whole way.
The crowd broke up, leaving just Harry, Ron, and Rove.
Ginny stood in the corner, body shaking.
"Here, Ring-bearer." Rove pulled out the diary and handed it to Harry. "That was too close. Sauron's claws almost got it."
Harry snatched the diary, not even bothering to wipe the ink off it.
"Thanks, Rove," Harry panted. "Just now Ginny—"
He turned toward the corner, but Ginny was already gone.
"She got scared shitless," Ron sighed. "This fucking Valentine's Day."
Rove stared in the direction Ginny had vanished, thinking hard.
[Observation log updated]
[Target: Ginny Weasley]
[Reaction: Extreme panic / avoidance]
[Conclusion: Post-traumatic stress from former Ring-bearer]
"Let's go, Harry." Rove clapped him on the shoulder. "This place isn't safe anymore. The Redcaps are gathering. We need to retreat."
Behind them, the dwarf kept singing tirelessly into empty air: "He is the hero who conquered the Dark Lord..."