Reis had nothing to offer to a divine creature, God or demon.
He had no talent, no authority to build shrines, and no intention of gaining such authority either. His entire life amounted to nothing for this creature.
Yet he made a promise.
People tend to make foolish mistakes when in danger. The difference was that Reis seemed to be making them all the time except when sleeping. But with how things were going, that wasn't too far either.
"I'm very aware of your uselessness. It is one of your favored words, I assume."
Shit. He said some very foolish things, didn't he? Although he forgot most of the nonsense he came up with, someone definitely remembered.
Throwing away what little dignity he had left, Reis quickly knelt and placed the kitten on the ground beside him. It hurt his knees a bit, but that was nothing compared to the glare. "Mr. Lord Guardian," He said in the most respectful tone he could, "I did not mean those things."
"What about 'insufferable'?" Reis didn't even remember saying it!
"I was merely thinking about my bad luck."
"Greedy old man?" That one...was a miscalculation.
"It's the TV show's fault. I already had a default thought set!"
"Idiot?" Yes, I'm an idiot.
Reis was running out of excuses. It was bad enough that this so-called guardian lived in his head; it was a total violation of privacy that he had to face consequences, all thanks to this so-called voice inside his head that was never up to any good.
But he still had to try. One last attempt before execution.
|Again, the guardian will not harm you.|
Yeah, sure. Not physically. But his glare was doing Reis enough harm as it was. For his own sanity, he needed to stop it!
"Mr. Lord Guardian, can I be honest with you since you can read my thoughts anyway?" He was plenty good at digging his own grave. Why not take it to the next level and nail his own coffin, too?
"Go on."
The people in the back had fallen unconscious. The monsters had run away. The furball was walking around him in circles, jumping away after seeing him flare up. It was the right time to vent. The only time to vent.
"Mr. Lord Guardian Sir, I didn't want to be here at all. Then, on top of that, I was placed as a new character."
It was issue number one. While it was bad enough to be here at all, he could have at least been the usual mid-grade adventurer.
"The system said I was selected, but didn't even give me any skills or resources from my other character." If the only reason he was here was that he spent too much time on Odyssey, he could have at least given what he accumulated there!
He knew His complaints were actually childish. That's why he gave up on these. But he might as well be a child if that gets him off the hook.
"Then you just showed up and forcefully put those memories in my head!"
Was that really necessary? Reis knew very well that it would have been easier if he had no memory at all. Fewer chances to get targeted. Fewer attachments. No family ties to feel close to.
"You fulfilled my wish without even verifying with me! It's generous, I know! But you need to double-check things you don't really know about."
If the guardian had only asked, Reis wouldn't have even asked for anything fancy. Maybe a general scanning skill. Or poison resistance. That definitely would have worked better for this role.
"Then there were the annoying tasks and the kidnapping. I was too frustrated. I didn't mean to insult you." He was already huffing for air after saying all that in a few breaths. "I wouldn't even dream of insulting a god! Please don't kill me."
There was no response for a few moments. A nice few moments. Cause the words that followed just made his childish excuses invalid.
"You wouldn't be alive right now if I were a god." Reis had never heard anything so flat. Flat, as in, word with nothing attached, no emotion, no reason.
It was a fact. A cold, unfiltered fact. "For that, you owe me, don't you?"
Not a god? As if there was anything this creature could be other than a god. Reis wouldn't believe that.
|I have already told you the guardian is not responsible for godly duties.|
Then he's not as dangerous?
The thought earned him a sharp, questioning look. "Would you like to test that?"
"No, no, no. I was only thinking. I definitely didn't mean it."
A cold finger touched his forehead, seeping through his skin and into his veins. Surprisingly, it didn't feel as bad as before. The coldness. Not the press that could might as well drill into his skull.
"I am not low enough to hold your incompetence against you like them." Reis's face lit up. There was hope, still enough of it to save him. "As long as you complete your offering." The light vanished just as fast. He wasn't getting out of it. "What will it be?"
Humans have a remarkably long history with offerings. They see something strong, be it the strength of a god or the light of the sun. They are captivated by it.
So much so that they offer away their everything to garner favor or satiate anger.
Gold, Jewels, Wealth. Even questionable things like blood and lives. There was a variety of things presented at altars of different gods, solely aimed to achieve the blessings of the said beings.
But that was when the receiver wasn't staring down at them. What could he possibly give to someone like this? Reis looked up, knowing the man probably heard those options. "Will any of these work?"
Another judgmental stare. "Your wealth means nothing to me."
Those were the highest he could offer while keeping his life. Minor things like wine and sweatmeat were things he wouldn't even dare to mention. Other than his poor mortal soul, there really was nothing to offer.
No! No way he'd offer his soul. The cold finger was definitely hampering his ability to think.
"I've done no such thing." The man spoke, almost offended.
Reis truly missed the privacy to think. Was it included in the human rights laws? Well, even if it was, it won't be useful to him anyway.
There was one thing he could offer, as a good enough return for his crimes. "Mr. Lord Guardian Sir, what if...if I let you pull out my hair?"
This earned him another staredown. But not a hundred percent denial. Then, in the blink of an eye, the person before him changed. Smoke covered the ten-foot-tall giant and left behind a figure that actually looked human this time. At least on the outside.
The finger pressing on Reis's forehead now made its way to his hair, inspecting the quality of the product. Although Reis saw no need for it in a tit for tat situation.
Then came the pull. A firm tug tore away a single piece of hair, offering the human some mental relief. Reis had never been so glad to have his hair ripped, never in his life.
"This will suffice for the day."