"Old friend, would you be willing to chat with me about that young man, Lucien?" Dumbledore asked the Sorting Hat with a chuckle.
The Sorting Hat shifted its eye-socket-like depressions, glanced at the long-bearded old man, and twisted its cracked mouth: "No."
This crisp and straightforward refusal made Dumbledore's smile freeze instantly.
After a long while, the old man shook his head awkwardly.
"Uh, I just wanted to understand what characteristics Lucien has that made you so conflicted?"
Facing Dumbledore's question, the Sorting Hat wiggled the tip of its hat: "Boy, how many years have you been Principal of Hogwarts?"
Seeing the Sorting Hat throw an unrelated question back at him, Dumbledore didn't get angry; instead, he pondered as if reminiscing.
"I took over as Principal in '56, so this year marks exactly 35 years."
"Oh."
The Sorting Hat just said "Oh" and then fell silent. Dumbledore couldn't understand why the Hat's temper was so strange today.
Could it really be because of Lucien's sorting, that it was somewhat affected?
"In these 35 years, why…?"
"You never cleaned me!?"
The Sorting Hat's sudden "accusation" left Dumbledore a bit bewildered.
"Hm, huh?"
Sensing the old Principal's confusion, the Sorting Hat seemed even angrier, its mouth chattering incessantly:
"Oh, Merlin's Hat, I don't even remember when I was last properly cleaned!"
"You Principals and Professors, you only remember me when new students arrive each year, and then you toss me back on the shelf after you're done!"
"Every time, I can read the little Wizards' thoughts of disdain for me!"
"I am clearly the smartest Hat in this world, how can I be treated like this!"
"…"
The more Dumbledore listened to the Sorting Hat's complaints, the more puzzled he became.
Previously, the Sorting Hat would just sit silently in the corner of the shelf, occasionally humming a few lines of the song it would sing at the next year's ceremony.
How come, after this sorting ceremony, the Hat's thoughts seemed more active?
What was different this year?
It must have been Lucien's sorting ceremony, which lasted over ten minutes and made history…
Dumbledore couldn't help but tug at his beard, his gaze at the Sorting Hat growing stranger.
Could it really be broken?
"Boy, what are you looking at!"
"You want to ask me about Lucien?"
"First, give me a full body clean!!!"
…
Ten minutes later.
Dumbledore sat at the table, holding a small brush, meticulously cleaning the Sorting Hat.
"Mm, yes, yes, that's it, a little more force!"
"Get some warm water, you're not wiping the stain like that."
"You're over a hundred years old, can't you even brush a Hat?"
The Sorting Hat simultaneously enjoyed the personal care from the greatest Wizard of the century, while also criticizing his technique.
And Dumbledore, surprisingly, didn't get angry; instead, he smiled brightly.
The Sorting Hat demanded that he not use magic to placate it, but rather brush it by hand.
However, in Dumbledore's opinion, it was a novel experience anyway, so there was no harm in trying.
"Alright, old friend, can you talk to me about Lucien now?"
The Sorting Hat squinted, enjoying the cleaning, and replied nonchalantly: "Yes, he is very suitable for Ravenclaw."
"I can see that, anything else?"
"He is also suitable for Slytherin."
Hearing this, Dumbledore couldn't help but want to sigh.
Was it another case of exceptional talent, coupled with hidden ambition?
"Oh, he's also suitable for Hufflepuff?"
"Hm, huh?"
The sigh Dumbledore was about to let out, he held back.
"Are you sure?"
The Sorting Hat tilted its tip: "Of course, how could I make a mistake? Also, it wouldn't be a problem for him to go to Gryffindor either."
The brush in Dumbledore's hand paused. He once again suspected that this Hat might truly be old and in disrepair, with something wrong.
"Why did you stop?"
"Well, to be honest, I've also never seen such a young Wizard, possessing so many qualities suitable for all four Great Houses."
Dumbledore resumed his cleaning motion, then asked: "Then why was it Ravenclaw in the end?"
The Sorting Hat shrugged its brim, saying in a light tone: "Because he felt… oh no, I felt that pursuing wisdom and craving knowledge is Lucien's essence."
"It's just that in the magic world, knowledge is equivalent to power, and in the process of seeking knowledge, the diligence, effort, courage, and determination he displayed were all very clear and hard to ignore."
Dumbledore nodded, the pressure in his hand increasing a bit, but his heart felt much more relaxed.
"Thank you. It seems Lucien will be a good student."
"By the way, did you check what areas Lucien was particularly talented in at the time?"
However, before the Sorting Hat could answer, a portrait in the Headmaster's Office interrupted it: "You two have been chattering for half the day, it's so noisy I can't sleep!"
"Since he wasn't sorted into our Slytherin in the end, I think this Lucien you're talking about is just so-so in terms of talent."
The voice was sharp and arrogant, very unpleasant to hear.
Dumbledore rubbed his forehead; he didn't really want to bother with this former Principal who was extremely fond of pure-bloods.
But it didn't matter, someone had already responded for him.
Another portrait, depicting a stern-looking man, moved, and a rough, loud voice came out: "Phineas, I really want to shut your annoying mouth! 'Your Slytherin'? Have some shame!"
"Heh, Morgan, I'm too lazy to talk to a reckless lion like you." Phineas pinched his small mustache, saying disdainfully.
"When I was Principal, I disliked these Ravenclaw students the most. They were always pursuing their 'knowledge,' and always thought they were right about everything."
"Phineas, do you want to test the weight of 'knowledge' again?"
A portrait of a beautiful and elegant lady also came to life. Wearing silver-rimmed glasses, she had a quiet demeanor.
But in her hand, there was a heavy tome, the kind that would be equivalent to a Stupefy if it hit the back of the head.
Dumbledore listened to the portraits of the past Principals arguing back and forth, helplessly rubbing his temples.
Phineas Black, holder of the title "Most Unpopular Principal in Hogwarts History."
"Black boy, stop yelling."
"Compared to Lucien, your talent is like a Troll's brain; you'd need a magnifying glass to even find it."
The Sorting Hat's sarcasm immediately stopped the portraits' argument.
"Pfft, hahahahahahaha…"
"A Troll's brain! Can the Sorting Hat talk like that? Why didn't I notice it back then."
"Phineas, if you heard that, make a sound!"
The Principal portraits all laughed, with the Principals from Gryffindor laughing the loudest.
Even the Principals who were also from Slytherin were laughing. To be honest, they also found Phineas to be too outrageous. As a Principal, he completely disregarded student education, and no one even knew what he truly cared about.
Dumbledore merely didn't laugh out loud, and his large white beard effectively concealed the upward curve of his lips.
The Sorting Hat noticed Dumbledore's hand holding the brush had stopped again, and its mouth cracked open wide: "What are you laughing at again? Lucien's talent is far superior to yours too!"