A Body Too Small
Not being able to speak...
Whoever invented this deserves my hatred.
I have words in my mind. Clear ones. Logical ones. Some of them don't even belong to this world.
Yet when I open my mouth, the only thing that comes out is a meaningless sound.
"Uuuh."
It's not a thought.
Not a scream either.
It's... helplessness.
They are my first truths in this world.
Lyria.
Gentle hands. A patient voice. The same warm scent every time. When she holds me, something inside me calms down. She doesn't realize it, but what she does doesn't just reach the body—it goes deeper.
Doran.
He speaks less. Looks harsher. But when he's in the room, I can feel it. His presence is heavy. Powerful. As if even the air adjusts itself around him.
Right now, Lyria lifts me into her arms. When I rest against her chest, I can feel her heartbeat.
Steady. Consistent.
That's good.
I like things that don't change.
As she feeds me, my gaze drifts toward the ceiling. The same crack. The same shadow. I've been staring at them from the same angle for days.
Time moves painfully slow at this age. Too slow.
This body... is incredibly inefficient.
I clench my hands. No strength.
I try to move my legs. Zero coordination.
Annoying.
And then—
Wetness.
Wait.
No.
...You've got to be kidding me.
I have no choice but to cry.
In this world, this is the only way to ask for help.
That's when the door opens.
"I'll take care of it," Doran says.
No.
No.
Please not you.
Lyria lets out a small smile and hands me over. Doran's movements are rougher, but not careless. He knows what he's doing. He's clearly used to this.
A man who's faced countless monsters... and right now, I'm his opponent.
As he changes me, I watch his expression. His brows are slightly furrowed, as if he's not looking at me—but at a possibility he can't put into words.
"He's very quiet," Lyria says.
"Too quiet for a baby."
Doran doesn't answer right away.
That's how he is.
"Yeah," he finally says. "But his eyes... they're too observant."
Silence follows.
Once I'm clean, I'm placed back in my bed. The ceiling. The crack. The shadow.
The same scene again.
But this time, something is different.
It's faint.
Almost like an illusion.
But it's there.
Something stirs inside me.
Like an invisible current moving with my breath.
Mana...
I try to guide it instinctively. It doesn't work.
My muscles tense. Pain shoots through me.
And yet, I smile.
Yes.
It hurts.
That means it's real.
As my eyelids grow heavy, a single thought lingers in my mind before sleep takes me.
This world underestimates me.
And for now...
that's exactly how it should be.