Nate was happy.
He sat quietly on the floor his childhood room, once filled with with Mementoes that now fill the bed of his truck outside the modest home. The bare walls a reminder that his time here had come to an end. A temporary but very real end. The memories made within this space, now fluid in his mind like a raging river.
The joyful late night movies and terrible study sessions. The romantic nights full of laughs and tears and painful days of silence and solitude. For over a decade of his life this space had been his greatest Paradise and his worst prison. Today, in a few hours, he would wave it goodbye.
Bzzt Bzzt
Nate's phone vibrated on his desk. A sigh escaped his lips. He knew it was a message. From one of his friends he was sure. He didn't care for the content as he made no effort to stand and reach for it. He couldn't muster the energy. Even though it was the early morning, Nate felt drained.
No, He was happy.
They had graduated, after a tumultuous four years, they had finally made it to their highschool graduation. Such an achievement should feel sweet. The stress of all his studies, extracurriculars, family struggles and disastrous romances.
all of it should have dissipated now.
But why did things still feel so...
Bzzt Bzzt
His phone rung again. 'another message.' he thought. A part of him wanted to check it now. It might be a needed distraction from the turmoil in his mind and the iron tight grip on his heart. Another part of him forced him to stay put for just a bit longer, to not allow himself the undeserved relief he craved right now. He had grown used to the pain by know.
What pain? He was happy, wasn't he?
He, Lynn, and Jacob all got in the same school and would be together like they've always been for the past ten years. Laughing and joking their way through university like they had Middleschool and highschool. Lynn, with her social skills would end up knowing half the campus before second semester. Invited to all the parties and having Nate and Jacob dragged along to make sure she doesn't go of the rails.
And Jacob. With his book smarts and geeky way of life will no doubt bring them to the strangest of events and conventions. His love for a favourite TV character or videogame might keep them awake till the morning just like before.
So what if they were a little older now? So what if they were College students now?
So what if Jacob and Lynn broke up? So what if he didn't have her anymore?
His heart began to hurt. Memories unwanted but unavoidable were forced upon him. A love he once thought immature and shallow now ran deep and piercing the thought of her. In this room where so much happened, the feelings he had been fighting threatened to stick to him like tar and burn him like fire.
He must be happy.
He stood abruptly, making strides for his phone like it was his lifeline. An escape, he knew that much, but a much needed one. He couldn't break now. His friends were coming, and they would leave soon after.
He smiled. A small and bitter one but a smile nonetheless. Unlocking his phone showed two messages from Lynn. It seemed she was downstairs. The second one seemed like a message to wake him if he was asleep.
His smile turned a tad more genuine. Lynn and Jacob had become something akin to family. Nate's mother always said that The trio were thicker than thieves. In Nate's eyes the held a similar status to his mother and kid sister.
He typed up a silly excuse and sent it. He would go down in a minute or two. His mother must be entertaining Lynn right now.
'Maybe spalsh some water on my face to regain a bit of myself first.' They needed him at his best today didn't they? Then he would give them is best. It was only natural after all.
He was happy.
Right?