Before Keifer would allow the group to set foot on Pier 13, he insisted on a mandatory "Tactical Refresh Course." He couldn't have his wife and a group of chaotic misfits running into a Hanamitchi stronghold swinging fried chicken and umbrellas.
The setting: The private Watson underground gym. A state-of-the-art facility filled with punching bags, holographic targets, and Keifer looking like a terrifying Olympic coach in a black compression shirt.
"Listen up," Keifer barked, his voice echoing off the walls. "In the corporate world, we call this 'Process Optimization.' In the streets, it's called 'Not Dying.' You fight like a pack of rabid dogs. It's effective, but messy. Today, I teach you precision."
Step 1: Stealth and Maneuverability
Keifer set up a laser-grid obstacle course. "The goal is to move silently. If you touch a laser, a high-pitched alarm sounds. Observe."
Keifer moved through the lasers like a shadow. He was fluid, silent, and incredibly fast. He reached the other side in six seconds without a single beep.
"Your turn. Ci-N, go."
Ci-N stepped up, wearing a brand-new "tactical" headband. He took a deep breath, channeled his inner Naruto, and leaped into the air.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!
"MY CAPE! MY CAPE GOT CAUGHT!" Ci-N screamed as he became entangled in the laser wires, tripping over his own feet and face-planting into a padded mat.
"Why are you wearing a cape to a stealth mission?" Keifer asked, rubbing his temples.
"It adds to the aerodynamics, King!"
Step 2: Hand-to-Hand Precision
"Felix, Edrix. Front and center," Keifer commanded. "Stop swinging with your shoulders. Use your opponent's momentum."
Keifer tried to demonstrate a sophisticated aikido flip on Felix. But Felix, being Felix, didn't move like a normal human. Instead of falling, he accidentally used his "Section E reflex" and tried to headbutt Keifer's stomach.
"Oof!" Keifer grunted, stepping back.
"Sorry, King! Muscle memory!" Felix laughed, trying to help Keifer up but accidentally stepping on Edrix's foot.
Edrix yelped and pushed Felix, which triggered a domino effect. Within seconds, the "professional training" devolved into a pile of grown men wrestling on the floor, pulling hair, and tickling each other's ribs.
"STOP! THIS IS NOT TACTICAL!" Keifer roared, but he was ignored.
Step 3: The Mutya's Turn
Jay-jay stood on the sidelines, trying to hide her laughter behind her hand. Keifer walked over to her, his hair slightly disheveled for the first time in years.
"Your friends are impossible," he muttered.
"They aren't soldiers, Keifer. They're Section E," Jay-jay said softly. She stepped onto the mat and picked up a wooden practice sword. "You're trying to turn them into Watsons. But you fell in love with a Mariano."
She swung the sword—not with the precision of a fencer, but with the raw, unpredictable energy that had saved her life a dozen times back in high school.
"Fight me," she challenged, a playful smirk on her face.
Keifer took a wooden staff, his competitive side flaring up. They sparred, and for a moment, the room went quiet. It was like a dance—Keifer was all logic and defense, while Jay-jay was all heart and intuition.
She managed to trap his staff under her arm and leaned in close, their faces inches apart. "See? I don't need to be precise. I just need to be faster than your brain can calculate."
Keifer looked at her, his gaze softening. "You're dangerous, Jay."
"I learned from the best," she whispered.
The Final "Exam"
The training ended when Josh accidentally triggered the emergency sprinkler system while trying to show off a "cool kick."
Within seconds, the 50-million-peso gym was being rained on. The boys were sliding across the wet floor like it was a water park, Ci-N was using a kickboard as a surfboard, and Keifer was standing in the middle of the downpour, soaking wet, looking like he was reconsidering all his life choices.
Jay-jay walked up to him, her hair dripping, and handed him a towel. "So... do we pass?"
Keifer looked at his "team"—a group of soaking wet, laughing idiots who were currently trying to see who could slide the furthest on the wet floor.
He sighed, a small, genuine smile finally breaking through his mask. "You're all going to be the death of me. But... if we're going to war, I'd rather have these idiots than a thousand professional soldiers."
He looked at Jay-jay and pulled her into a wet hug. "We go to Pier 13 tomorrow. But Jay? You stay behind me."
"We'll see about that, King," she replied, winking at the boys.