DUNG! [The great *beep* system is online! <(￣︶￣)>]
A golden virtual screen floated in front of Castra and a suspicious palm-sized golden thing popped out of the screen with a bang.
At the same time, the poop on Castra's face disappeared without a trace.
After cleaning the poop with magic, the suspicious golden thing stretched its two tiny hands and spoke cheerfully,
[Tadaa! ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧ Your personal customer service 001 is here! Our motto is— conquer the world with poop!]
[Nice to meet you, host~ ]
A dialog panel appeared above the suspicious thing's head, but it also spoke directly in Castra's mind.
Castra looked at the suspicious-looking golden thing and subconsciously rubbed his eyes.
Is he still dreaming? Otherwise...how could he see a poop speaking human language?
And the poop even cleaned another poop...
Haha. This must be impossible—
[Hey, hello? You hear me? ಠ_ಠ I said I'm your customer service 001!]
The suspicious thing that Castra suspected to be a poop floated around Castra like a headless fly.
Although Castra didn't smell any stench, he subconsciously dodged the flying poop and blurted,
[How come a system has customer service?? And...are you a...*beep*?]
Wait, what's with the system censorship??
The golden poop looked at Castra with surprise.
[Ah, how do you know that my name is Poo? And yes, as you can see, I'm the great *beep*— oh. That word is censored, tsk.]
The golden poop shook its head in disappointment but soon, it started to become energetic again.
[Anyway, I'm your first customer service!]
The chibi poop blinked its round eyes and took out a blackboard out of the thin air.
Then, it suddenly wore eyeglasses and started to point at the blackboard, acting like a teacher.
[<(￣︶￣)↗ Customer service 001's work shift is from 8 a.m to 6 p.m Spirit World's Timezone!]
[Outside of the working hours, there won't be any new missions and the host can't complete the existing missions either.]
[During the non-working hours, the system's features, including skills obtained from the system, will be unavailable~ ]
[Are you clear, host? (^^)]
Clear your toilet.
How could a system have a work shift?!
Even a spirit like him had to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year!
Poo didn't know Castra's inner jealousy at all, so Castra could only ask wearily.
[Okay…what's the mission?]
Would it be to kill monsters? Fight other spirits? Assist a summoner? Or…overthrow the Spirit World's damn administrator??
[See this~ ]
The golden poop wore a mysterious expression on its face as it waved its tiny hand.
The next second, a golden screen appeared in front of Castra.
DUNG! [First mission (Free Trial): Scoop an orange cat spirit's poop × 10 in 1 hour]
[Reward: ???]
[WARNING! Failure to complete the mission will result in a total annihilation!]
[Countdown start!]
[00:60:00]
Castra's face instantly turned into (☉｡☉).
Meow meow?
Scoop an orange cat spirit's poop?
And he would die if the mission failed??
What a sh*t system!
Castra's shovel fell to the ground with a clang and he almost dramatically fell to his knees in despair.
How could this be!!
Scooping poop again? A furry animal's poop on top of that??
To hell with the SSS-rank skill's reward!
Just the thought of cat fur made his balls— his entire body itch!
Ahhhh! Might as well kill him—
Poo: [*Poke* *Poke*
Uhhh, dear host, you have less than an hour left~ ]
[Okay, I'm going.]
Castra changed his mind on the spot while reassuring himself:
A real man can bend and stretch!
With the mission countdown ticking, Castra rushed to the nearest teleportation portal heading to the Beast Paradise, another realm away from the humanoid spirit's settlement.
No coins for the teleportation fare?
No worries, just sell your kidney— ah, no, just one toe, yes one toe, and it's done!
As for the return trip's fare? Hmm, sell another toe.
Spirit World, Beast Paradise
The spiralling portal flickered and a group of humanoid spirits were tossed out like garbage.
"Ugh! This spirit is still so rude!"
Castra cursed the arrogant, capitalist and money-grubber portal spirit as he rubbed his aching b*tt.
But time waited for no one, not even his b*tt, so once the pain subsided, Castra immediately headed towards a remote and unremarkable region— places where low-level spirits like cat spirits lived!
15 minutes later, at the foot of a desolate mountain.
"It's here...."
Castra thrust his shovel to the ground with a thud and looked up at the towering cylinder mountain with no end in sight, covered with thick fog and clouds.
Strangely, from afar, the cylinder mountain looked like a cat tower with cat nests scattered everywhere.
On the left and right side stood tall trees— yarn ball trees and cattails grasses.
A small stone stair was placed in the middle, leading up to the invisible mountain peak.
Looking at such a strange mountain…
The orange cat he's looking for must be here.
"Okay, let's do this!"
Castra slowly took his first step, but what he didn't see was a deep, paw-shaped crater as big as a car, something utterly impossible...for a cat spirit.
A low, rumbling purr resembling the sound of the wind echoed faintly from the mountain, vibrating through the stone steps beneath Castra's feet.
At the same time, the thick fog that covered a wooden sign behind Castra slowly dissipated, revealing the few words on it.
[Cat Tower Mountain]
[Warning! Beware of tiger!]
Unaware of the warning sign, Castra started to climb the stone stairs, thinking that it would be like the famous cultivation sect's 1000 steps trial.
But to his surprise...
The stone stairs were super short and after climbing for less than twenty stairs—
[How come there's no path ahead??]
Castra looked at the gigantic tower similar to a giant tree in front of him, so tall that he couldn't even see the end of it, completely obscured by the clouds.
It was bare with a few thick ropes coiling around.
The branches and cat nests only started to appear ten meters above the ground.
Castra suddenly felt like Jack in Jack and The Beanstalk fairytale.
Is this a cat's den or a bird nest?? Why so high??
Still...
[In the end, I have to climb the tower, right?]
Barehanded and without any safety measures on top of that!
[Hehehe, yes, host! You can start climbing— now!]
Poo flashed a grin and made a "please" gesture.
Left with no choice, Castra awkwardly put his leg onto the nearest rope and started to climb so slowly that a passing snail was even faster than him!
A few moments later •••
The mission countdown flashed, showing the remaining time:
[00:45:00]
Castra spent almost fifteen minutes just climbing the first ten meters, but finally, with trembling arms and legs, he reached the first nest.
It was then, strands of cat fur suddenly floated down the cat house, about to touch Castra right on the face.
Castra's eyes instantly widened.
! Cat fur?
Oh no!!
Unfortunately—
It was too late.
"AHHHH— "