I hope no one is offended by anything said in this and the next chapter. I am writing about the acts people in history have done and applying them to magic. Please do not think I am targeting anyone or any group.
July 1982
Despite my best efforts, GI Joe was an unmoving man with a heart of stone.
My best result came after months of failed attempts. I was getting frustrated and briefly managed to channel that emotion into using magic to push my action figurine almost a half a meter, or about 1.5 feet.
I tried to push the toy again using the same emotion, now that I'd already done it twice, but I failed. It seems I don't have enough experience with emotion magic to use it freely or at will.
It could also be that I was simply too happy after getting some results again; my emotions probably weren't strong enough to invoke accidental magic again.
I also experimented with positive emotions and tried to use them to cast spells, but I didn't get any results. My hypothesis is that, while I am thrilled after confirming I could do magic, the uncertainty and the frustration still linger.
My guess is that I just don't have enough practice fuelling my emotions into my magic. I think the lack of consistent results and thus the belief that it works is hindering me. This should improve as I become more immersed in magic and start practicing it daily.
I decided I had to switch tactics. I can't wait around to be genuinely frustrated enough every time I want to use magic. The emotional path was cut off for now. It seemed my few successful attempts had made me happy enough not to produce any emotion too extreme.
My thoughts went to other aspects of the magic I performed that day. First, there was the overwhelming emotion, which I already tried.
The second aspect of my accidental magic was my prayer, my earnest plea.
Initially, I didn't direct my prayers to anyone or anything; I simply prayed and hoped. Now, however, I have something in mind.
I put my plan into action immediately.
Here I am, on a rare sunny day in London. I am standing outside in the garden while my mother is engaged with housework.
'I won't have long before she starts looking for me,' I think as I carefully avoid the window that gives a direct line of sight to a part of the garden.
It's not that difficult to evade her, on account of me being a midget. I can easily duck under the windows.
'I really hope no one sees what I am about to do; I would die of embarrassment.'
I take a deep breath, and after I breathe out, I utter quietly, "Welp, here it goes."
In the soft patch of grass, away from the windows, I kneel on both of my knees. I tuck my feet under me so my bottom is resting on my heels.
After researching different cultures through books and my school teachers, I had concluded that this was the best position for what I am about to do.
I found many acts of prostration mentioned across different cultures, faiths, and religions to either pray or plead. It is an act of profound reverence and humility, or used make a plea, and today I am going to direct my prayers and plea to magic itself.
If nothing else, I already revered and adored magic. Now I am simply expressing it physically.
Before making my plea to magic and asking for a boon, I decided to express my gratitude and my faith/belief in magic.
The first step I did is clear my mind of all distractions, all my messy thoughts, all the failures, all the doubts.
I did this by focusing on my breath, but when my mind still wandered, I focused on the center of my forehead while taking deep breaths. This is the method I know yogis use for mindful meditation, thanks to some classes I took in another life.
It took a couple of tries before I could hold this state for a minute.
As I cleared my mind, I started thinking about how thankful I am for magic and how blessed I am that magic chose to bloom in me.
I slowly fold my arms and start to lower my head towards the ground.
I know that this position is called Dogeza, thanks to my anime knowledge. It is used to express extreme apology, gratitude, or a request. In my case, I used it to express my gratitude and show my humility.
'Thank you, Magic.'
Thus, I gave my first bow.
As I rise up from my bow, I feel the afternoon sun warming my face.
'I guess I have been out here long enough to start warming up.' I think to myself.
My plan was just to pray and give thanks to magic, but my mind drifted to the warmth on my face.
I lived in a sunny place near a beach previously, and I only noticed the absence of the sun after living in london weather for a couple of years.
'Huh, the sun is nice.'
As my mind started to wander towards the sun, I thought more and more about the importance of the sun. I decided on my second bow.
My initial plan was just the first bow of gratitude, but I guess plans change.
I do feel grateful for the sun itself, so why not a bow of gratitude?
Praise the sun and all.
After all, it is what gives life to nearly all things on Earth, including me. Without it, life wouldn't exist.
And so it was that I gave my second bow.
As I lift my head, my mind is already racing to what else I am grateful for.
I start thinking about my life and everything that exists just so I can live.
My mind jumps from one thing to another, and after just a minute, I already have a list with a couple of things in mind that I am thankful for.
I pause.
There are too many things I can think of, and if I decide to bow to everything, I would be here for hours.
So I improvise and list it all under 'universe'.
That's right, the universe. I am thankful for so many things that only this word feels appropriate, 'the universe' and all things included in it.
I am grateful for all the stars and the other planets in our solar system.
I have watched too many documentaries about what would happen if any of the planets were just a tad bit different in size: Earth would be affected astronomically, and life on Earth would die and cease to exist.
So yes, I am thankful to other planets. I am also thankful for life itself, and for whoever or whatever allowed me to live this life. I thank the gravity for existing, I thank light, I thank mass, I thank karma, I thank fate. I thank everything that comes to mind, the abstract, and the tangible.
I thank all things, an encompassing universe, and all that exists.
I give my third bow.
As I rise from my third bow, I decide to give one last special thanks.
As the idea of my last bow solidified in my mind, it just feels right to give this bow to gratitude.
This time, I bowed to Mother Earth. It's where I was born, where I lived my previous life, and where I live my current life.
Long before I ever existed, people have prayed to Mother Earth. They have prayed to the skies, the directions, the weather, the harvest, the hunt, and so many other things that happen on earth or involve earth in some way. So yes, it just feels right to give my thanks and prayer as well.
Thus, I gave my final bow.
As I am giving my bow, I keep in mind all the things I am thankful for.
I thank her for being the cradle of humanity. I thank her for the water. I thank her for the air. I thank her for the elements.
I go on and on, giving more than twenty reasons to thank her, but they could be summarized by saying I am thankful to Mother Earth for allowing life to exist and for nurturing it.
To be continued…