Chapter 4 - love,my foot!

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 4

𖣘

ETHAN

I tried to hold on to the little lie I had prepared—that I really did visit the school clinic because I wasn't strong enough to go all the way to our family doctor. Maybe if I said it calmly enough, Mom would believe me, but my mom wasn't the type to just take words. She was suspicious, and her eyes didn't leave me for a second.

"Ethan," she said in her usual strict voice. "If you're straying, if you're keeping secrets from me, you will destroy this family and everything your father has built."

Her warning made my chest tighten. I hated moments like this. She always made me feel like a child again, caught in something I couldn't explain.

"I'm telling the truth," I said quickly, shaking my head.

But I wasn't surprised when she reached for her phone. That was my mom—she never believed until she confirmed, and that was frustrating as hell. Voicing out my frustration would only seem like betrayal, and the last thing I wanted was to hurt her.

My life is a complicated mess, and I really needed her to see I'm not a child anymore. I'm an adult now, and I can make my own choices.

When she dialed, my fingers curled tightly in my lap. My throat went dry. She didn't even give me time to breathe before she placed the call on speaker so I could hear everything.

"Greetings, Mrs. Wilson," Mr. Mason's cheerful voice came through.

"Two professors said Ethan missed their classes," Mom said, going straight to the point because time meant the world to her. "He claims he was sick, so I'm calling to clarify."

I held my breath, silently praying Mr. Mason would cover for me. There was a pause, then his voice came again. "Even my class—he left halfway."

My heart dropped.

Mom snapped her head toward me, and I could feel her eyes burning holes into my skin.

But then he continued, "He told me he wasn't feeling well. And yes, I saw him walking toward the school clinic… I guess he wasn't really feeling well."

My shoulders sagged with relief, and I almost whispered a thank you, but Mom ended the call before I could breathe properly. I had just opened my mouth to speak when my phone buzzed with a message. I checked quickly, my eyes almost popping out at the content.

"Did you do a handjob… or were you interrupted before that could happen?"

Doctor Jeffery. What was his problem?

My stomach flipped, and I deleted the text in panic, forcing a shaky smile when I saw Mom watching me. She knew I had no other contacts apart from her and a few of my professors.

"It's just… a spam message," I muttered. Her gaze remained fixed on me for a moment before she sighed and leaned back in her seat.

Just then, my sister Piper walked in, looking exhausted from an all-nighter.

"Oh my, Piper, are you alright? You look tired," Mom said, holding Piper close.

"Mum, I'm fine. I stayed all night because I want to finish preparing a proposal for the Andrews meeting—it's tonight. I can't slack behind."

"Okay, do your best."

Mom encouraged her.

Piper faked a smile and walked upstairs—typical her, always about work and nothing else.

I wasn't even acknowledged.

"What are you still doing here?" she asked me.

I smiled and walked out.

I went outside, walked to the parking lot, and slipped into my car. As I started the engine, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I drove off, but my hands were trembling on the wheel because of the way I was seen in the house—as competition my sister is waiting to crush, for betraying my mom this badly.

I don't know if there are people out there like me with such parents and siblings who don't care about them.

"I'm going to be perfect and stay away from Doctor Jeffery," I vowed, but even as I said those words, I couldn't help but swallow nervously.

I sat through every class, stared at the board, even forced myself to jot down notes, but my traitorous mind wasn't with me. Every word the lecturer spoke slipped past my ears. Three classes ended in a blur, and I couldn't remember a single thing that had been taught.

When the lecturer left, we had an hour break before the last class. Instead of going to get something to eat, I slipped into an empty classroom. The silence inside pressed down on me until I couldn't hold it in anymore. My shoulders shook, and I broke down quietly.

I buried my face in my hands. "God, forgive me," I whispered, my voice trembling. "This is wrong. I know it's wrong."

I don't consider myself religious, but I've sat through countless masses, grown up knowing what lust was and the sin it carried… yet I couldn't control it.

Tears stung my eyes as I begged for strength, for control, but even as I prayed, the devil played his part—my thoughts kept drifting to him, to the voice I had heard in my dreams.

A light touch on my shoulder made me jump. My head snapped up, and my heart skipped when I saw Arnold standing there.

Arnold was the guy who had taken the top spot in class when my GPA dropped. He was brilliant, admired by teachers and students alike. He was a guy I had secretly crushed on, but one I could only swallow those feelings for.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, pulling out a chair and sitting so close to me, his eyes searching mine with genuine concern.

It was surprising because Arnold had never been this close to me, and I had never been close to him either… Not that I couldn't. Sitting here with my crush while all I could think about was getting fucked…

Dangerous.

He wasn't a bad person, far from it, but the thought of being alone with him scared me. What if one thing led to another? What if he touched me and I couldn't control myself, my needs?

Oh no, he's not gay, right?

Even if I wanted to lose my innocence, it shouldn't be with someone from school. Besides, I'd prefer an older man.

His hand touched my cheek, wiping away the tears I hadn't realized were still there. I blinked at his action, frozen.

"I'm fine," I muttered quickly, standing before the silence grew too awkward. My hands brushed over my face, desperate to erase the remaining trace of tears.

"Ethan…"

I didn't let him finish. I walked out without looking back and forced myself to return to class, my heart pounding too hard.

I sat through the last lesson like a ghost, my eyes aching from holding everything in, but somehow, I managed. When lectures were finally over, I began packing my books, eager to escape, when Arnold walked up to me.

Where did he even find the nerve to come close? Everyone in class knew me to be prideful—the boy who avoids eye contact and is seen as a 'nerd', the perfect son of the Wilson family and a competitor. That included him. Mom didn't want me having any friends, and being cold was the only way I could scare people off. But here was Arnold, standing like we'd always been friends.

"There's a party at my place next week… in case you want to come." His voice was low as he slipped something into my hand.

I looked down to see he had written his number on the paper, and for a moment, I wanted to shove it back at him, snap, tell him to leave me the hell alone, but before I could, he had already walked away.

I tossed it aside carelessly, trying to convince myself I didn't care… but my hands betrayed me. I stopped, turned back, and picked it up again, like a man under some stupid spell.

When I was packing up my books again, my phone buzzed with a message from Mom.

"I won't be back tonight. I'm attending the Andrews dinner where your sister will make the proposal. We'll be spending time together. Love you."

Love, my foot…

I sighed in relief and typed a quick reply, "Take care of yourself."

I slipped my phone into my bag and left school, but my mind carried me someplace else. Instead of going home, I found myself standing in front of Doctor Jeffery's office.

I didn't even remember deciding to come here. One moment, I had been wiping tears in an empty classroom, begging myself for forgiveness. The next, I was here...standing outside the very place I had sworn never to return to, a place that felt like it was meant for sinners.

And worse, I had dressed exactly the way he had asked me to. Something loose, something easy: shorts and a cropped top I'd seen online—just temptation. I hadn't dressed like this to school—no, I had worn a hoodie which I'd taken off after leaving school, and it was now in my bag.

My hand hovered over the door handle, trembling. I wanted to know what would happen if I stepped inside. Maybe he would finally give me the release I had been craving; maybe he would ruin me completely like I'd always wanted.

But fear held me still.

I wanted this, and at the same time, I didn't... But my want was stronger than my don't.

"What's wrong with me?" I whispered, chest tightening. The place was quiet, but my head screamed with voices: my mother's warnings, my own guilt, Doctor Jeffrey's words replaying like poison and honey at once.

I leaned against the door, breathing hard, trapped between who I was and who I was becoming. Then the door swung open. I staggered inside and collided with something warm and solid. My back pressed against him before I even registered who it was.

I tried to move, but his arm held me steady and his breath brushed my ear dangerously.

"You really thought you could walk away?" he whispered softly. "You couldn't. You came back because your mind was already mine. You want to know if I'll really take what you're offering."

Every hair on my body stood on edge, pulse thundering. I pushed away from his chest and finally looked up. He was so tall—looking at him made me feel like I was staring at the sky. He stood there, calm and smug like a man who had just won a game I hadn't even realized I was playing.

I lifted my chin, refusing to let him see the awkwardness inside me. "I actually came to say thank you. Your… lessons helped me distract myself."

But he wasn't listening. His eyes had already traced their way down, fixated shamelessly on me. His smirk deepened.

"I guess bodies don't lie."

I frowned, confused, until I followed his gaze and my breath caught. My nipples were straining visibly against the thin fabric of my top, betraying me completely.

Damn it.

I tried to control my dick, which was already hardening.

Before I could react, he pulled me close again, turning me so my back pressed firmly against him. That heat...

Shit.

My body shivered at the sinful thought that maybe, just maybe, he was as affected as I was. Oh, God help me.

His fingers brushed along my jaw, slowly, showing off their length and strength as if reminding me exactly what they could do.

"How was last night?" he whispered.

I bit my lip, refusing to answer, but when his hand slid lower—accidentally… or maybe not accidentally—brushing over the hard peaks of my nipples, a betraying moan slipped past my lips before I could stop it.

His warm breath fanned against my neck, sending a chill racing down my spine even as heat pooled low inside me, my body betraying me further.

"Should we continue from where we left off yesterday…" he whispered softly, "though this session might get a little… more theoretical and explicit. By that, I mean we'll be practicing… not just talking."

I swallowed, my stomach twisting with anticipation. The words made my pulse quicken because I knew exactly what he meant, and even in my awareness, my body responded eagerly as I gave a small nod.

Then he turned me slightly, leaning down until his teeth grazed my nipple through the thin fabric in a teasing bite. The unexpected action made my breath hitch and my dick harden completely.

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𝑇𝐵𝐶