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Gensokyo.
Upon returning to Gensokyo with the massive shipment of Parsnips (Windbreak Grass), Yakumo Yukari wasted no time.
She widely distributed "Hero Invitations," summoning every major youkai to a grand banquet.
For Megumu Iizunamaru, the Great Tengu of Youkai Mountain, Yukari sent thirteen gold-plated invitations in rapid succession. The letters were filled with flowery apologies for the "misunderstanding" regarding the strawberry incident and humbly begged for her presence.
Megumu was so dazzled by the sweet talk that she genuinely thought Yukari had turned over a new leaf.
It wasn't until she arrived at the banquet venue in her finest robes that she realized the truth: Yakumo Yukari was still Yakumo Yukari. One should never harbor unrealistic fantasies about that old hag.
The other youkai who arrived early shared the same sinking feeling.
You're telling me this pile of dirt-colored roots is the main course?
But escape was impossible. Yukari had erected a high-level barrier around the venue.
"No one leaves until every last root is eaten!"
The trapped guests looked at each other. The logic was simple: If I'm stuck here eating this, I'm taking you down with me.
The phrase "misery loves company" became the motto of the day. The guests began calling their friends, tricking them into coming. The more people there were, the less each person had to suffer.
Soon, nearly every youkai in Gensokyo had been lured into the barrier.
"Actually, you don't need to look so miserable," a calm voice announced. "Although this tastes bitter, it is edible and has excellent medicinal properties."
The Head Chef for this banquet was none other than Yagokoro Eirin, the Brain of the Moon. When it came to pharmacology, no one in the multiverse could compare to her.
Eirin brought out rows of clay pots from Eientei and began brewing... medicine.
Yes, brewing medicine.
Recipe: 50g fresh Parsnip + fresh Dichroa root. Boil down three bowls of water into one.
To avoid wasting the "hard-earned" ingredients, Eirin personally stood by the pots, ladling out the sludge. The youkai, forced into a single file line, accepted their bowls with expressions akin to death row inmates.
They drank. They gagged. They frantically stuffed berries into their mouths to kill the taste.
Regret. Pure, unadulterated regret.
Why did they believe Yukari's lies about a "Stardew Valley Gourmet Tasting Convention"? Not a single word out of that gap witch's mouth was true. This "Stardew Valley" must be Eirin's homeworld or something—who starts a farm by planting liver-detox medicine?!
Far away in Stardew Valley, Leo had no idea he was already famous. To the residents of Gensokyo, he was now known as the "Hypertension Medicine Man."
"Why aren't you drinking?"
Eirin held a bowl of extra-concentrated, sludge-thick medicinal soup. She stared at Yukari, who was inching toward the exit.
"This soup... no, this ingredient is extremely precious," Yukari said solemnly, placing a hand over her heart. "It should be left for the guests. As the host, I will sacrifice my share."
Yukari had watched Ran and Chen drink a bowl earlier. Their tails had gone stiff as boards. She wasn't touching that stuff.
"That won't do," Eirin smiled, her eyes cold. "Gensokyo is one big family. We share joys and sorrows. Drink."
Eirin held the bowl out like a weapon.
"No, no, you've worked so hard," Yukari backed away slowly. "You should have the honor."
Bump.
Yukari hit a wall. A wall of angry, bitter-tasting youkai.
"Get her!" someone shouted.
"No! Let go of me... Gulp, gulp, gulp... BLEH!"
Pinned to the ground in a cross-armbreaker by Suika and Yuugi, the Great Sage of Youkai struggled frantically. But it was useless against the Oni's strength.
Eirin cruelly shoved a funnel into Yukari's mouth and poured a triple-dose bowl of Parsnip-Coptis extract down her throat.
"Bleh!"
Have you ever seen a kitten having a seizure? Yukari, who usually maintained an image of untouchable elegance, was now thrashing on the ground, kicking her legs in the air like a dying cockroach.
Around her, cameras flashed. Not a single person showed sympathy.
This was the daily life of Gensokyo: a group of immortal girls sabotaging each other for entertainment.
"Is it really that bitter?" Eirin took a sip from her own bowl. "Seems like perfectly normal medicine to me."
Stardew Valley.
Unaware of the chaos he had caused, Leo was enjoying a peaceful afternoon of fishing.
Technically, the Mountain Lake near the Mines was easier—carp were dumb and weak. But he had no bait. At least the beach provided free bait in the form of shellfish.
His luck was good today.
He had a full stomach from the scallop feast and had managed to catch five fish using the leftovers. Added to his previous four, he now had nine fish.
Only eleven more to complete Chen's invitation quest.
To ensure he could pet the catgirl legally in the future, Leo didn't eat a single fish. He stored them all in his chest, planning a grand "All-Fish Feast" to celebrate once he hit the target.
Walking home, Leo noticed the bushes lining the path were dotted with small, green berries.
Salmonberries.
In about 15 days, these would ripen into red, gold, and juicy snacks. In the game, they were cheap trash sold for pennies, but for early-game energy, they were a godsend.
Ding-dong!
His phone chimed. A message from the Customer Service Backend.
Yakumo Ran: [Image.jpg]
Leo opened the image.
It was a high-resolution photo of Yakumo Yukari, the terrifying Gap Sage, pinned to the floor, eyes rolled back, foam at the corners of her mouth, kicking her legs in the air while being force-fed sludge.
Without a second's hesitation, Leo made the only correct choice: Save Image.
A few seconds later, the image was recalled by the sender.
Ran sent a single smiley face emoji. :)
Leo: Okay dear, bye.
He put the phone away and continued walking, whistling a tune. He could guess why the elegant Miss Yukari ended up like that. It seemed the Parsnips really were terrible.
On the way back, he picked a few Common Mushrooms growing under the trees. They were tough and rubbery, but the texture was meaty—like raw scallop.
He also raided his field for a handful of Garlic Scapes (green garlic shoots).
Using the large pot Ran had left behind, Leo brewed a simple Mushroom and Garlic Soup for dinner.
Life was good. Unless you were Yakumo Yukari.
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