Darkness and cold wrapped around me.
My consciousness floated and sank in deep water, sometimes dragged into bone-piercing chill, sometimes flung onto scorching clouds. Fragmented, blurry sounds came to my ears: Father's sobbing, Mother's low voice, and the anxious discussions of the imperial physicians.
"Cold qi has entered the lungs…"
"An old condition has been triggered…"
"Strong medicine is needed…"
Something bitter was poured into my throat. I instinctively resisted, but someone gently yet firmly pinched my jaw and made me swallow. My body felt as if it were being roasted over fire, then thrown into an ice cave—alternating heat and cold tormented me so much that even in my stupor I kept shivering.
I did not know how much time passed. The burning gradually receded, replaced by a lingering, bone-deep cold and weakness. At last I could barely lift my heavy eyelids.
What came into view were the familiar bed curtains—Su Residence, my bedroom.
Outside the window the light was dim; I couldn't tell whether it was dawn or dusk. Father was asleep at the bedside, dark circles heavy beneath his eyes. Even in sleep his brow was tightly furrowed. His hand was still holding mine, his palm warm.
I tried to move. My whole body ached as if it were falling apart. My throat was so dry it burned, and I couldn't help letting out a soft cough.
Father woke at once.
"Yuzhi! You're awake!" He sat upright abruptly, his eyes instantly red. With trembling hands he touched my forehead.
"Thank Heaven… the fever's gone… How do you feel? Where does it hurt? Do you want some water?"
I nodded with difficulty.
He quickly turned to pour warm water, carefully helped me up, and brought the cup to my lips. The warm liquid moistened my parched throat, and I felt my mind clear a little.
"How long… have I slept?" My voice was terribly hoarse.
"A full three days." Father's voice carried a sob. "The imperial physicians said the cold invaded your body and triggered your old illness. The fever wouldn't go down, and you almost… almost…" He couldn't go on, only gripping my hand tightly.
Three days. So I had been unconscious that long.
"What about… the palace?" I thought of the fall into the water, of those eyes that had stared at me.
Father's expression shifted slightly. He hesitated, then finally sighed. "Her Majesty ordered a full investigation. Fourth Princess insisted that Third Princess lost her footing herself, and the few clan girls who were there testified the same.
Her Majesty punished Fourth Princess with half a month of confinement and made her copy The Model of Generals a hundred times. She also bestowed some tonics on Third Princess. And that matter… was considered settled."
Half a month of confinement, a hundred times of copying.
I tugged at the corner of my mouth, a chill spreading through my heart. That was the result of a princess bullying her sister and nearly causing her death?
And the one who had truly been pushed into the water and nearly died received only a few light "rewards"?
"You in the future…" Father looked at me, his eyes full of deep worry and lingering fear.
"You must never be so reckless again! You are a boy, and your body is weak—how could you… how could you jump into the water to save someone? If something had happened to you, how could I—" He choked and couldn't continue.
"Father," I weakly interrupted him, "the situation was urgent. I… didn't think that much."
"Didn't think that much?" Father was both anxious and angry. "You need to think about the Su family! Think about yourself! Do you know how dangerous this relapse of your cold illness was? The imperial physicians said your lungs and viscera are weaker than normal. After being shocked by that icy water, I'm afraid… I'm afraid it will leave an even deeper root of illness!"
My heart sank. Yes, this body was already frail; now it was even worse.
"Where is Mother?" I asked.
"Your mother is in the study, discussing follow-up prescriptions with the senior imperial physician."
Father tucked in my quilt. "Yuzhi, listen to me— from now on… stay far away from those nobles in the palace, especially… that Third Princess."
I looked up at him.
"Her status is awkward and her situation difficult. Being too deeply entangled with her brings no benefit to you or to the Su family."
Father lowered his voice. "This time you saved her; that was benevolence enough. From now on, forget this matter."
Forget?
I closed my eyes. Those deep eyes that had locked onto me through the chaos—how could I forget them?
But seeing Father's worried, haggard face, I only gave a soft "Mm."
The days that followed were spent amid the scent of medicine and my family's strict care.
The imperial physicians came daily to take my pulse.
Decoctions were given three times a day, without fail. The medicine was black and bitter, with a sharp, pungent smell. Every time I drank it, Father held the bowl himself. After watching me grimace and swallow it, he would immediately put a candied fruit into my mouth.
Grandmother also came every day, sitting by my bed and stroking my head with a sigh.
"My good grandson has suffered." Then came even stricter orders: I was never to enter the palace again without elders accompanying me; whenever I went out I had to bring plenty of servants; if the weather was even slightly cool I had to add more clothing…
Mother did not come often, but each time she did, she would sit in silence for a while, ask a few questions about how I felt, and then gaze at me for a long time. Her eyes were hard to read—there was concern, there was scrutiny, and perhaps also a weight I could not understand.
My recovery was very slow. Coughing became routine. A little wind would make me cough until it tore at my chest. My hands and feet were icy year-round; even wrapped in thick quilts, I always felt cold seeping out from my bones.
My stamina was far worse than before—just walking a few steps would make me dizzy and short of breath.
It was as if I had become that porcelain doll again, carefully raised in swaddling clothes when I was first born—only worse.
The one thing that gave me a little comfort was my sisters' visits.
Eldest Sister Su Pei came back from the military camp and brought me a small, exquisitely carved jade ruyi to "ward off fright."
She didn't say much, only ruffled my hair hard. "Little brother, well done. But next time… know your limits." The approval in her eyes was real.