They sat on a log outside, Selira tending to the fire, removing coals before they turned to ash and adding new wood as needed.
The half-moon was already high in the sky.
She hasn't said anything, Faelan thought, glancing at Selira. There's not much I want to hear, though.
His head rested against his knees, though his gaze occasionally flickered toward the tacarrox curled beside the fire.
Selira hummed a gentle tune, a small smile on her face.
She's doing it again.
Faelan studied her for a while before speaking.
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what? The sound? It's called humming..."
"No, not that. The smile. You don't have to smile if you don't want to."
"But I do want to."
She turned to him.
"Although, it seems you've noticed it's not like a usual smile."
"Why isn't it like a usual smile?"
"Because you have to feel happy for that."
She paused.
"I don't."
Faelan stiffened at her words.
"You've never felt happy?"
"No."
The fire crackled between them.
"What happened?" Faelan asked.
"Nothing. I was born like this."
She looked toward the fire.
"I heard my parents had an easy time taking care of me when I was a baby. Apparently, I wasn't too fond of crying."
She chuckled, though the sound was hollow.
"Growing up, I didn't care about things. Or people. They simply brought me no joy. It all felt pointless."
Faelan remained silent, his eyes never leaving her.
"Naturally, I wasn't interested in the games the children played, so interacting with people wasn't something that came naturally to me. My parents would tell me to smile more. They believed a positive air put people at ease." She sighed.
"You don't?" Faelan asked.
"No. At least, not on its own. You'd also need mannerisms to go with it if you actually want to put people at ease. It wasn't very effective on people other than them, though. My mother seemed to like it when I smiled at her while she sang a lullaby."
"Is that what you were humming?"
"Yes. It reminds me of her."
Reminds? The thought ran through his mind before he spoke.
"Is she...?"
"Yes."
"Can I ask what happened?"
"I'd say yes."
She removed more coals from the fire.
"Being in a situation like mine, I was often left alone. I had a lot of time on my hands. Time to trample fields, run after farm animals, scare younger children, sometimes getting lost. It wasn't long before they began referring to me as a cursed child."
What does it mean to be cursed?
"Not that I blame them. Sometimes I even ruin the decorations on Elkrce."
"Elkrce?" Faelan repeated, puzzled.
"Can you see that?"
She pointed toward a distant structure near a wide hill.
"That stone is an Elkrce. Home to a forest deity, or land god. Apparently, it's why wild animals don't come out here. At least, that's how the story goes. There were even rules we followed to make sure we didn't anger it."
She looked toward the distant stone.
"One of them was not to go into the forest on certain days. Said days were only announced that morning, so it was often inconvenient."
The fire swayed as the wind blew.
"The night before, I planned to go into the forest to get some kakhao fruits, but then the morning announcement came. More or less, the plan changed."
"People usually stopped me from going too deep into the forest because it was dangerous, but they weren't there that day. Looking back at it now, it was a stupid idea, but I did it anyway."
"The forest was no different that day, but there was certainly more to see and more to do. I managed to avoid the large predators before I came across it."
She paused.
"Or rather, it came across me."
"I was picking mushrooms when I noticed it. Its feet first. But I heard no sound."
"Its fists dropped to the floor. Its body was purple, vaguely resembling a person, but it seemed to move on all fours."
She paused again.
"It was large."
Her voice remained strangely calm.
"And atop its head was a crest."
That sounds like the first time I saw Kaelreth.
"I thought it was the forest deity and bowed instantly, trying not to look at him, hoping not to anger him. Neither I nor he moved. I remained that way for what felt like hours. When I couldn't bear it anymore, I crawled away.
"He followed.
"I could feel each step down to my bones. I wondered if that was what fear felt like.
"As we moved through the forest, there were no animals in sight. It had gone quiet. The vines around the trees coiled tighter amongst themselves.
"It wasn't the path I had passed through. I was lost, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was the creature following me.
"I kept going deeper and deeper into the forest. I got multiple injuries that day. When the sun began setting, I decided to speak with it. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too angry."
***
"Great forest deity, forgive me for speaking to you in an unpleasant manner, but would you please help me find my way home?"
I bowed, trying to be as respectful as possible.
It stared at me for a moment.
"WHY BOW?"
Its voice grated across my ears.
"To show reverence."
"REVERENCE?"
It stretched out a hand.
***
"It was like I woke up from a dream. I was out of the forest, but my injuries remained.
"My parents found out I had gone into the forest. The whole village did.
"A week later, my parents fell sick. They died. So did other villagers.
"It was a plague.
"It happened because I broke the law."
Selira stared into the fire.
"Despite me being the one who broke it, I survived. The rest of the villagers left in search of greener pastures."
Did Kaelreth kill them?
"And you?" Faelan asked.
"This is green enough, don't you think?"
She gestured toward the grass growing around them.
They left her behind.
Selira stared at Faelan, his head no longer resting on his knees.
He noticed her gaze.
"You're curious?"
"Very," she replied in a calm tone.
"It ends similar to yours."
"That doesn't make it any less your own."
That's what makes it worse.
"I lived in a town by the mountains. There was a river nearby where my father would take me fishing. Sometimes he'd use spears, but he preferred to catch them with his bare hands. Said there was nothing you could trust more.
"He was a part of the local defense. They made sure no animal wandered too close, nor any person too far. Joining them wasn't an easy task. It was a decision you made when you were young. Most of the people in it were generations deep, so I was expected to join up just like my father.
"He didn't like the idea, but I loved it. I'd always tell my mum and sister that I'd become as strong as my father.
"Mum didn't like it either."
His expression darkened.
"How strong was your father?" Selira asked.
"I don't know. What I do know is he never fell ill, nor did he ever feel tired. He never struggled when carrying anything. He said it was because of the mark on his back."
"Was it like yours?" Selira asked.
"Not like mine. His was complete."
He paused.
"When I got to the right age, the process began. They'd cut deep into my back, apparently revealing my spine, then apply a concoction into it so it'd spread through my body."
"That sounds painful."
"It was. They repeated it every few months, as well as the training so we could become one of them.
"I barely made it through. Looking back on it now, I wasn't fit for it. Maybe my father already knew, but I'd gone too far to stop. I wanted to see it through.
"We were given a test. To try and kill an apex predator of our choice.
"So we left the village.
"I went into the mountains. For whatever reason, my father followed me without me knowing. Maybe it was as a supervisor. The others probably had the same."
He took a breath.
"I stumbled upon a cave with a small opening, but it was much larger than the one that sarited was in. I should have left the moment I saw it.
"Dark red fur covered its body. It was a canine called a loboan. Large, slitted eyes matching its fur. Each one was the size of a man.
"I made the mistake of thinking it was alone.
"In such a large, dark space, my father came in to help me. When I saw how many there were, I ran.
"Obviously, he would have too. It was common sense. He wouldn't stay there.
"It took a while before the loboans came after me. I couldn't outrun them, so I hid. Covered myself in mud. They ran past where I hid, but they found their way into town.
"I stayed hidden until their sounds were distant.
"When I went back into town... everyone was dead."
"You couldn't have kno—"
"But I did."
Faelan's voice cut her off.
"It was reckless of me to try and attack it in that cave. It was stupid to instantly go back to town. It was wrong..."
His voice faltered.
"Wrong for me to have just left him there."
"You would have ended up dead too."
"Yes."
He stared into the fire.
"My dad would have given his life. All I had to do was give mine."
His hands tightened.
"If I had stopped, none of it would have happened. If I didn't run away, none of them would be dead."
Selira couldn't deny his words.