One more night alone. He and his games. He and his beer. There was nothing else Ye-Jun would call a 'friend' in that apartment.
He had rehearsed long enough. A couple more scenes, a few more days. That series was history - thank god! Without much to do, he decided to read a little bit. There was a book he wanted to read for some time now; 'Narcissus and Goldmund'. Something in its blurb sounded intriguing. Or even familiar.
After going through the first twenty pages or so, his phone rang. It was Mi-Suk.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"What did you do?" Mi-Suk asked back.
"Huh? I don't understand."
"You must have something to do with it. Chloe is talking with Noelle in her office. From her look, it's something important," Mi-Suk explained.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Are you sure? I just got back to my desk and I sense a lot of tension radiating from that room."
Ye-Jun thought about it for a second. He hadn't said or done anything. He didn't care anymore. Could Christmas be complaining? Could she be… leaving?
He wouldn't care about that either.
"Sorry Mi-Suk. I guess Christmas got herself in trouble without my assistance this time."
"OK, I'll see what I can find out. You? Are you ready for tomorrow? We'll drop the big news," Mi-Suk asked.
Ye-Jun cackled. "For the past nine months I've been longing for this moment."
"How do you feel when a relationship like this ends? I haven't asked you before."
"The same as when it started. Nothing at all."
They greeted each other and hung up the phone.
A small seed of worry had been planted in him. For Christmas to have done something serious enough to require Chloe's intervention, it had to be related to him.
But he had decided not to care anymore. The image of the girl crying at the bus stop returned to his mind, drowning him with guilt.
She wasn't crying about me. I am sure.
He dove into the book again. But it seemed that night he would have company.
The intercom buzzed.
Curious about who could be visiting him this late, he checked the app on his mobile.
The face he saw made him jump to his feet.
What is she doing here?
Mi-Ok was standing at the entrance of his building. Black sunglasses and a large hat were covering her features. She was alone.
Should I just pretend I'm away?
The thought was quickly dismissed. He remembered what she said during their last promotion. The timing of her appearance at his doorstep couldn't be a coincidence.
He let her in.
When his apartment bell rang, he was already by the door. His hand rested on the lock for a few seconds. He was still uncertain. Finally, he opened the door.
"Mi-Ok. How can I help you?"
"Can I come in for a minute? We need to talk."
About what? Ye-Jun breathed out. "Come."
He closed the door and guided her to the kitchen island. He wouldn't lead her to the living room, nor offer her a drink. Five minutes. That was the maximum time she would be staying.
Mi-Ok removed her hat and her sunglasses. She looked at him. Her eyes were red, swollen.
OK, maybe she can stay ten minutes.
"What's going on, Mi-Ok?"
"Ye-Jun…"
He shivered. His name. Again.
"Tomorrow… they announce it."
He leaned against the counter. "That was the plan all along. Nine months and two weeks."
"It's not enough."
He hated where that was leading. "I was informed we've achieved all our goals."
"All… but one."
He wouldn't ask. Her watery eyes begged him to care. Still, he just knew. She wasn't the one.
"Ye-Jun, when Mr. Chung told me about this option, I thought it was fate. Money was no object. I gave everything I had, even asked my father to contribute, but it was the only way to be close to you."
Ye-Jun's expression hardened. "That was never…"
"I thought," she cut in, "that during this time you wouldn't have to act. That you'd see me. And you would understand."
Silence.
"But you never did, did you? I wasn't pretending, Ye-Jun."
Am I supposed to say something now?
He remained silent, processing what he had heard, while Mi-Ok was ready to burst into tears.
He took her hand into his.
"Mi-Ok. All this, us, it was a contract. A performance I never asked for. If I'd known you felt more than that, I wouldn't have agreed."
She was staring at his hand, gently pressing hers. "But in the stories… the couple always falls in love. For real."
"In the stories. This is business. For two people to fall in love, they need to be right for each other. We are not, Mi-Ok. We'd easily destroy each other."
He grasped her hand with both of his, and smiled at her. She had believed closeness could be bought. He knew better. He had been sold his whole life.
For that, he owed her some kindness.
There was a message on his mobile, and let go of her hand. 'I'll be there in five minutes,' it read.
"Mi-Ok, Mr. Chung is coming. He'll wait for you downstairs." Ye-Jun had called him before letting Mi-Ok upstairs. Mr. Chung was already looking for her.
"I don't want to go…"
"Please, Mi-Ok. You know that you are breaking the contract by being here. I left Chloe out of this. Don't make it more difficult."
Her eyes blurred.
She extended her hand and tried to reach for his, the one resting on the counter.
When he noticed, he stepped back, as if electrified. Without a word, without an explanation.
She stared blankly into space. "So this is how showbiz treats love."
Mi-Ok just turned around and walked out. She didn't even cast a final glance at Ye-Jun.
He didn't stop her. It would give the wrong signals. Better that way.
Though her silence felt ominous. Ye-Jun hoped he wouldn't have to deal with her anytime soon.
Back to his solitude, he returned to his book. The tension that the earlier visit caused him was over soon. But after a while the buzz from his phone would shatter his serenity again.
"Hello Ye-Jun. I heard you had a visitor."
Chloe sounded indifferent. If she really were she wouldn't have called.
"Yeah, it was a farewell visit."
"I would prefer to have heard it from you."
"It was nothing I couldn't handle."
"Let me judge that. Anyhow, we have more important stuff to deal with now," Chloe said, now concerned.
He waited, silent. If it was important to Chloe it would suck.
"Jang Dong-Hyun is visiting in three days."
His blood froze in his veins.
Mr. Jang.
The man who beat him in an alley.
The man who shaped his future.
The man who took away his options.
"It's the typical visit, once a year. For your birthday present. You know the drill."
Yeah… It wasn't the first time. But every meeting seemed more dangerous than the previous.
"I'll be there."
"I know. You'll see it in your schedule. Wear something good."
"I will. Good night."
He took his book again. The chances to continue reading were zero. But he carefully read a few more lines. There was a passage that caught his attention:
'I take you seriously when you are Goldmund. But you're not always Goldmund. I wish nothing more than to see you become Goldmund through and through.'
He was so much like Goldmund. Always pretending to be someone else. Goldmund chose to act like someone he wasn't supposed to be. Ye-Jun had no say in that.
When would Ye-Jun have the strength to be himself? When would he be able to explore what he would like to do with the rest of the time granted to him? When would he stop being a puppet posing next to whatever woman was selected for him?
"Probably when Mr. Jang stops delivering birthday presents…" he told himself with a sad smile.