It had been a couple of weeks since I had seen her. I was trying to erase her from my mind and my life. I knew it would be hard for her to do the same when she had to stare at the mark that I had given her every single damn day in the mirror but I knew that in a couple of weeks it would be all gone.
I felt our bond weaken daily and I knew that the mark was slowly fading. I could still feel her emotions but they did not come in strong waves as they had a couple of weeks ago. In the last few days however I had felt her happiness level increase.
She had been in pain ever since the day that we had parted ways. The following day I felt her heart ace and I guessed that she had gone back to work. This went on for a couple of days. Her heart would ache during the day and at night all I felt was empty sadness.
I could no longer take it so I emailed Quinnell. I hated that son of a b***h but if talking to him meant that she would no longer ho through this pain I was willing to do it. I even said please in the letter which pissed me off so much.
I explained to him that she and I had no relationship whatsoever and that she had not betrayed him at all. I explained that what I had done that day had nothing to do with her and that it was all my problem which I had dealt with completely and that I was no longer going to invade his space and territory as long as he did not do anything that would hurt her in any way whether emotionally or physically. I promised to do anything in return and asked him to strictly keep it a secret from her because I no longer wanted to interfere with her life.
Of course the mother f****r had a field day with the email. He sent me a bunch of laughing emoticons and told me that he would think about it. Knowing that I was completely in his grasp he would call a bunch of times for no reason just to get me all riled up.
Finally he made his offer. He asked me to pull my offer for the tech deal and leave the investors no choice but to go with his. It was ridiculous to assume that I would do that and out my company at risk for a girl who did not even want me. I did. I pulled my offer and jeopardized my company's future and gave my nemesis the upper hand in business all for a girl who did not want me even breathing the same air as hers.
The board of directors were pissed. Many of my other investors threatened to pull out their funds as week but I did not really care at all. I did not take calls for a week and eventually they all have up.
After the day that I accepted his deal , I felt a weight get lifted from her chest. Her mood brightened and the dark cloud that hang over her cleared up. I sent someone to check on her and her depressing drinking habit had disappeared and she would hum on her way to work. That made me feel lighter. However I felt nothing.
The more I stayed away from her the more I felt my emotions fade. I had gone back to my original state. I felt nothing. This had always been a tool that I had used my whole life to protect myself but the more I grew up the more I learnt how detached I was from the world.
When I used to play with other kids who only did so because my father was the Alpha they would often call me a monster. Why? I did not feel anything. When they would throw a rock at me intentionally to prove to their friends what a beast I was, I would bleed profusely from my forehead but I would smile when I saw them laughing.
I had been taught that laughter indicated happiness so I thought it was an enjoyable sport. After I would smile. They would continue. Hitting me with all sorts of objects, one even cut me with a knife. I would laugh with them.
When I tried to have them share in whatever it was, they won't be run away screaming. I would then walk home with my head held low and sneak back into the house wondering what had happened and why they had just left like that.
I was not allowed outside my compound so even when I left home it would be through sneaking out.
The kids would come with their parents and get on their knees to beg my father's forgiveness for hitting me after they had confessed the truth to their parents. My father would send them away claiming that it was all okay.
They would leave crying not knowing whether he would retaliate or what punishment he would give them. Would he banish them from the pack? Send them to the human realm? Offer their cubs to other packs as a deal over territory? They would leave crying, all this scenarios probably playing in their heads over and over and over again.
My mother would run upstairs. She would dive right into our session on human emotions. She would teach me that normal people feel pain when struck by a stone or stabbed using a knife. I would ask why then would the other kids laugh as they did it. She would remain silent then run out crying.
My father would walk in and give me his own lesson. His was more realistic. It would include real examples.
My mother's was just theory. His was practical.