The human mind is more fragile than one might think.
Even when it seems steadfast, it often shatters over the most trivial things. When that happens, you're forced to choose one of two paths.
Become a wreck, or become dependent on something.
Abroad, it seems people often turn to drugs made from the blood and flesh of demonic beasts. But in Korea, such things are hard to come by, so it's more common to depend on things like games, the internet, or religion.
In those early stages, it's still manageable. With the right counseling and medication, you can recover quickly.
But if the heart sickens and begins to fester, things get complicated.
"Hyun-woo, you won't leave me all alone, will you? Right?"
"…"
[13:24]
I have to leave soon, you know?
Even the most oblivious person starts to get a clue when their life is on the line.
That's just how survival instincts work.
As Iris gripped my wrists with both hands and looked up at me, she was breathtakingly beautiful.
There was about a head's difference in height between us, so I was naturally looking down at her.
Thanks to that, despite her modest dress, the valley of her tits was in clear view, driving me crazy. If this kept up, I was afraid I'd get so worked up down there I'd cause a lore-breaking event, like bringing a mortar into another world.
Of course, as inconvenient as it was, it was a situation any man would have to smile at. Still, my back was drenched in cold sweat.
For a while now, my instincts had been screaming at me to run.
...This is driving me nuts.
I'll say it again: I'm a mage.
A pissant 1st Circle one, sure, but it allowed me to feel the mana in nature and the magic power of others.
In other words, I had awakened what people commonly call a sixth sense.
Being able to feel things an ordinary person couldn't meant I was no longer ordinary. On the bright side, if I returned to Earth and continued to grow, I could seize a level of wealth and fame with my own hands that others could never achieve in a lifetime of effort.
But if you were to ask me if that was a good thing right now, I could say with absolute certainty: NO!
The distance between Iris and me was so small I didn't even need to reach out.
Thanks to that, I had a front-row seat to her insanely pretty face, her breasts that I wanted to touch again, and even her fragrant scent. But on the other hand, the magic power I'd been feeling from her was anything but ordinary.
Her magic was churning like an active volcano that could erupt at any moment.
It was surging so violently that my skin tingled as if pricked by needles, and the lingering traces of her magic power made my brain ache.
And this is her with her magic suppressed...?
Out of nowhere, it was time for a review of what I'd just learned.
Basically, a mage takes in the mana from nature, makes it their own, and converts it into magic power.
That converted magic power gathers in the fuel tank that is the heart, becoming the fuel for casting spells.
Perhaps because it's centered in the heart, magic power is directly influenced by a mage's emotions.
Sadness, regret, hatred, resentment, self-blame, jealousy, anger.
The stronger the negative emotion, the more violently the magic power surges.
Just as a stormy sea is more threatening than a calm lake, stronger negative emotions have the merit of increasing the output of one's magic power. However, it also leads to rapid magic consumption and the risk of the opponent seeing through your spells. That's why maintaining an unshakable mind at all times is the most basic of basics for a mage.
Iris herself had emphasized this several times during our lessons.
"Hyun-woo. What are you thinking about?"
Right now, Iris was dangerous.
An 8th Circle Archmage was so lost in her negative emotions that she'd forgotten the most basic of basics.
In a situation like this, anything could happen.
"Nothing, really…"
"You're lying. Whenever you're troubled or want to change the subject, your voice gets strangely low."
Even in the dark cavern, her green eyes shone as if lit by a spotlight, fixed on me.
Her gaze swept over me from head to toe, and I felt as if my mind was being laid bare.
Just then, Iris's left hand brushed against my cheek.
"Just like now."
My feelings at this moment were simple and concise.
'...I think I'm going to piss myself.'
If I were just a normal person, I wouldn't be trembling like this. At most, my legs would be shaking a little.
This was all because my mana circle allowed me to feel magic power.
To me, someone who could sense magic, Iris right now was like an 8-ton truck with a broken engine.
Meaning, I had no idea when she was going to crash into me.
Of course, I didn't think Iris would do anything that drastic, but… you never know what can happen in this world.
'I think she's definitely misunderstanding something...'
If I could just explain things properly, the problem would be solved.
I wasn't sure what she was misunderstanding, but her mood had soured the moment I said I was going back, so that had to be it.
The situation was certainly awkward, but if I looked at it from another angle?
It could be interpreted that Iris didn't like the idea of me leaving.
'...I shouldn't smile.'
The corners of my mouth kept trying to creep upwards.
But if I smiled in a serious situation like this, the atmosphere would really go to shit.
As dense as I was, I wasn't that clueless.
"Iris, that's not it─"
"You don't have to say anything."
I resolved to explain the situation and break the tension, but what I got in return was a slender index finger pressing against my lips.
"I understand. You have your own life, Hyun-woo. I can't just be selfish."
In that instant, the magic power churning within her grew as quiet as if it had fallen asleep.
"Instead."
Iris leaned in, her face so red it looked like it might burst.
"...Please kiss me."
*
According to a post I once saw on an online forum, a first kiss feels like hot pollack roe entering your mouth.
Honestly, my reaction was that I had no fucking clue what that meant.
Hot pollack roe? I'd never even had regular pollack roe, let alone hot.
The metaphor was so weird it sounded like something a science nerd would write.
The reason I was suddenly thinking about this was…
"…"
It looked like I was about to have that very first kiss.
My vision filled with the sight of Iris, her eyes squeezed shut, lips puckered towards me, her entire face flushed with a blush so red it looked like it would explode.
I don't like repeating myself, but this was, for real…
'Fucking beautiful...'
Back in high school, there was a guy in my class who was so obsessed with an idol that he'd skip class to follow her to concerts, fan signings, and everywhere else on her schedule.
At the time, I thought, is he fucking crazy? But now, I think I get it.
I can guarantee you, most idols wouldn't even dare stand next to Iris.
Just as a slightly prettier squid standing next to a fairy doesn't become a fairy itself.
"I'm going to… okay?"
There was no reply, but the fact that she didn't pull away was answer enough.
'...Wait a second.'
Haa, haa. I discreetly checked my breath. Thankfully, it didn't smell.
Just when I thought I was ready, another worry suddenly crossed my mind.
'...But how far am I allowed to go with this?'
I knew for a fact that I absolutely could not just dive in with the kind of French kiss you see in porn.
So, the most basic peck?
But considering Iris had let me touch her breasts, wasn't a peck a little too childish for us?
No, I needed to solve a more fundamental question first.
Tongue or no tongue?
'Iris was the one who asked for the kiss, so a little tongue should be fine, right?'
That was my dominant thought, but the more I considered it, the more my brain was taken over by the idea that a woman's heart isn't that simple.
There's a saying that the slightest difference in wording can change everything, and there's also the adage that you should never take a woman's words and actions at face value.
'...Let's not take any risks.'
It was a shame, but I shouldn't rush things and screw it up.
Time was on my side, after all.
If I suddenly stuck my tongue in and started sucking away, and the mood turned sour, the only ending I could see was me drowning myself in a bucket of water.
"Hoo…"
Flinch! A small sigh escaped my lips out of nervousness, and Iris reacted with a start.
Just by looking at her reddened face, I could tell she was incredibly tense.
Iris seemed to be about 170cm tall, but since I was around 190cm, I had to bend down slightly to meet her eyes.
My gaze lowered to meet hers, and I saw Iris with her lips pressed tightly together.
'Her eyelashes… are so long.'
Thump, thump, thump.
That's weird.
My heart hadn't pounded this hard even when I touched her breasts.
But now, it was hammering so hard it felt like my mana circle might explode at any moment.
The space between us closed until we could feel each other's breath. I gently cupped her chin with my hand.
Then, as I felt my nose go numb from her sweet scent, I…
Peck.
…lost all reason.
·
·
·
·
"Mmph, schlick, haah… H-Hyun-woo…"
Our tongues tangled, two masses of red flesh.
Sticky saliva we couldn't swallow stretched into long threads before snapping.
It was like a honey pot that never ran dry, no matter how greedily I drank.
It was actually sweet.
My mind felt hazy, as if filled with a thick fog.
All my trivial worries from moments ago were long forgotten.
Squeeze!
"Hauk…?! H-Hyun-woo??"
When I grabbed her ass, Iris seemed to let out a sharp cry of surprise.
But she didn't push my hand away.
"...Mmph."
With no resistance, she focused on the kiss again, which I took as tacit consent.
As we frantically mixed our tongues, my hands didn't rest for a moment, kneading and toying with her buttocks. Her ass was huge, firm yet soft.
It was impossible to hold in one hand. The feel of her skin through the thin dress was just as stimulating as when I'd touched her breasts.
"Hah, heung, oop…"
As time passed, my hands grew bolder.
I went from simply kneading her ass to caressing her waist like a lover, or intentionally gathering the flesh on the underside of her butt and feeling its jelly-like bounce.
Each time, Iris would flinch, but she still didn't stop me. If anything, she pressed herself against me more insistently, as if asking for more.
Then, suddenly, I got greedy.
No matter how thin the fabric, wouldn't it feel much softer and better to touch her bare skin directly?
The deliberation was short, the action swift.
I caressed her thigh, slowly sliding her dress up along with my hand.
The dress that had blocked all exposure began to ride up, revealing a sliver of white ankle, then her shin, her knee, and finally, her milky-white thigh was exposed to the world.
"H-Hyun-woo, that's…"
Iris, who I thought would remain still no matter what I did, called my name in a faintly trembling voice.
I understood. Her dress had already become like a miniskirt.
If I went just a little higher, the entrance to a woman's secret garden—a place not to be shown to anyone—would be revealed.
'Tsk… Is this the limit?'
It was a shame, but forcing myself on someone who was clearly reluctant wasn't right.
No, if it had been any other woman, I might have just pushed ahead, but Iris's innocent eyes stimulated the tattered remains of my conscience.
Perhaps it was her voice stopping me, but I could feel the heated atmosphere cooling down.
And it wasn't just me; Iris's expression confirmed it.
"Uh… I'm sorry…"
"N-no, it's okay!"
I gave a short bow.
Just like when I touched her breasts, I had gone straight for a French kiss and then groped her ass to my heart's content.
It was a clear mistake.
"...Please lift your head. I'm really not bothered at all."
The way she graciously forgave my mistake gave me a strange sense of déjà vu.
As I met the gentle Iris's eyes, my lower body, which had been painfully swollen for a while now, began to throb.
"Then can I touch you again?"
"N-not right now…!"
Tsk, too bad.
Still, "not right now" implies she might allow it later, so I can take that as a positive response, right?
As I was lost in my own happy delusions, I suddenly remembered the time limit and quickly pulled out my phone.
[00:03]
"Ah."
[00:02]
All we did was kiss and a little skinship, but that had burned through more than ten minutes.
[00:01]
"I-instead, next time, a-all… all the…!"
[00:00]
[Returning to Earth.]
Like a monitor with a brilliant display suddenly losing power, the moment the timer hit zero, I was back in my room.
"...I couldn't even say goodbye."
I knew we'd meet again soon, but I still felt a pang of regret for not being able to say a proper farewell.