Morning. Ninja Academy Classroom.
The music stopped abruptly.
But Hiruzen was still immersed in it. He felt as if this music was made for him. His despair and sorrow were all encapsulated within these beats—even though he couldn't understand the English lyrics...
When the music stopped, Tobirama snapped out of it. He looked at Hiruzen, who was still twisting around like a weirdo, and felt a surge of anger.
"Hiruzen Sarutobi! What are you doing! Do you have no respect for me as your teacher?!"
Hiruzen didn't answer. He just kept gyrating.
The atmosphere in the classroom instantly became awkward. The only sound was the tap tap of Hiruzen's dancing feet.
Tobirama finally lost his patience. He used Flying Raijin to teleport right in front of Hiruzen, grabbed him by the collar, and slapped him twice across the face. Slap! Slap!
"Hiruzen Sarutobi! What is wrong with you!"
Hiruzen turned his head to the side. He didn't look at Tobirama. Suddenly, he burst out laughing.
"My life... is a comedy!" (Note: Joker quote).
Hearing Hiruzen say this, Tobirama wondered if he had slapped him too hard and caused brain damage.
"Hiruzen... if you have any problems, you can talk to me..."
Seeing Hiruzen still laughing maniacally, Tobirama sighed and told him to go back to his seat.
Standing at the podium, Tobirama seriously considered notifying the Sarutobi couple to start working on a second child...
Back in his seat, Hiruzen still wasn't behaving. He kept muttering "My life is a comedy..." over and over again.
This terrified the surrounding students.
Danzo was worried too.
Until Mizuna whispered into Hiruzen's ear:
"I'll introduce you to lots of beautiful girls later."
Instantly, Hiruzen snapped back to normal.
"Is that true? Fa..."
Before Hiruzen could say "Father," Mizuna covered his mouth.
"Please don't say that word... It'll shorten my lifespan..." (Note: "Yi Fu" / Adoptive Father meme).
Hiruzen shut up, but kept pestering Mizuna about when the introduction would happen.
Danzo got annoyed listening to them.
"Shut up! Hiruzen!"
It wasn't until school ended and Mizuna couldn't hear Hiruzen's voice anymore that he felt better.
Suddenly, Mizuna remembered he still had lottery draws left.
"System, start the draw! Use the Blue-Tier ones first!"
[Ding! Drawing... Congratulations Host! You obtained: Past Life Manga Library x1, Drawing Mastery x1, Infinite Draft Paper x1.]
"Huh? You want me to be a Mangaka? Are you serious?! How is this going to help me get stronger?! Dog System! Enough is enough!"
[You brat, what do you know? I'm preparing you for a big mission!]
"Big mission? What is it? You want me to become the King of Manga?"
[Ding! Issued Long-Term Mission: "God of Manga". Draw extraordinary manga and make the Ninja World boil with excitement! Every 10,000 fans gained will reward you with 1000 Dignity Points.]
Seeing this, Mizuna fell to his knees.
"Always taking from you, but never saying thank you~"
"Only after growing up do I know it wasn't easy for you~"
"Time! Time! Slow down..." (Note: Lyrics from "Father" by Chopsticks Brothers).
Mizuna started singing, but the System cut him off.
[Shut up! Trying to make me your dad? Do you want to work me to death? Besides, your real dad isn't dead yet!]
Hearing mention of his biological father, Mizuna instantly dropped the clown act.
"He... is not my father!"
Having seen the original Mizuna's memories, he knew exactly what kind of person his father was. A man who used his daughter as a political tool for marriage and abandoned his son just because he lacked talent in Sealing Jutsu...
"The Uzumaki clan is only surviving now by riding Konoha's coattails... Sooner or later, they will pay the price for showing off their skills in front of the other villages," Mizuna said coldly.
Seeing the mood get heavy, the System changed the subject.
[Kid, what's the first manga you're going to draw?]
"I don't know... I want something Shonen (Hot-blooded), but also with some knives (Tragedy/Angst)..."
Mizuna thought for a moment, then his eyes lit up.
"I got it! How about JoJo's Bizarre Adventure? It's hot-blooded! It has 'Gentlemanly Conduct'! And it only has 'a little bit' of tragedy! Where else can you find such a great manga?" Mizuna said excitedly.
[Are you sure those tags are accurate...? Especially the 'gentlemanly' part...] The System was speechless.
"Yes! Bro! Yes! There are six amazing JoJos!" Mizuna started rambling like a fanatic.
"Local thug beats up aspiring youth. Century-old wealthy family destroys millennium-old artifacts. Delinquent beats up centenarian. Delinquent beats up quiet office worker. Gangster stabs boss in the back to take over. Delinquent girl goes to prison to beat up a priest. Evil organization assassinates the patriot President. Four-balled sailor stalks innocent boy. American student sells contraband. What high moral standards these protagonists have!"
Mizuna ranted to himself.
[You call that high moral standards?] The System was even more speechless.
"Guaranteed! Stand Users don't lie to Stand Users!" Mizuna affirmed.
[Since you put it that way... Bullsht! Are we Stand Users? Am I even human?!] The System roared back.
"Don't worry about the details, let's start now!" Mizuna said excitedly.
He took out a stack of draft paper from the System and began drawing furiously.
---
Meanwhile, with Hiruzen.
Sasuke Sarutobi and Biwako (Hanako) were very happy to see Hiruzen looking different after coming home. Their son finally didn't want to die anymore...
"How was your day, son?" Sasuke asked.
"It was fine. Just average," Hiruzen replied calmly.
It was as if the person who wanted to commit suicide yesterday wasn't him.
"Is that so... that's good," Biwako said happily.
Biwako thought her words yesterday had encouraged Hiruzen to live on. She added:
"That's right! Son! Although you are ugly... you have other qualities! And even if you don't, Mom and Dad are by your side!"
Sasuke, who was happily eating, suddenly choked on his rice.
"Cough! Cough! Hanako, wait!"
But he was a step too late.
"I'm full..."
Hiruzen lowered his head and walked slowly back to his room.
Biwako was confused. "Oh my, why did the child eat so little today?"
But Sasuke saw it. Hidden in Hiruzen's eyes was the Will to Die!
He immediately rushed to Hiruzen's room.
But Hiruzen was fast. He had already thrown the rope over the beam.
Seeing his dad burst in, Hiruzen looked at Sasuke with despair.
"Dad... I've... reached... my limit!"
He was about to put his neck in the noose.
"Wait! Hiruzen, listen to Dad! You will have a beautiful life!"
Biwako followed them in. Seeing her son like this, she rushed forward to pull him down.
But the more she pulled, the dimmer the light in Hiruzen's eyes became.
Suddenly, maybe because she was impatient, or for some other reason, Biwako said to her husband:
"Husband... matters have reached this point... Use the Elbow on Hiruzen!"
Biwako smiled eerily as she looked at Sasuke.
Sasuke showed the same expression Hiruzen had worn that morning.
Somehow, his body started moving on its own. As a Jonin, he flashed behind Hiruzen in an instant and dropped a massive elbow right onto Hiruzen's head.
Bonk.
Hiruzen collapsed onto his bed and fell into a peaceful sleep...
---
Far away in the Shimura Clan compound, Danzo suddenly saw his best friend Hiruzen's face flash in his mind.
"Strange? Is Hiruzen missing me?" Danzo muttered.
---
Back to Mizuna.
Mizuna had finished the draft for the first volume of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood.
Suddenly, he remembered something.
"Oh! I still have a Purple-Tier Draw left! System, draw!"
The System rolled its eyes (metaphorically).
[Starting Draw... Congratulations Host! You obtained Terraria Item: "Heart Lantern (Weakened Version)" x1.]
Mizuna looked at the heart-shaped lantern item in the system inventory, confused.
"Heart Lantern? Wait! Heart Lantern!"
......