The wind was cold, but it wasn't what made me shake.
It was him.
Keifer stood a few feet away, like he was scared one wrong step would make me disappear.
"Say it," I whispered. "Whatever lie you dragged me all the way here to tell."
He flinched.
"I'm not lying this time."
I laughed, but my eyes burned. "You were so good at it before."
"I know." His voice was low. "That's why I hate myself for it."
Silence stretched between us, filled with the sound of the waves.
"Do you know what it felt like?" I said. "To love someone who looked at me like I was disposable?"
His hands curled into fists.
"I did that to you on purpose," he said.
My heart dropped. "Of course you did."
"No," he said quickly. "I mean… I hurt you on purpose. I made you hate me on purpose."
I stared at him. "Why would you ever—"
"Because loving me was putting you in danger."
The words slammed into me.
"They came to me," he said. "People who knew exactly how much you meant to me. They told me if you stayed with me, you'd get hurt. And they proved it."
My throat went dry.
"I saw messages. Photos. You being followed. I was supposed to protect you, Jay… but I was the reason you were a target."
My chest felt too tight to breathe.
"So I chose the worst way to save you," he whispered. "I made you think I never cared."
Tears slid down my face before I could stop them.
"You let me believe I was nothing."
"I let you believe I was cruel," he said. "Because cruel men don't have anything people can use against them."
I shook my head. "You flirted with someone else. You laughed while I was breaking."
"Because if I looked like I missed you… they would've known you still mattered."
The ocean blurred in front of me.
"All this time," I whispered, "you were just pretending?"
"I was pretending I didn't love you," he said. "And it was the hardest thing I've ever done."
I pressed my hand to my chest. It hurt too much.
"You should've told me," I said.
"I was scared," he admitted. "Scared you'd try to stay. Scared you'd get hurt anyway."
I took a step closer without realizing it.
"You don't get to protect me by destroying me," I said softly.
"I know," he whispered. "And I'm so sorry."
The wind tugged at my hair.
And for the first time since he left…
I didn't feel crazy anymore.
I felt seen.
Chapter: The Pieces We Never Threw Away
I didn't know what to do with the truth.
It sat between us like something alive — fragile, breathing, aching.
"So all those nights," I said slowly, "when I cried myself to sleep… you were just out there pretending I didn't exist?"
Keifer flinched. "I was crying too."
That made my throat tighten.
"Don't," I whispered. "Don't say things that make it harder to hate you."
"I don't want you to hate me anymore."
"But I don't know how not to," I said. "You were my first everything. And you left me like I was nothing."
He stepped closer, stopping when he was still an arm's length away, like he was afraid to cross a line.
"You were never nothing," he said. "You were the only thing that ever scared me."
The wind whipped around us, carrying the smell of salt and old memories.
"Do you know what I did after you left?" I asked. "I went to the gym because I didn't know where else to put the pain. I lifted until my arms burned just so I wouldn't think about you."
His eyes darkened. "I saw that today."
"Good," I snapped. "I hope it hurt."
"It did."
I looked away, blinking hard. "I kept thinking maybe I imagined what we had. Maybe I made it all up in my head."
"You didn't," he said immediately. "Every laugh, every late-night conversation, every kiss… it was real to me."
I turned back to him. "Then why did you make me feel like a mistake?"
"Because mistakes don't get hunted," he said quietly.
The words settled into me slowly, painfully.
"You really thought ruining us was the only way?"
"I didn't want to," he said. "But every time I thought about you getting hurt because of me… I couldn't breathe."
Silence wrapped around us.
"You don't get to decide what I can survive," I said.
"I know. And I hate myself for taking that choice from you."
Tears slipped down my cheeks. I didn't wipe them away.
"I loved you," I whispered.
"I still do," he said.
That broke me.
I covered my face, shoulders shaking. "You don't get to say that so easily."
"I say it because it's true."
Before I realized it, I was crying — really crying — the kind that makes your chest ache.
Keifer hesitated, then slowly stepped forward.
"Can I—" he started.
I nodded.
He wrapped his arms around me, careful, like I might shatter.
And I hated how right it felt.
"I was so angry," I whispered into his shirt. "I wanted to forget you."
"I tried to forget you too," he murmured. "It didn't work."
We stayed like that, the waves crashing, our breathing slowly syncing.
"I don't know if I can forgive you," I said.
"You don't have to," he replied. "Not today. Not ever, if you can't."
I pulled back slightly, looking up at him.
"But I want you," he added softly. "Even if all I get is this moment."
My heart twisted.
"Why does it still feel like you're home?" I asked.
"Because you were always mine," he said. "And I was always yours. Even when I pretended otherwise."
The island felt smaller. Quieter.
Like the world was holding its breath.
I didn't kiss him.
Not yet.
But I didn't step away either.
And for the first time since he broke me…
I let myself believe we weren't completely lost.