Group '11 D' created by Jean
Venti
"What's this group for?"
Tartaglia
"Oh broooooooo, you're alive?????"
Venti
"Sup, well yeah, I'm alive. Where's our other bro?"
Tartaglia
"I dunno, to be honest. He probably kicked the bucket."
Kaeya
"Bro, I'm alive!!!!!!"
Venti
"Ooooooh, finally you're online. Where have you been?"
Tartaglia
"Brooooo, finally you're here!"
Kaeya
"God damn it, Venti, I was running away from Dildo."
Tartaglia
"Holy shit, did he at least not fuck you?"
Diluc
"First of all, Kaeya, it's Diluc, not 'Dildo.' And second, Tartaglia, I did not fuck him."
Venti
"Damn it, why not?"
Jean
"Listen, Tartaglia, Venti, Kaeya—this is a school group, not your personal group chat. So please, write here only for business!"
Tartaglia
"So what if it's a chat? We have the right to chat."
Jean
"Why do I have to deal with this class... Anyway, I wanted to say that we have a new homeroom teacher; he teaches History, and we have new students."
Venti
"Are they batshit crazy?"
Jean
"I hope not. I'm going to add the homeroom teacher and the new students now. AND I'D BETTER NOT SEE YOU THREE—OR ANYONE ELSE IN THIS CHAT—ACTING LIKE TOTAL IDIOTS!! We need to put our best foot forward. GOT IT?!"
Tartaglia, Venti, and Kaeya
"YES, SIR!"
User Jean added users Zhongli, Aether, Lumine, Kazuha, Sara, Kokomi, Gorou
Aether
"What the hell?"
Lumine
"What the hell?"
Venti
"Do you guys have an almond connection?"
Lumine
"Nope, an anal one!"
Tartaglia
"If you're crazy, join us! You'll be our bro."
Kaeya
"Yeah, come on, it'll be cool! 😍"
Tartaglia and Venti
"Oh shit, are we gonna send emojis when it's cringe? 😏"
Scaramouche
"You guys are cringe yourselves, you fucking morons."
Kazuha
"Why do you speak like that? Just be more polite."
Scaramouche
"No one asked you, shut your mouth and stay quiet."
Kazuha
"You lack any sense of mannerly speech."
Scaramouche
"So what? I couldn't give a flying fuck."
Kazuha
"It's useless to talk to you about behavioral norms."
Tartaglia
Replying to user Scaramouche
"You guys are cringe yourselves, you fuck..."
"Bro, why are you so angry? 😟😟😟 That's actually hurtful."
Scaramouche
"I don't give a damn about an idiot like you, so go fuck yourself, you son of a stupid bitch."
Kaeya
"Did you just have the audacity to insult my bro? 😡😡😡"
Jean
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU, HUH?! I asked you nicely, and our new students and teacher haven't even introduced themselves yet!!!"
The entire chat
"😨😨"
Jean
"Please excuse them, I confess I'm ashamed. Could you please introduce yourselves?"
Aether
"I'm Aether, Lumine's brother."
Lumine
"I'm Lumine, Aether's sister."
Kokomi
"Hello, I am Kokomi. I am pleased to meet you all."
Sara
"I'm Sara."
Gorou
"Gorou."
Kazuha
"Hello, don't worry about all of this. I am Kazuha."
Scaramouche
"Now it's clear what your name is, mama's boy."
Jean
"Scaramouche, what did I say?! Huh?!"
Scaramouche
"I don't care."
Zhongli
"Hello, dear students. I am your new homeroom teacher and History teacher. I hope that we will get along with everyone.
Zhongli"
Scaramouche
"Why the hell are you signing your messages?"
Zhongli
"Forgive me, it has become a habit of mine."
Aether
"By the way, what are all your names? We introduced ourselves, but you didn't."
Jean
"Sorry, Aether, it turned out this way. Just because of certain individuals, I forgot about it."
Aether
"It's no problem."
Like, everyone introduced themselves, okay?
Xiao
"What happened in this group while I was away?"
Scaramouche
"Look who's alive. You missed all the 'fun'."
Xiao
"This guy won't say anything. So, will someone explain what's going on?"
Aether
"Hi, stranger? Well, anyway, that's not the point. Jean added some new kids and the homeroom teacher, but a bit of a shitstorm happened (I don't know the beginning), and Kazuha started talking to Scra-mouchie, but let's just say he got told to fuck off.
Before that, Lumine and I wrote: 'What the hell?'
And then Tartaglia invited my sister to their group. Kaeya sent a message with an emoji, and Tartaglia and Venti said: 'Oh shit, are we gonna send emojis when it's cringe?' And that's exactly when Scaramouche barged in and did what I mentioned above about telling Kazuha to fuck off.
Basically, it's easier to scroll up and read, since I'm not good at explaining things."
Xiao
"Thanks. By the way, Jean, where's Lisa to calm you down?"
Jean
"She can't right now, unfortunately. Her internet was cut off. ("
Chongyun
"Someone help me!!!"
Aether
"Did something happen??"
Chongyun
"XINGQIU IS TRYING TO FORCE ME TO READ HIS FANFIC AND ALSO EAT A PEPPER, BUT I CAN'T!!!"
Aether
"Chongyun, what does Xingqiu dislike?"
Chongyun
"Well... He doesn't like carrots, you could say... He hates them??"
Aether
"Then use carrots against him -^^- "
Chongyun
"OH GOD, THANK YOU. WISHING HEALTH TO YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES!!!!!"
Aether
"Always happy to help ^^"
Lumine
"Aether, go make something to eat."
Aether
"Go make it yourself."
Lumine
"Well, if I burn the kitchen down, it's your fault."
Aether
"Fuck... fine."
Venti
"Can I ask a question? Although why the hell am I asking if I can 🥰✨. So, Aether, why does Lumine make you cook?"
Aether
"She doesn't know how to cook, and she burned the kitchen down once, so that's that."
Lumine
"What's true is true."
Xiangling
"What pain this is..."
Aether
"?"
Xiangling
"SHE BURNED THE KITCHEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭"
Aether
"Aaaaah... I see..."
3:00 AM
Venti
"I think the name is boring."
Hu Tao
"Naturally. No one changes it, so it stays boring."
Venti
"Settled then."
User Venti changed the group name from "11 D" to "The Abortions"
Hu Tao
"Just what we needed 😏"
Venti
"Well, naturally 🙄🙄🙄"
Albedo
"Interesting fact: data on deaths from falling out of bed exists only for the USA, where an average of 450 people die annually. Worldwide, it might be a maximum of 7,000 people, even by the most grandiose estimates."
Hu Tao
"Holy shit, then why aren't they ordering coffins from me?"
Albedo
"How should I know?"
Kokomi
"Why do we need this information?"
Kazuha
"Guys, stop texting, others are sleeping and you're bothering them. ("
Hu Tao
"OH MY GOOOOOOD, KAZUHA, YOU ARE SUCH A CUTIE ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️"
Kazuha
"Uhh... Thanks?"
Scaramouche
"CAN YOU FUCKING SHUT UP OR JUST DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING SUB-HUMANS? I'M FUCKING SLEEPING AND MESSAGES KEEP COMING. IF YOU CAN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP, THEN GO DIE, YOU FUCKING SCUM. PEOPLE ARE FUCKING SLEEPING AND YOU'RE BOTHERING THEM, YOU LITTLE BITCHES. I WILL FUCKING BONE YOU, KILL YOU, BURY YOU, AND CUT OFF YOUR BODY PARTS, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. SHUT YOUR FUCKING TRAPS AND GO TO SLEEP."
Kazuha
"I am sorry, Scaramouche, that it turned out this way. And yes, please stop using so much profanity; it is foul language. I am not saying you should stop swearing entirely, but do it rarely and please address others normally. Remember the saying: 'Put yourself in the shoes of that person/animal.' I don't think you would find it pleasant. And by the way, you are using a lot of repetition. I hope this helps."
Scaramouche
"..."
Kazuha
"That's that ☺️"
6:00 AM
Aether
"What happened yesterday..."
Zhongli
"I do not know myself, Aether.
Schedule for September 2nd:
1. —
2. Computer Science
3. Physical Education
4. Physics
5. History
6. History
7. Algebra
8. Geometry
You do not have the first lesson because the Chemistry teacher has left and will be away for a week."
Tartaglia
"Why so many lessons?! 😨😨😨"
Venti
"I'm in shock myself 😨😨😨"
Albedo
"Hello, Mr. Zhongli. Alright, thank you for the information."
Aether
"Wow, 7 lessons when there are only 8... Alright, thanks..."
Scaramouche
"Why are you surprised? Was it different for you?"
Lumine
"I'm in fucking shock 😨😨😨
Replying to user Scaramouche:
'Why are you surprised? Was it different...'
Yes, it was different for us. 4-5 lessons maximum, and even 6 lessons was considered a lot for us at our school."
The entire chat
"THAT MANY?!"
Aether
"That's why I'm surprised."
Zhongli
"Students, your lessons will be shortened by 5 minutes. They will be 40 minutes long for this week."
The entire chat
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
Zhongli
"For September 1st, you will have a homeroom hour and you will also collect your textbooks. The homeroom hour will take place at 9:55 AM. Do not be late."